From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
A quick little commercial pun, from back in the day when Big Pharma was pushing patches for everything as a drug delivery system to work to fight smoking, pain, addiction, hunger. It didn't get picked and it's really not long enough to fuss over, so we'll just strand it here now, matey...
Pirate Patch
(PT: Pirate, CW: Co-Worker, AN: Announcer)
PT: Avast, ye hardies! Prepare to walk the plank!
CW: Bob, what are you doing?
PT: I'm about to go plundering, lass. Ahoy!
CW: Bob, the boss has been really upset about your pirate ways. It's distracting to the other workers.
PT: Aye, 'tis true. But it's an addiction, and a hard one to keelhaul.
CW: Maybe you should try this.
PT: What be that?
CW: It's the new Pirate Patch by Newco. Just apply the patch over your eye and you'll soon be able to leave your buccaneer ways behind you. For less than a doubloon a day.
PT: Well, shiver me timbers! I'll give it a try!
AN: And three months later....
CW: Hi, Bob, how are you feeling these days?
PT: Excellent. I'm more focused, have more energy and my rum consumption is way down.
CW: That's great, Bob.
PT: Thanks to Newco's Pirate Patch. Now, if I could only figure out what to do with this parrot.
(squawk)
AN: The Pirate Patch by Newco. Also available in brigand, bandit and robber baron strength.
end
PT: Avast, ye hardies! Prepare to walk the plank!
CW: Bob, what are you doing?
PT: I'm about to go plundering, lass. Ahoy!
CW: Bob, the boss has been really upset about your pirate ways. It's distracting to the other workers.
PT: Aye, 'tis true. But it's an addiction, and a hard one to keelhaul.
CW: Maybe you should try this.
PT: What be that?
CW: It's the new Pirate Patch by Newco. Just apply the patch over your eye and you'll soon be able to leave your buccaneer ways behind you. For less than a doubloon a day.
PT: Well, shiver me timbers! I'll give it a try!
AN: And three months later....
CW: Hi, Bob, how are you feeling these days?
PT: Excellent. I'm more focused, have more energy and my rum consumption is way down.
CW: That's great, Bob.
PT: Thanks to Newco's Pirate Patch. Now, if I could only figure out what to do with this parrot.
(squawk)
AN: The Pirate Patch by Newco. Also available in brigand, bandit and robber baron strength.
end
