From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Well into 2005, I was still submitting, but to diminishing returns. This was an idea I came up with and made the rounds with. I thought it was cute. Obviously, it's not the most unique idea (as my google search later proved) but I came up with it a long time ago. It was kinda topical at the time because illegal immigration was a big George W. Bush campaign thing.
Any, to break my chronological order at bit, for today, we present...
Any, to break my chronological order at bit, for today, we present...
Cinco de Mayonnaise
GK: This portion of the show brought to you by Cinco de Mayo brand mayonnaise,
MAN: Honey, this sandwich is so bland. It’s, like, sucking the life force out of my soul.
WOMAN: Really? It’s the way I always make it.
MAN: I don’t know, since I hit 50, everything seems bland. Especially my sandwiches.
(Mexican music plays)
SPOKESMAN: What you need, amigo, is some Cinco de Mayo brand mayonnaise. It’s a spicy, creamy way to help your sandwiches commemorate the victory of the Mexican militia over the French army at The Battle Of Puebla in 1862. Here, try some.
MAN: Wow! That’s really good. It’s like there’s a fiesta in my mouth!
WOMAN: It’s tasty and historical.
MAN: It sure does the trick on my turkey sandwich.
SPOKESMAN: Si! Also try it on egg salad, tuna fish, or a nice taco.
WOMAN: I will. Gracis, Cinco de Mayo.
SPOKESMAN: Try Cinco de Mayo mayonnaise. Just look for the jar with the routed French soldiers on the label.
MAN: Routed French? I’d buy that!
GK: Cinco de Mayo, available at better supermarkets and boarder crossings everywhere.
end
GK: This portion of the show brought to you by Cinco de Mayo brand mayonnaise,
MAN: Honey, this sandwich is so bland. It’s, like, sucking the life force out of my soul.
WOMAN: Really? It’s the way I always make it.
MAN: I don’t know, since I hit 50, everything seems bland. Especially my sandwiches.
(Mexican music plays)
SPOKESMAN: What you need, amigo, is some Cinco de Mayo brand mayonnaise. It’s a spicy, creamy way to help your sandwiches commemorate the victory of the Mexican militia over the French army at The Battle Of Puebla in 1862. Here, try some.
MAN: Wow! That’s really good. It’s like there’s a fiesta in my mouth!
WOMAN: It’s tasty and historical.
MAN: It sure does the trick on my turkey sandwich.
SPOKESMAN: Si! Also try it on egg salad, tuna fish, or a nice taco.
WOMAN: I will. Gracis, Cinco de Mayo.
SPOKESMAN: Try Cinco de Mayo mayonnaise. Just look for the jar with the routed French soldiers on the label.
MAN: Routed French? I’d buy that!
GK: Cinco de Mayo, available at better supermarkets and boarder crossings everywhere.
end
