Back in March 2016, a new multi-media platform was about to launch. A podcast, radio show with written articles on line to support the on-air hi jinx. It was a new comedy, The Morning Kvetch. And they needed experienced kvetchers to supply material to the website. Enter me. I had a number of rants and rant-like bits that could be re-worked to fit their site, so it seemed like a good thing. No pay but EXPOSURE!
Yeah, not so much. Granted, my contributions to the site started to wane as the year progressed but I was very much surprised to find out the site no longer exists. It's just a Go Daddy placeholder denoting the domain name is available. Gone, all gone. So, I'm going to drag them out and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:
Yeah, not so much. Granted, my contributions to the site started to wane as the year progressed but I was very much surprised to find out the site no longer exists. It's just a Go Daddy placeholder denoting the domain name is available. Gone, all gone. So, I'm going to drag them out and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:
Lo-Flo Rider
So, after a long productive life, our washing machine went to the big outlet in the sky. The good folks at Sears had to make good on the warrantee, and we could pick out the replacement machine. As it turns out, the technology and design of washers has greatly changed in the last 15 years. They are designed to be lighter. They are designed to be more environmentally friendly. They are designed to use less water. In other words, they suck.
I cannot believe how complicated they made a simple thing like washing clothes. How many buttons to I need? How many speeds, cycles and temperatures do we need? And the lid locks now? What are we, the space shuttle? Are we afraid my clothes are going to be robbed?
And the machine is programed that it won’t trust me enough to pick how I want to wash the clothes; no, it’ll tell me with its fancy array of sensors. Unless if I put in too many towels, to too few, then it can’t tell what’s going on and just puts itself in an infinite loop of rinse and repeat. Not even wash, rinse repeat. And think of all the water I’m saving by having the machine repeated fill up and empty! So, thanks for the manual override button, Kenmore, so I can stop it.
I cannot believe how complicated they made a simple thing like washing clothes. How many buttons to I need? How many speeds, cycles and temperatures do we need? And the lid locks now? What are we, the space shuttle? Are we afraid my clothes are going to be robbed?
And the machine is programed that it won’t trust me enough to pick how I want to wash the clothes; no, it’ll tell me with its fancy array of sensors. Unless if I put in too many towels, to too few, then it can’t tell what’s going on and just puts itself in an infinite loop of rinse and repeat. Not even wash, rinse repeat. And think of all the water I’m saving by having the machine repeated fill up and empty! So, thanks for the manual override button, Kenmore, so I can stop it.
Oh, I’m sorry, did you want your clothes not to be covered with weird white powder every time you take it out of the washing machine? Yeah, we don’t do that anymore. You call to complain, and the friendly folks at the helpline will tell you to use warmer water, to use liquid detergent, to use LESS detergent, to only wash during full moons, but everything is still covered with white residue. Now I just wave the bottle of detergent over the machine before I start it.
The only thing worse is my new Eaz-E-Dry dryer that works using the heat of a florescent light bulb.
The only thing worse is my new Eaz-E-Dry dryer that works using the heat of a florescent light bulb.
