Back in March 2016, a new multi-media platform was about to launch. A podcast, radio show with written articles on line to support the on-air hi jinx. It was a new comedy, The Morning Kvetch. And they needed experienced kvetchers to supply material to the website. Enter me. I had a number of rants and rant-like bits that could be re-worked to fit their site, so it seemed like a good thing. No pay but EXPOSURE!
Yeah, not so much. Granted, my contributions to the site started to wane as the year progressed but I was very much surprised to find out the site no longer exists. It's just a Go Daddy placeholder denoting the domain name is available. Gone, all gone. So, I'm going to drag them out and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:
Yeah, not so much. Granted, my contributions to the site started to wane as the year progressed but I was very much surprised to find out the site no longer exists. It's just a Go Daddy placeholder denoting the domain name is available. Gone, all gone. So, I'm going to drag them out and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:
Voting, right?
So here’s the deal; people are pushing this same-day voter registration law, where you walk into the polling place on Election Day, register and vote immediately. Because, as we know, when your guy loses, it’s because not enough unaware people voted for him.
For more than a century, we’ve fought to protect the right to vote, when thousands of disenfranchised people were denied the right with poll taxes, literacy tests and through intimidation. Woman fought long and hard to get the vote. However, there had never been an drive to protect the right to vote of the apathetic. Until now. Seriously, we are now allowing the election to turn on the people who hadn’t bothered registering to vote because they were trying to get out of jury duty.
People complain about low-information voters yet now want to make it easier for them to participate in democracy. Why? Because, in an effort to validate our electoral choices, we need to suck in as many other people into our column as possible, that’s why. Sure, you could hold debates, have involved conversations with other voters, making your case and presenting your candidate. But that takes so long and involves so much effort! Instead, let’s go after these LIVs and make them a desired demographic. Sure, they’re wonderful individuals, unless they move in next door or want to date your sister.
For more than a century, we’ve fought to protect the right to vote, when thousands of disenfranchised people were denied the right with poll taxes, literacy tests and through intimidation. Woman fought long and hard to get the vote. However, there had never been an drive to protect the right to vote of the apathetic. Until now. Seriously, we are now allowing the election to turn on the people who hadn’t bothered registering to vote because they were trying to get out of jury duty.
People complain about low-information voters yet now want to make it easier for them to participate in democracy. Why? Because, in an effort to validate our electoral choices, we need to suck in as many other people into our column as possible, that’s why. Sure, you could hold debates, have involved conversations with other voters, making your case and presenting your candidate. But that takes so long and involves so much effort! Instead, let’s go after these LIVs and make them a desired demographic. Sure, they’re wonderful individuals, unless they move in next door or want to date your sister.
So now that we’ve swung open the gates to the LIVs, Now we have to listen to people carry on about making sure they fill in the right ballot and check off the right names. Why? Because you’ve just roped in a bunch of morons to help decide who gets to be the leader of the free world and, as it turns out, they’re not so good at it. Oh, and if your guy loses anyway? Well, then the system was rigged against the imbeciles because their mistakenly-filled-out voting card wasn’t counted. Or they entered a coupon code instead. Yes, let’s go out of our way to get people who think it’s an ATM or the SATs involved.
That’s not all, you say. We need to make Election Day a national holiday, so people don’t have to miss work or get up too early to vote. Plus, it’ll have the added bonus of Election Day Sales that Sears and Honda will be having (and that’s good for the economy, right? Better than the candidates, anyway). I know, let’s move the polling places to the mall while we’re at it so we can shop and vote at the same time. That’ll fix everything! Except for the mall employees, who will have to vote on their lunch hours.
I can’t wait until November, when we will both be enforcing and lamenting every American’s right to vote.
That’s not all, you say. We need to make Election Day a national holiday, so people don’t have to miss work or get up too early to vote. Plus, it’ll have the added bonus of Election Day Sales that Sears and Honda will be having (and that’s good for the economy, right? Better than the candidates, anyway). I know, let’s move the polling places to the mall while we’re at it so we can shop and vote at the same time. That’ll fix everything! Except for the mall employees, who will have to vote on their lunch hours.
I can’t wait until November, when we will both be enforcing and lamenting every American’s right to vote.
