From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
It's a short piece, that I used to mock the text culture that was getting revved up with the youth. Text reading IA was around and starting to expand, but it was an idea I had and I needed to get something together for the week's show. They saw my ploy and didn't select it. I don't believe I bothered submitting it anywhere else because I knew it was lacking. Today, with the text-slang and emojis I could probably take it further, in light of the fact that the service exists in cars and to read scripts.
Text Message for the Blind
(GK, SM: Sales Man, MV: Mechanical Voice)
GK: Tonight's program is brought to you by Total Cellular Phone Service.
SM: Yes, with our latest cellular feature, text messaging for the blind.
GK: And how does that work?
SM: You just type in your text message to your visually impaired friends, and they press this button and:
MV: Hello. How are you? I am swell. Pizza after class?
SM: Now your visually impaired friends can enjoy the fun and cease of text messaging.
GK: It's a phone, right?
SM: Yes.
GK: So, why don't you just call your blind friend and ask them to meet for pizza?
SM: Where's the fun in that?
GK: I mean, Alexander Grahman Bell put a lot of time and effort in inventing a machine that could carry the human voice. What are we doing sending telegrams to each other?
SM: But they're instant! And you get to misspell words on purpose. It's cool.
GK: You know what, I think we'll stick with our regular sponsors tonight. But thanks for stopping by.
GK: Tonight's program is brought to you by Total Cellular Phone Service.
SM: Yes, with our latest cellular feature, text messaging for the blind.
GK: And how does that work?
SM: You just type in your text message to your visually impaired friends, and they press this button and:
MV: Hello. How are you? I am swell. Pizza after class?
SM: Now your visually impaired friends can enjoy the fun and cease of text messaging.
GK: It's a phone, right?
SM: Yes.
GK: So, why don't you just call your blind friend and ask them to meet for pizza?
SM: Where's the fun in that?
GK: I mean, Alexander Grahman Bell put a lot of time and effort in inventing a machine that could carry the human voice. What are we doing sending telegrams to each other?
SM: But they're instant! And you get to misspell words on purpose. It's cool.
GK: You know what, I think we'll stick with our regular sponsors tonight. But thanks for stopping by.
