The gang over at Higgs Weldon has posted one of my comedy bits over on their site. Check it out. It's like here only there.
ETA: Higgs/Weldon went offline, so here's that bit:
ETA: Higgs/Weldon went offline, so here's that bit:
There are Third World problems and First World problems and then there are:
Disney World Problems
• Line to say hello to Mickey longer than the line to the bathroom.
• PETA keeps barricading “Country Bear Jamboree.”
• Fast-Pass not all that fast.
• Fireworks way loud.
• Vendor all out of turkey drumsticks.
• Got wetter on Space Mountain than I did on Splash Mountain because of the stupid kid with the soda.
• Automatic toilets there cause me to forget to flush at hotel and home.
• South American family of 12 cut the line ahead of us for Muppet 3-D show.
• Mary Poppins is kind of stuck up.
• Breakfast with the Characters consists of 3rd-tier Disney characters like Meeko, Dewey and a donkey from “Pinocchio.”
• The vendor who used to sell the hot dog egg rolls? No longer there!
• I heard that same joke on the Jungle Cruise the last time I was here.
• Why are all the Marvel characters over at Universal Studios?
• Can’t remember if I parked the RV in Goofy 5 or Minnie 7.
• Pluto walking around on his hind legs not authentic to the character.
• Hall of Presidents? More like Hall of Sominex!
• Why are they selling autograph books so I can get the signatures of some people inside a costume?
• No way should Darth Vader and Buzz Lightyear be hanging out.
• Epcot? Too educational.
• That guy next to me wouldn’t stop singing the “It’s a Small World” song and we were on the Spinning Teacups.
• Once again forced to decide between World Hopper 5-Day Pass and children’s college fund.
Disney World Problems
• Line to say hello to Mickey longer than the line to the bathroom.
• PETA keeps barricading “Country Bear Jamboree.”
• Fast-Pass not all that fast.
• Fireworks way loud.
• Vendor all out of turkey drumsticks.
• Got wetter on Space Mountain than I did on Splash Mountain because of the stupid kid with the soda.
• Automatic toilets there cause me to forget to flush at hotel and home.
• South American family of 12 cut the line ahead of us for Muppet 3-D show.
• Mary Poppins is kind of stuck up.
• Breakfast with the Characters consists of 3rd-tier Disney characters like Meeko, Dewey and a donkey from “Pinocchio.”
• The vendor who used to sell the hot dog egg rolls? No longer there!
• I heard that same joke on the Jungle Cruise the last time I was here.
• Why are all the Marvel characters over at Universal Studios?
• Can’t remember if I parked the RV in Goofy 5 or Minnie 7.
• Pluto walking around on his hind legs not authentic to the character.
• Hall of Presidents? More like Hall of Sominex!
• Why are they selling autograph books so I can get the signatures of some people inside a costume?
• No way should Darth Vader and Buzz Lightyear be hanging out.
• Epcot? Too educational.
• That guy next to me wouldn’t stop singing the “It’s a Small World” song and we were on the Spinning Teacups.
• Once again forced to decide between World Hopper 5-Day Pass and children’s college fund.
