From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
I had forgotten about this one. It was such a PHC-centric/9-11 bit I couldn't have peddled it elsewhere. As I've stated elsewhere, I always figured a-can't-miss-way to get a skit on was to play the radio sound effects card. Weirdly, it always missed for me. Obviously, PHC enjoyed doing them. They were silly and fun to right, but I tried to wait until I had a decent premise to hang the bit on. And the rash of post 9/11 benefits seemed as good a premise as any. Reading it again as I prepped it for the blog, I like it. But GK didn't, I suppose.
Sound Effects Benefit
GK: There have been so many fund raising efforts on behalf of the nation in the last few weeks. We've seen our fellow entertainers rallying the nation. We've seen TV and movie stars on telethons, musicians at concerts, even stand up comics holding special shows. Not wanting to be left out, our own sound effects man extraordinaire, Tom Keith has organized a grand fund raiser.
TK: That's right, Garrison. I made some phone calls...
(phone rings)
TK; ...and called in some favors and have gathered together some of the biggest names in the business.
GK: Yes, so watch your local listings for Tom Keith's All Star Sound Effects Benefit,
(mouth trumpets)
GK: Hosted by our own Tom Keith, who will be doing his wonderful cow...
(moo)
GK:...his majestic elk...
(elk)
GK: and his comical yak...
(yak)
GK: Joining Tom will be some of the most respected names in the sound effects industry. Thomas Withers will be here, doing his classic galloping horse...
(gallop)
GK: ...his eerie "Running Away"...
(footsteps)
GK: ...and a sly "Man in a Closet."
(muffled voice talking)
GK: Also scheduled to appear, James "Bud" Romano doing his amazing chicken...
(cluck)
GK: ...his memorizing wind...
(wind sound)
GK: ...and his mighty duck.
(quack)
TK: And that's not the half of it, Garrison. William Williamson has promised to come on and recreate his legendary "Police Radio Dispatcher."
PD: (talking into cup) One Adam-12, one Adam-12, a 502 on Main Street and Elm. Please respond.
GK: I can't wait. And then, the grand old man of the business, Bently Haversham is coming out of retirement to do his world famous "Model T Starting Up."
(sputtering car noises)
TK: He was the master.
GK: And a very exciting first, a dueling sound effects challenge...
(few bars of "Dueling Banjos", a crash, "Dueling Banjos",
baying wolf, "Dueling Banjos," Train whistle, "Dueling
Banjos," a series of bangs, whistles, crows, whinny, motor
noises.)
GK: Yes, Tom Keith's All-Star Sound Effects benefit with more bangs...
(bangs)
GK: ...slams...
(door slam)
GK: ...and dogs...
(barking)
GK: Then you can shake a chicken at...
(wobbly clucking)
GK: Coming up on most of these Public Radio Stations.
end
TK: That's right, Garrison. I made some phone calls...
(phone rings)
TK; ...and called in some favors and have gathered together some of the biggest names in the business.
GK: Yes, so watch your local listings for Tom Keith's All Star Sound Effects Benefit,
(mouth trumpets)
GK: Hosted by our own Tom Keith, who will be doing his wonderful cow...
(moo)
GK:...his majestic elk...
(elk)
GK: and his comical yak...
(yak)
GK: Joining Tom will be some of the most respected names in the sound effects industry. Thomas Withers will be here, doing his classic galloping horse...
(gallop)
GK: ...his eerie "Running Away"...
(footsteps)
GK: ...and a sly "Man in a Closet."
(muffled voice talking)
GK: Also scheduled to appear, James "Bud" Romano doing his amazing chicken...
(cluck)
GK: ...his memorizing wind...
(wind sound)
GK: ...and his mighty duck.
(quack)
TK: And that's not the half of it, Garrison. William Williamson has promised to come on and recreate his legendary "Police Radio Dispatcher."
PD: (talking into cup) One Adam-12, one Adam-12, a 502 on Main Street and Elm. Please respond.
GK: I can't wait. And then, the grand old man of the business, Bently Haversham is coming out of retirement to do his world famous "Model T Starting Up."
(sputtering car noises)
TK: He was the master.
GK: And a very exciting first, a dueling sound effects challenge...
(few bars of "Dueling Banjos", a crash, "Dueling Banjos",
baying wolf, "Dueling Banjos," Train whistle, "Dueling
Banjos," a series of bangs, whistles, crows, whinny, motor
noises.)
GK: Yes, Tom Keith's All-Star Sound Effects benefit with more bangs...
(bangs)
GK: ...slams...
(door slam)
GK: ...and dogs...
(barking)
GK: Then you can shake a chicken at...
(wobbly clucking)
GK: Coming up on most of these Public Radio Stations.
end
