Sandy Beach
GK: This portion of the show is brought to you by Powder milk biscuits. They're bodacious and outrageous....that's not right. Who wrote this? Get the writer.
SB: Yes, Mr. Garrison?
GK: Which one are you?
SB: Sandy Beach.
GK: Really? I pictured you as taller.
SB: I get that a lot.
GK: What did you do with the Powdermilk copy?
SB: I do what I always do. Copy and paste it from last week's script.
GK: It says the biscuits are bodacious and outrageous.
SB: You mean they're not?
GK: Of course they are. But they're wholesome and nutritious.
SB: And pure mostly. I don't know what happened.
GK: I mean, really, do I look like a bodacious and outrageous spokesperson?
SB: A little around the eyes. Oh, wait, Bodacious and outrageous...that's from my screenplay that I'm working on. I must have been stuck in the memory.
GK: You're working on a screenplay?
SB: Yes, sir. I met some people in Hollywood and I pitched them this idea about two secret agents. They're named Bodacious and Outrageous.
GK: First or last names?
SB: First.
GK: I don't mind you working on screenplays on your spare time but I need you focused on the show.
SB: Sorry, sir. It's just that it was a great opportunity. And a chance to earn some serious bling-bling.
GK: Bling-bling.
SB: It's in the dictionary now. I can use it. Look it up. I need the money, sir. I have expenses and you pay me in tote bags.
GK: But they're very good tote bags.
SB: Oh, yes, they are. They're just not very tasty.
GK: All part of being a starving artist.
SB: I always thought that was a metaphor.
GK: It is. But I never met-a-phor I didn't like.
SB: Yes, sir. I've heard that about you.
GK: Really?
SB: Really. In fact someone scrawled it in the men's room.
GK: Well, any way, Sandy, I need you to focus on the job at hand. Especially after last time.
SB: What was that?
GK: That last skit was loaded with sight gags.
SB: So?
GK: This is radio. Sight gags really don't work.
SB: I'm just trying to push the envelope. Get cutting edge.
GK: There's nothing wrong with cutting edge. I love cutting edge. Didn't we just feature that motorcycle race...
(motorcycles rev)
GK: ...that leaped over the swimming pool of rabid puppies...
(yapping sounds)
SB: That was very envelope pushing, sir.
GK: ...and the light saber fight...
(humming, swishing noises)
GK: ...between dueling chickens...
(chicken noises)
GK: Which was broken up by a band of rouge Vikings.
(Nordic babbling)
GK: Who were then beaten back by a gaggle of geese...
(honking)
GK: ...armed with nothing but cans of whipped cream.
(squirting sounds)
GK: It doesn't get more, more---
SB: Bodacious and outrageous?
GK: Exactly. We have a lot of loyal listeners and we want to keep them entertained.
SB: Yes, sir.
GK: The audience is never wrong, Sandy.
SB: Yes, sir.
GK: So go back there and copy and paste us something great for the next part of the show.
SB: You bet, sir!
end