From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
This sketch is kind of interesting to me. Obviously, I took the premise I've used so many times before, the super-specific store that sells one thing. But the show was playing in Seattle this week and I did a twist on it. What if the guy who opened the store recognized his folly? What if, in the city of coffee shops and Starbucks, Hal thought he'd go all-in on a tea shop? I thought it really worked. And I love the tag line on it. But I'm the only one that thought so. Anyway, welcome to the House of Tea, steeped in desperation.
Hal's House of Tea
GK: ...and this portion of the show is brought to you by Hal's Seattle House of Tea.
DV: Hi, Seattle, his is Hal, of Hal's House of Tea. After a hard day at work, what would be better than a big cup of piping hot heat? Nothing, I say. And nothing else says "up and at 'em" quite like a brisk, morning cup and saucer of freshly steeped tea. Nothing at all. We have a whole assortment of teas from around the world and herbal teas as well. Hundreds of them imported at great expense. And tea's not just a beverage, many teas have medicinal uses as well. Did you know that? I'm guessing no. So come on by and have a cup of tea.
Our tea leaves are fresh and chopped by hand. By me. It's not like I've got anything else to do here. It helps pass the time, cutting tea leaves. Chop, chop, chop. So have some good old tea.
Hey, hot enough for you? Ha! Then cool off with some iced tea. It's delicious and refreshing. Is any other beverage as remotely as verstile as tea? No! None!
We just opened our new drive-thru window so you can fulfill all your tea needs and be on your way.
Come, have some tea. Please. I mean, you people are pretty much done with this whole "coffee" thing? Right? I mean, seriously, you can't walk a block without some "coffee shop" getting all in your face. You people have to be pretty much fed up with coffee by now, no?
You know, I sunk a lot of money into this concept. I'm into certain people for a big piece of change. I thought the coffee craze had peaked. I did. What was I thinking??? House of Tea, God save us all.
GK: Tea, it's not the same old grind. That's Hal's Seattle House of Tea, right across the street from Arnie's Cocoa King. Just look for store that oozes desperation.
end
DV: Hi, Seattle, his is Hal, of Hal's House of Tea. After a hard day at work, what would be better than a big cup of piping hot heat? Nothing, I say. And nothing else says "up and at 'em" quite like a brisk, morning cup and saucer of freshly steeped tea. Nothing at all. We have a whole assortment of teas from around the world and herbal teas as well. Hundreds of them imported at great expense. And tea's not just a beverage, many teas have medicinal uses as well. Did you know that? I'm guessing no. So come on by and have a cup of tea.
Our tea leaves are fresh and chopped by hand. By me. It's not like I've got anything else to do here. It helps pass the time, cutting tea leaves. Chop, chop, chop. So have some good old tea.
Hey, hot enough for you? Ha! Then cool off with some iced tea. It's delicious and refreshing. Is any other beverage as remotely as verstile as tea? No! None!
We just opened our new drive-thru window so you can fulfill all your tea needs and be on your way.
Come, have some tea. Please. I mean, you people are pretty much done with this whole "coffee" thing? Right? I mean, seriously, you can't walk a block without some "coffee shop" getting all in your face. You people have to be pretty much fed up with coffee by now, no?
You know, I sunk a lot of money into this concept. I'm into certain people for a big piece of change. I thought the coffee craze had peaked. I did. What was I thinking??? House of Tea, God save us all.
GK: Tea, it's not the same old grind. That's Hal's Seattle House of Tea, right across the street from Arnie's Cocoa King. Just look for store that oozes desperation.
end
