From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
PHC did a special live show from the MN State Fair in 2004, two weeks before the season was to begin. State fairs mean foods and contests. While I'm not sure what triggered this sketch specifically, it is a typical "contrarian"-type sketch that I often wrote. Basically, it was take a simple premise, have someone defy it and attempt to act like it's fine. So, having a peach pie without peaches seems a no brainer. Tying the sketch to the season premiere seemed be a way to attract enough attention to get accepted. The show passed on it. It's still a fun little bit. We would try again in two weeks, when the season actually got under way.
Peach Pie
(GK, JD: Judge, MJ: Mrs. Johnson)
GK: We're going to cut away to the pie judging contest now.
JD: Frankly, Mrs. Johnson, this is the best peach pie I've ever tasted.
MJ: Why, thank you, judge.
JD: Flaky crust, golden brown. And the filling is so different. I normally don't care for peach pie, but I'm just loving this.
MJ: That's my secret ingredient.
JD: Well, it's just marvelous. What is this secret ingredient?
MJ: Apples.
JD: Apples? Apples mixed in with the peaches?
MJ: No, apples instead of peaches.
JD: Then that's an apple pie.
MJ: No, it's peach. I made a peach pie. It's a old family recipe.
JD: It doesn't have any peaches in it.
MJ: Egg creams don't have eggs or cream in it but it's still an egg cream.
JD: Fine. Now we were about to try your blueberry cobbler.
MJ: Here you go.
JD: Wow, it's it blue ribbon quality. This is great.
MJ: Another old family recipe.
JD: It's just a great blueberry cobbler. But it's not really very blue, is it?
MJ: That's because I use raspberries.
JD: What? How can you call it a blueberry cobbler?
MJ: Look at the top of my recipe.
JD: Grandma's blueberry cobbler. One pound raspberries...that's not right.
MJ: You calling my grandmother a liar?
JD: No, not at all.
MJ: You can better not. She was a great woman.
JD: I'm sure she was.
MJ: A great woman. And none of those allegations were proven.
JD: I was going to try the lemonade next.
MJ: Well, here then, try mine.
JD: That is tasty. What is the secret of this recipe?
MJ: Peppermint schnapps.
JD: Whatever. I'll just take the pitcher, thank you and good night.
end
GK: We're going to cut away to the pie judging contest now.
JD: Frankly, Mrs. Johnson, this is the best peach pie I've ever tasted.
MJ: Why, thank you, judge.
JD: Flaky crust, golden brown. And the filling is so different. I normally don't care for peach pie, but I'm just loving this.
MJ: That's my secret ingredient.
JD: Well, it's just marvelous. What is this secret ingredient?
MJ: Apples.
JD: Apples? Apples mixed in with the peaches?
MJ: No, apples instead of peaches.
JD: Then that's an apple pie.
MJ: No, it's peach. I made a peach pie. It's a old family recipe.
JD: It doesn't have any peaches in it.
MJ: Egg creams don't have eggs or cream in it but it's still an egg cream.
JD: Fine. Now we were about to try your blueberry cobbler.
MJ: Here you go.
JD: Wow, it's it blue ribbon quality. This is great.
MJ: Another old family recipe.
JD: It's just a great blueberry cobbler. But it's not really very blue, is it?
MJ: That's because I use raspberries.
JD: What? How can you call it a blueberry cobbler?
MJ: Look at the top of my recipe.
JD: Grandma's blueberry cobbler. One pound raspberries...that's not right.
MJ: You calling my grandmother a liar?
JD: No, not at all.
MJ: You can better not. She was a great woman.
JD: I'm sure she was.
MJ: A great woman. And none of those allegations were proven.
JD: I was going to try the lemonade next.
MJ: Well, here then, try mine.
JD: That is tasty. What is the secret of this recipe?
MJ: Peppermint schnapps.
JD: Whatever. I'll just take the pitcher, thank you and good night.
end
