From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
I was finally getting back into a groove, creating new "comedy content" (as it is now called) for PHC. The road trip cleared away some of the cobwebs. Then the Martha Steward insider scandal starting heating up in addition to all the other shady Wall Street nonsense that had been going on during the course of the year. I am not a fan of Wall Street (having worked there for decades) and Martha Stewart was definitely singled out for something a lot of actual brokers and Congresspeople get away with all the time. It's a short bit, but it holds a lot of my contempt. I thought I did a clever job of combining the idea of home crafts with the idea of a financial show. And the show had done a Martha Stewart impression in the past. Seemed like a decent thing to pitch but it was a swing and a miss. So, we're pulling this sketch out of mothballs for the blog...
Wall $treet Week With Martha Stewart
(GK, MS: Martha Stewart)
GK: And later tonight, on most of these public radio stations, comes "Wall Street Week with Martha Stewart."
MS: Good evening, everyone. Tonight on "Wall Street Week" we'll be taking those shares of Enron that I didn't sell and with a little glue and a little glitter turn them into cheery place mats that will brighten up any Board of Directors meeting.
I'll be showing you that project we began last week. I took my remaining shares of ImClone Systems and began decopaguing them to the sides of this antique trunk. I think it came out remarkably well. It's something you'll cherish for many financial quarters and it's a real conversation starter at any CEO's office or employee lounge. I know they talk of nothing but at my corporate headquarters.
I'm presently using my trunk as a display for my origami figures. Of course, origami is the ancient Japanese art of paper folding. I created this wonderful menagerie of animal figures out of my many shares of K-Mart stock. Yes, those shares have certainly seen better days, haven't they? And of course with the SEC and Congress latching onto me like a hot glue gun, there's not much else I can to with my shares.
We'll be starting a new project using our shares of Worldcom. The grade of paper they used for their stock certificates is an exceptionally high quality, very strong and durable. It's so nice you wonder what else they piddled away their money on. We'll be taking the Worldcom stock, bleach it white and bind it into a handsome leather tome, perfect as a diary or journal in which you may record dates, times and summaries of all your conversations with your broker, I know I wish I had this book six months ago. But silly me, I depended on my broker to maintain accurate records and now I'm paying for that. But we learn from our mistakes and that's a good thing. When we finish our books, we'll be able to better list those who deceived and failed us and threatened our livelihood. And look stylish while doing so. And looking ahead to next week, well, you may want to hang on to your shares of Global Crossing for a coffee table design I have in mind.
GK: That's tonight on "Wall Street Week with Martha Stewart."
end
GK: And later tonight, on most of these public radio stations, comes "Wall Street Week with Martha Stewart."
MS: Good evening, everyone. Tonight on "Wall Street Week" we'll be taking those shares of Enron that I didn't sell and with a little glue and a little glitter turn them into cheery place mats that will brighten up any Board of Directors meeting.
I'll be showing you that project we began last week. I took my remaining shares of ImClone Systems and began decopaguing them to the sides of this antique trunk. I think it came out remarkably well. It's something you'll cherish for many financial quarters and it's a real conversation starter at any CEO's office or employee lounge. I know they talk of nothing but at my corporate headquarters.
I'm presently using my trunk as a display for my origami figures. Of course, origami is the ancient Japanese art of paper folding. I created this wonderful menagerie of animal figures out of my many shares of K-Mart stock. Yes, those shares have certainly seen better days, haven't they? And of course with the SEC and Congress latching onto me like a hot glue gun, there's not much else I can to with my shares.
We'll be starting a new project using our shares of Worldcom. The grade of paper they used for their stock certificates is an exceptionally high quality, very strong and durable. It's so nice you wonder what else they piddled away their money on. We'll be taking the Worldcom stock, bleach it white and bind it into a handsome leather tome, perfect as a diary or journal in which you may record dates, times and summaries of all your conversations with your broker, I know I wish I had this book six months ago. But silly me, I depended on my broker to maintain accurate records and now I'm paying for that. But we learn from our mistakes and that's a good thing. When we finish our books, we'll be able to better list those who deceived and failed us and threatened our livelihood. And look stylish while doing so. And looking ahead to next week, well, you may want to hang on to your shares of Global Crossing for a coffee table design I have in mind.
GK: That's tonight on "Wall Street Week with Martha Stewart."
end
