Life After Graduation
HS: Is there life after graduation? For centuries this question has baffled scientists, theologians and scholars alike. Not long ago most people believed there wasn't. Those who did believe took it on faith. Today these views are changing. To discuss this topic we have Dr. K.P. Bricabrac joining us. Welcome, Doctor.
KP: Thank you for having me.
HS: So, Doctor you have revealed startling new evidence of the existence of life after graduation.
KP: Oh, indeed. We have spent a lot of time looking at this "post diploma" syndrome. We call it "After-grads" or "extra-curricular life."
HS: But, by any other name, does it exist?
KP: Oh, yes. But even with this proof many people still won't believe. They feel graduation is a final end; What could possibly come after it?
HS: How do they cope?
KP: Many students, as they approach graduation begin to awake from their self-imposed stupors. This scares them. They have lived almost all their lives in this stupor, many as early as the first grade and now it's evaporating. Many try to continue their stupor, hence enrollment in graduate studies, but that's only delaying the inevitable.
HS: But what of life after graduation? What proof can you offer to relieve the fears of students?
KP: We have now documented cases of "out of school" experiences. Like this student here. Calvin Stubbs. His is a remarkable case. Yet typical of every tale of "after class" awareness.
HS: Thank you for joining us, Calvin. So what exactly happened to you?
CS: I've had several of these "out-of-school" experiences. Each one is identical to the other.
KP: Take us back to the beginning.
CS: There's all these people, man, in suit and ties. But first I'm in class and I start to nod off, you know, and then it's like I'm floating in the room, watching me sleep, you know? then like, I go downstairs and suddenly, you know, I'm downtown and like there's all these people, man. I get scared, wake up and class is over. It really blows my mind.
HS: Remarkable. And each time it's always the same?
CS: Always. Except for the one time I was attacked by a wheel of cheese. I don't know what that was about.
HS: What do you make of this, doctor?
KP: Hard to say. I have cases where students relate the feeling of standing in a tunnel and a source, or being, of light approaching them. I'm certain this shows a direct link with the concept of "commuting" on a "subway."
HS: Joining us now is Prof. Arnold Flebber. He has been studying the same cases working at the US Institute for the Study of Everything.
AF: A pleasure to be here.
HS: Now your team has done work with people who have returned to school after being legally declared graduated.
AF: Yes we have. Lots of work. For years there have been reports of people returning from beyond the classroom. We just knew this would provide us we information about collegiate interuptus.
AF: These returns or visitations, which we refer to as "re-unions" are usually dismissed as frivolous or corny. But today we are examining as a vital link to off campus contact. We have located and interviewed many off have been declared "clinically graduated." We've journeyed to many typical re-unions where people speak of things like "success," "responsibility", "sense of self-reliance and well being" and a "feeling of accomplishment," things alien to the average student. These things scare the pants off students. Many cannot doubt the existence of life after graduation but they refuse to accept it.
HS: How can they learn to deal?
KP: There's no quick fix. It's a large step for the student to accept graduation. They have to be conditioned to the process. We post flyers for gown rentals in attempts to focus the student's attention. We encourage them to use words like "sheepskin," "diploma," and "motor board." And we have to be able to recognize those who are ready.
AF: Oh, yes. Classic symptoms of acceptance are a desire to purchase a school ring and an urge to put together a resume.
KP: We note their facial expressions which teeter between relief and sheer terror.
AF: These are students we must help. They're ready to face the consequences but have no idea what they're up against. It's up to us to help them and prepare them for it.
HS: How can we help them?
KP: Hand out leaflets. Show films.
AF: Guided tours would be nice.
CS: So, can I, like, go back to class now?
HS: Oh, yes, of course, Calvin. And that about wraps up this look into Life After Graduation.