My Really Big, Fat Greek Wedding
(GK, AR: Athina Roussel, PP: Poppa, TD: Tod, NK: Nicky, DA: Tod's Dad)
GK: Tonight, after the show, Public radio presents a special radio love story, "My Really Big, Fat Greek Wedding: the Athina Onassis Roussel Story."
AR: But poppa, I'm not sure I want to run the family business.
PP: You're Greek, of course you want to handle the family business. Is that a wart? Let me put some Windex on it.
GK: It's the story of a teenage girl with all the typical problems of being a teenage girl and Greek.
NK: Tod, I think you should meet my cousin, Athina. I think you'll hit it off.
TD: (very WASPy) I don't know, Nicky, what's she like? Is she pretty?
NK: Well, she's got a great personality. And 4 billion dollars.
TD: A great personality? She's fat, right?
NK: No. She's a fun person. And really nice. And she has a kabillion dollars.
TD: Oh, all right.
GK: My Really Big Fat Greek Wedding, a comedy of clashing cultures and tender moments.
TD: Hello, Athina. I brought you a gyro. I hear you people like those.
AR: Yes, we do.
TD: So, where are you from?
AT: I'm from the Skarpios island.
TD: Really? I'm from Rhode Island!
AT: I own Skarpios.
TD: We just rent. So your cousin Nicky said you inherited four billion dollars?
AR: that's not entirely true. I received two billion now, and I get the other two billion when I turn 21.
TD: Why'd they do that?
AR: I guess they didn't want to overwhelm me with a lot of money all at once.
GK: Of course, hi jinx ensue when the families meet.
DA: For their engagement we bought the lovely couple their very own car.
TD: Thank you, father.
PP: We bought the couple their very own country!
AR: Pappa! A country! I told you not to!
PP: It's a very small country. Now, a toast!
DA: Is this ozo?
PP: No, Windex. Drink up, it's good for you.
GK: But the road to happiness is not an easy one.
TD: I can't marry you, Athina.
AR: But why?
TD: It's the money,
AR: The money?
TD: Yes, there's too much of it. You see, I work for public radio, and I'm not use to handling large amounts of money.
AR: Oh, my kukla! I love you so much. We will buy your public radio and take it private and never worry of such things again!
TD: I love you, Athina.
GK: My Really Big Fat Greek Wedding, tonight on most of these Public Radio stations.