From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Working in lower Manhattan, people were still very security conscious. But it had gotten to ridiculous levels. Buildings all over NY had begone erecting stone and cement blocks in front of their buildings to prevent terrorist attacks. I should point out here that 9/11 was an air attack, so---? Some tried to make them look artful. Others had them designed as planters. Most just put out big cement blocks. I wasn't impressed, so I wrote a sketch. PHC wasn't impressed, they didn't use it. Maybe there could have been more to it, pad it out, do sound effects, but I was just going through the paces at this point (again).
And this was after the show was off the air for a month. My last sketch was submitted the end of February and here it was the end of March. You'd think I would have been chumping at the reins to get new material to them.
And this was after the show was off the air for a month. My last sketch was submitted the end of February and here it was the end of March. You'd think I would have been chumping at the reins to get new material to them.
Mock Barriers
ANNOUNCER: You see them all over town, those big blocks of cement in front of office buildings. The protective barriers that announce to the world, "Hey, my company's important enough to be considered a potential terrorist target."
MAN: Hey, my company isn't on any terrorist threat radar. But I want people to think my company is big and important, too!
ANNOUNCER: Then have we got a product for you! It's the Mock Barrier. It's a block of styrofoam that is shaped and painted to resemble a real sidewalk barrier.
MAN: Wow, it looks so realistic! But it's useless?
ANNOUNCER: Completely. A 5 year old hopped up on sugar with a tricycle could bust right through it. But your competitors won't know that. Mock Barriers help your office building say to the world "Bring it on!"
WOMAN: My family and friends thought I worked in a pointless and none essential job, but now they see I'm on the frontlines of our nation's safety and security, even though I'm a foreman at a pencil factory. Thanks, Mock Barriers!
GK: Mock Barriers are available at better barrier shops everywhere. Mock Barriers, when you really want the best mock barriers.
end
MAN: Hey, my company isn't on any terrorist threat radar. But I want people to think my company is big and important, too!
ANNOUNCER: Then have we got a product for you! It's the Mock Barrier. It's a block of styrofoam that is shaped and painted to resemble a real sidewalk barrier.
MAN: Wow, it looks so realistic! But it's useless?
ANNOUNCER: Completely. A 5 year old hopped up on sugar with a tricycle could bust right through it. But your competitors won't know that. Mock Barriers help your office building say to the world "Bring it on!"
WOMAN: My family and friends thought I worked in a pointless and none essential job, but now they see I'm on the frontlines of our nation's safety and security, even though I'm a foreman at a pencil factory. Thanks, Mock Barriers!
GK: Mock Barriers are available at better barrier shops everywhere. Mock Barriers, when you really want the best mock barriers.
end
