From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Sometimes commercial parodies are a quick and easy way to get something on paper, to create something to submit, just to keep your visibility to the powers-that-be. I pulled out the old journal from this time and to discover the origins of this sketch. There was a big news story about people finding out that McDonald's fries included meat juice in the fryer and suing them about it. It's always been a thing; Even more recent, the Subway Mystery Tuna story. There have been more than one one attempt at suing companies for selling junk food. But, seriously, why do you think they call it junk food? It made sense to turn it into a selling point. At least it did to me. PHC, not so much. So here we go now...
P.S.-I love how I can type in any phrase into the search engine and get an image to use on the blog. This posting phrase? Food Lawyer! Ha!
P.S.-I love how I can type in any phrase into the search engine and get an image to use on the blog. This posting phrase? Food Lawyer! Ha!
Sue-able Cuisine
GK: What did you have for dinner?
W1: I had a Chicken Caesar Salad and a sparkling water.
MN: I had a veggie burger with some tofu fries.
WM: I had a deep fried egg yolk platter.
MN: You had what?
W2: A deep fried egg yolk platter.
MN: That'll do you serious harm.
W2: I'm counting on it. It's one of those new Sue-able Cuisine dinners.
AN: Yes, Sue-able Cuisine. It's the dinner for people who just aren't willing to accept responsibility for their own actions. Want to pig out on stuff that has no nutritional value? What to gorge yourself on food that makes junk food look like something that fell out of the health food truck? And want to be able to blame someone else for the fact that you can't button your pants any more? Then try Sue-able Cusine. Food guaranteed to put your well-being at risk and give you the chance for a major lawsuit. Just try one of our fried salt licks, or the tasty lard-by-the-Foot and listen to your organs fail. Maybe try our Vegetarian Feast.
WM: What's so bad about your Vegetarian Feast?
AN: It's make with meat. It's one tasty possible lawsuit after another in the frozen food section of your supermarket. Granted, we have a bank of high-powered attorneys on retainer to shoot down your claims, but you never know.
WM: I'm intrigued.
AN: So look for Sue-able Cuisine in the frozen food section of your local supermarket. Each meal serves one and costs $87.
WM: Eighty seven dollars??
AN: We have to cover our legal fees somehow. But what's $87 when you have the chance of winning millions?
GK: Sue-able Cuisine. It's like having a lottery in your mouth.
end
W1: I had a Chicken Caesar Salad and a sparkling water.
MN: I had a veggie burger with some tofu fries.
WM: I had a deep fried egg yolk platter.
MN: You had what?
W2: A deep fried egg yolk platter.
MN: That'll do you serious harm.
W2: I'm counting on it. It's one of those new Sue-able Cuisine dinners.
AN: Yes, Sue-able Cuisine. It's the dinner for people who just aren't willing to accept responsibility for their own actions. Want to pig out on stuff that has no nutritional value? What to gorge yourself on food that makes junk food look like something that fell out of the health food truck? And want to be able to blame someone else for the fact that you can't button your pants any more? Then try Sue-able Cusine. Food guaranteed to put your well-being at risk and give you the chance for a major lawsuit. Just try one of our fried salt licks, or the tasty lard-by-the-Foot and listen to your organs fail. Maybe try our Vegetarian Feast.
WM: What's so bad about your Vegetarian Feast?
AN: It's make with meat. It's one tasty possible lawsuit after another in the frozen food section of your supermarket. Granted, we have a bank of high-powered attorneys on retainer to shoot down your claims, but you never know.
WM: I'm intrigued.
AN: So look for Sue-able Cuisine in the frozen food section of your local supermarket. Each meal serves one and costs $87.
WM: Eighty seven dollars??
AN: We have to cover our legal fees somehow. But what's $87 when you have the chance of winning millions?
GK: Sue-able Cuisine. It's like having a lottery in your mouth.
end
