Occasionally, I'll churn out a prose piece, an essay, a news parody, a list of stuff. Sometimes I'll be forced to turn them into a sketch or something, trying to get the bit out there if I couldn't get it published somewhere. I've an stuff printed in the Staten Island Advance, the NY Post, Themestream (the self-publishing of the early internet), and the occasional humor site like Modern Humorist or The Big Jewel.
Some of those things have folded. Some reject my work. Some don't respond. There's some second tier humor sites that have accepted my pieces, but I don't know anyone who reads them. So, if I'm going to publish things on obscure internet sites, why not just put it on my blog? So, here it is, a look into writing and show biz:
Some of those things have folded. Some reject my work. Some don't respond. There's some second tier humor sites that have accepted my pieces, but I don't know anyone who reads them. So, if I'm going to publish things on obscure internet sites, why not just put it on my blog? So, here it is, a look into writing and show biz:
Inside Pitch
In the fractured entertainment media world in which we now exist, I just can’t write a “screenplay” any more. I have to write “content” and then be prepared to pitch it to any number of outlets that may or may not be on the same page as me. So, I’ve had to begin tailoring my script pitches based on what cable channel I’m pitching to. Like my latest; it began as a basic rom-com but I’m prepping my pitches appropriately:
The pitch:
A girl gets jilted at the altar, so she accepts a new job in a small, quaint town in the country, where she means the local handyman…
Hallmark
After an awkward start, they discover they are perfect for each other and she finds happiness in her new hometown.
Lifetime
He murders her and hides the body in the bogs. He misleads the investigation but is finally captured due to a cryptic clue left behind.
SyFy
He’s an alien and after meeting her, calls off the invasion he’s been scouting for.
Paramount +
Oh, she’s a Vulcan and he’s a Klingon.
TruTV
And soon they begin playing increasingly elaborate practical jokes on each other, until the town has to step in and stop them.
TCM
And it’s in black & white!
CW
Then a meteorite crashes outside town, giving them both superpowers. So they team up to stop the developers who want to raze the town.
Apple TV
Where they team up to coach the local soccer team to the state championship.
Netflix
And it drags out for 9 episodes with a possible pick-up on the back 9.
Disney +
...On Tatooine.
the end
The pitch:
A girl gets jilted at the altar, so she accepts a new job in a small, quaint town in the country, where she means the local handyman…
Hallmark
After an awkward start, they discover they are perfect for each other and she finds happiness in her new hometown.
Lifetime
He murders her and hides the body in the bogs. He misleads the investigation but is finally captured due to a cryptic clue left behind.
SyFy
He’s an alien and after meeting her, calls off the invasion he’s been scouting for.
Paramount +
Oh, she’s a Vulcan and he’s a Klingon.
TruTV
And soon they begin playing increasingly elaborate practical jokes on each other, until the town has to step in and stop them.
TCM
And it’s in black & white!
CW
Then a meteorite crashes outside town, giving them both superpowers. So they team up to stop the developers who want to raze the town.
Apple TV
Where they team up to coach the local soccer team to the state championship.
Netflix
And it drags out for 9 episodes with a possible pick-up on the back 9.
Disney +
...On Tatooine.
the end
