From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Another skit torn from the headlines! As the sketch itself explains, the Kroc family donated a lot of money to NPR. And what would PHC do with such a windfall? Why, blow it on expensive nonsense! Of course, they wouldn't really, but that's where the joke is. It's fun coming up with over-the-top bric-a-brac they'd waste their money on. It's a quick, funny bit, but it didn't make the cut.
Kroc of Gold
GK: Public radio had a wonderful windfall this week, as Joan Kroc, widow of Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's restaurants, left 200 million dollars to the network. She felt McDonald's and Public Radio had a lot in common, with over 1 billion served daily.
TR: Would you like some fries with that insight?
GK: It's meant a lot of immediate changes for us. For instance, we were now permitted to buy plane tickets to get here, instead of our usual method of travel, hitch hiking.
(car driving)
MA: So you work on the radio?
GK: Yes, I do.
MA: We have a lot in common.
GK: You work for radio?
MA: No, I hear voices in my head.
(horror music sting)
GK: We've been able to donate all our radio equipment to the Smithsonian Institute and purchase the latest, state-of-the-art solid-gold electronics.
SS: Yes, and you see that this transmitter has a diamond tweeter and a ruby woofer.
TR: Sweet!
GK: And we have the opportunity to upgrade and improve the show.
TR: You know, if we replace the microphones with video cameras, we could be a television show!
GK: The band has been able to get that wah-wah pedal they've hand their eyes on.
(guitar wah-wahs)
GK: We've also been able to re-launch the Prairie Home Helicopter, which is also solid-gold. So we have a bird's-eye view of the show. How's it looking up there, Brad?
(helicopter noise)
BD: Looking good, Mr. Keillor. Could you move a little to the right?
GK: You got it, Brad. Yes, it's a great time to be in public radio. Our gravy train has finally pulled into the station.
SS: You call this a dressing room! Where's the sparkling water on tap? Where are the green M&Ms? Where's the Japanese rock garden? My people will hear of this!
GK: That's right, we are now able to afford people. And of course, all employees of public radio get to super size their lunches for free.
SS: And now I can get that sandwich with cheese!
GK: We are very grateful to Joan Kroc and her estate, so tell them what they'll be receiving, Tim.
TR: We'll be sending them this really big tote bag.
GK: Public radio...eventually we'll get ours.
end
TR: Would you like some fries with that insight?
GK: It's meant a lot of immediate changes for us. For instance, we were now permitted to buy plane tickets to get here, instead of our usual method of travel, hitch hiking.
(car driving)
MA: So you work on the radio?
GK: Yes, I do.
MA: We have a lot in common.
GK: You work for radio?
MA: No, I hear voices in my head.
(horror music sting)
GK: We've been able to donate all our radio equipment to the Smithsonian Institute and purchase the latest, state-of-the-art solid-gold electronics.
SS: Yes, and you see that this transmitter has a diamond tweeter and a ruby woofer.
TR: Sweet!
GK: And we have the opportunity to upgrade and improve the show.
TR: You know, if we replace the microphones with video cameras, we could be a television show!
GK: The band has been able to get that wah-wah pedal they've hand their eyes on.
(guitar wah-wahs)
GK: We've also been able to re-launch the Prairie Home Helicopter, which is also solid-gold. So we have a bird's-eye view of the show. How's it looking up there, Brad?
(helicopter noise)
BD: Looking good, Mr. Keillor. Could you move a little to the right?
GK: You got it, Brad. Yes, it's a great time to be in public radio. Our gravy train has finally pulled into the station.
SS: You call this a dressing room! Where's the sparkling water on tap? Where are the green M&Ms? Where's the Japanese rock garden? My people will hear of this!
GK: That's right, we are now able to afford people. And of course, all employees of public radio get to super size their lunches for free.
SS: And now I can get that sandwich with cheese!
GK: We are very grateful to Joan Kroc and her estate, so tell them what they'll be receiving, Tim.
TR: We'll be sending them this really big tote bag.
GK: Public radio...eventually we'll get ours.
end
