From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Again, I was always trying to find a way to get the gang at PHC to notice my stuff. I would try to submit to their running jokes but with a twist of my own to make it stand out. It rarely worked.
I don't know if it goes on today, but there was a time ketchup was also sold under the name catsup. Today, my spell check won't acknowledge the word. Anyway, it seemed like a goofy take to insert into PHC's Ketchup commercials. So, naturally, I wrote a song parody. The thing is, PHC didn't do a lot of song parodies. Sometimes I'm my worse enemy. But with having to come up with something each week to show them I was still alive, I couldn't afford to be too precious about what I was creating. If it was a solid idea and I could type it out, I would.
But it didn't get picked.
I don't know if it goes on today, but there was a time ketchup was also sold under the name catsup. Today, my spell check won't acknowledge the word. Anyway, it seemed like a goofy take to insert into PHC's Ketchup commercials. So, naturally, I wrote a song parody. The thing is, PHC didn't do a lot of song parodies. Sometimes I'm my worse enemy. But with having to come up with something each week to show them I was still alive, I couldn't afford to be too precious about what I was creating. If it was a solid idea and I could type it out, I would.
But it didn't get picked.
Catsup Advisory Board
(tune of "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off.")
Lunch has come to a pretty pass.
Our mealtime is growing flat!
For you like one or the other,
and I go for this or that!
Goodness knows what the end will be,
I don't know where I am at
It looks as if we two will never be one.
Something must be done...
You say ketchup and I say catsup.
Made from to-may-to or made from to-mah-to.
Ketchup, catsup,
I mean, what's up?
Let's call the whole thing off!
You put it on fries and I like it on chips.
Deep fried Po-tay-to or deep fried po-tah-to,
Po-tay-to, po-tah-to,
Ketchup, catsup
Let's call the whole thing off!
But oh, if we call the whole thing off,
then we must part.
Let's can the argument
for just a condiment.
So if you go for packets and I go for bottles,
I'll order packets and cancel my bottle.
For we know we
need each other so we
better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off!
GK: A special message of unity brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board and the American Federation of Catsup Makers.
RD: Ketchup.....ketchup....catsup.
end
Lunch has come to a pretty pass.
Our mealtime is growing flat!
For you like one or the other,
and I go for this or that!
Goodness knows what the end will be,
I don't know where I am at
It looks as if we two will never be one.
Something must be done...
You say ketchup and I say catsup.
Made from to-may-to or made from to-mah-to.
Ketchup, catsup,
I mean, what's up?
Let's call the whole thing off!
You put it on fries and I like it on chips.
Deep fried Po-tay-to or deep fried po-tah-to,
Po-tay-to, po-tah-to,
Ketchup, catsup
Let's call the whole thing off!
But oh, if we call the whole thing off,
then we must part.
Let's can the argument
for just a condiment.
So if you go for packets and I go for bottles,
I'll order packets and cancel my bottle.
For we know we
need each other so we
better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off!
GK: A special message of unity brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board and the American Federation of Catsup Makers.
RD: Ketchup.....ketchup....catsup.
end
