Back in March 2016, a new multi-media platform was about to launch. A podcast, radio show with written articles on line to support the on-air hi jinx. It was a new comedy, The Morning Kvetch. And they needed experienced kvetchers to supply material to the website. Enter me. I had a number of rants and rant-like bits that could be re-worked to fit their site, so it seemed like a good thing. No pay but EXPOSURE!
Yeah, not so much. Granted, my contributions to the site started to wane as the year progressed but I was very much surprised to recently discover the site no longer exists. It's just a Go Daddy placeholder denoting the domain name is available. Gone, all gone. So, I'm going to drag them out and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:
Yeah, not so much. Granted, my contributions to the site started to wane as the year progressed but I was very much surprised to recently discover the site no longer exists. It's just a Go Daddy placeholder denoting the domain name is available. Gone, all gone. So, I'm going to drag them out and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:
Atheists Don’t Have a Prayer
Some of my online peeps seem to think that not believing in God makes their “holier-than-thou” attitudes acceptable. It doesn’t. It’s like they think because there is no God, they have to judge everyone instead.
Hey, look, I get it, there are a lot of messed up people espousing their unique blend of religion. A lot of people think the 11th commandant is “Judge thy Neighbor.” They are not helping the brand.
The online atheists I encounter can’t understand why the world isn’t rushing to join them in throwing off the shackles of some imagined celestial overlord. They don’t know why people cling to their sky-gods and refuse to join them, even with all their mocking attitudes to help them along. Sure, they’ve got a leg up on most religions in that atheists haven’t made a habit of killing people in God’s name. Okay, Mao and Stalin, maybe, but they’ll get an asterisk beside their numbers. Technically these Communist-Atheists committed genocide for political reasons and not just because their victims were God-happy farmers. Plausible deniability like this can be useful. It’s how I continue to believe in money even though millions have been killed in its name for centuries.
But when you get down to it the reason why more people aren’t atheists is because of their lack of holidays. I mean, really, I come around to your way of thinking and what, I’m supposed to give up Christmas Day and Easter break? Come on. We all become atheists and what are we left with? Labor Day? Please. Kiss St. Patrick’s Day good-bye; St. Valentine’s Day, as well. Oh, New Year’s? It’s based on the Gregorian calendar, a well-known tool of the Catholic Church, so nothing to celebrate here, keep moving. Thanksgiving is safe, right? Until you remember who you’re supposed to be giving thanks to. Well, surely they won’t go after Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the day we honor the Right Reverend…oh-oh. Frankly, any atheist I knew wasn’t much of a nationalist either, so I’m guessing Independence Day, Memorial Day. Veteran’s Day and President’s Day are going to get the heave-ho. And we all know Columbus Day has been getting the cold shoulder for years. No, atheists are going to have to come up with some pretty convincing holidays and three-day weekends before they’re going to make any headway around here, otherwise it’s all on Labor Day’s shoulders.
Until then, God’s speed.
Hey, look, I get it, there are a lot of messed up people espousing their unique blend of religion. A lot of people think the 11th commandant is “Judge thy Neighbor.” They are not helping the brand.
The online atheists I encounter can’t understand why the world isn’t rushing to join them in throwing off the shackles of some imagined celestial overlord. They don’t know why people cling to their sky-gods and refuse to join them, even with all their mocking attitudes to help them along. Sure, they’ve got a leg up on most religions in that atheists haven’t made a habit of killing people in God’s name. Okay, Mao and Stalin, maybe, but they’ll get an asterisk beside their numbers. Technically these Communist-Atheists committed genocide for political reasons and not just because their victims were God-happy farmers. Plausible deniability like this can be useful. It’s how I continue to believe in money even though millions have been killed in its name for centuries.
But when you get down to it the reason why more people aren’t atheists is because of their lack of holidays. I mean, really, I come around to your way of thinking and what, I’m supposed to give up Christmas Day and Easter break? Come on. We all become atheists and what are we left with? Labor Day? Please. Kiss St. Patrick’s Day good-bye; St. Valentine’s Day, as well. Oh, New Year’s? It’s based on the Gregorian calendar, a well-known tool of the Catholic Church, so nothing to celebrate here, keep moving. Thanksgiving is safe, right? Until you remember who you’re supposed to be giving thanks to. Well, surely they won’t go after Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the day we honor the Right Reverend…oh-oh. Frankly, any atheist I knew wasn’t much of a nationalist either, so I’m guessing Independence Day, Memorial Day. Veteran’s Day and President’s Day are going to get the heave-ho. And we all know Columbus Day has been getting the cold shoulder for years. No, atheists are going to have to come up with some pretty convincing holidays and three-day weekends before they’re going to make any headway around here, otherwise it’s all on Labor Day’s shoulders.
Until then, God’s speed.
