WM: Where is he with that pizza?
MN: I called the pizzeria. They said he left over an hour ago.
WM: There where is he? Jim, have you put up the house numbers yet?
GW: Hello, America, I'm your president, George W. Bush. And I'm here to ask you, "Has this ever happened to you?" We Americans have become lax in posting and maintaining our home address numbers. And it can be serious.
C1: I can't find the house!
C2: We've been up and down this block twice. Ask that lady.
C1: Hey, lady, can you tell us where 18 Main Street is?
WM: You betcha. The numbers run up as you head towards Oak Street, and the numbers are even on the other side of the street...I think.
C2: Oh, forget it. Let's just get back to the police station so we can help someone we can actually find.
GW: Yes, it could happen. Happens to me all the time. But I've authorized the Department of Homeland Security to establish a program to get all home addresses properly displayed so it'll help make the homeland more secure. We're developing and issuing address numerals that are big enough and bright enough to be spotted by any emergency vehicle, government agency or the Chinese food delivery kid. This program will help us be more secure, better prepared, help grow the economy and find Saddam Hussein. I'm not sure how, but I've been assured that it will. House numbers, they're not just for the Post Office any more.
MN: Hey, the pizza's here!
WN: And it's piping hot!
MN: It was sure nice of those policemen to deliver it to us.
WN: Thanks to our Homeland Security House numerals!
GK: The Homeland Security House numbering system...take a number and get in line.
WN: But, wait a second, wouldn't that make it easier for the terrorists to find us?
GW: Hush up, you.