Near State Insurance
GK: And now a word from our sponsor, Near State Insurance.
TR: Are your insurance premiums out of control?
SS: I'll say!
TR: Then come over to Near State Insurance. We'll be able to help you.
SS: Sounds good. What's your website?
TR: We don't have one of those high falutin' websites. We don't spend a fortune on fancy computers and we pass the savings onto you.
SS: Oh. Well, can I call your toll-free number?
TR: Are you kidding? You know how much those toll-free numbers cost? So, siree, we don't have toll-free numbers and we pass the savings onto you.
SS: And you'll be able to save me a lot of money?
TR: Mucho dinero.
TR: Si, because our company is staffed by many illegal Mexican immigrants who we pay ridiculously low wages.
SS: That doesn't seem fair.
TR: And we pass the savings onto you.
SS: Oh. Okay, then.
TR: Yes, we at Near State, by keeping operational costs low and using certain imaginative accounting practices, are able to offer our customers the lowest insurance rates on the planet. Call us weekdays between two and four and see if you don't agree.
SS: I'll do it.
OP: (recording)Welcome to Near State. Your call is very important to us, please hold until the next available customer service representative is available.
TR: Sure it'll probably take a while since we've only got the one guy manning the phone but the savings will be worth it.
GK: Near State Insurance, with rates so low, you know we're cutting corners somewhere.