CAFE BOUEF: NRA Edition
TK: You what? You want a tour?
GK: No, bon jour.
TK: Bon Jovi is not here. You just missed him. Do you know him? You did not strike me as ze head-banger.
GK: No, no, I don't know Bon Jovi. But I could, you know.
TK: How you say, "whatever."
GK: I noticed you've made some changes here, Maurice. What is that all about?
TK: I have heard on the news that the NRA is opening up a theme restaurant in New York City. So I say, "sacre bleu!" We should do as they.
GK: You are following the lead of the NRA?
TK: Yes, the National Restaurant Association has been very good for us.
GK: Maurice, that's the National Rifle Association which is opening a restaurant.
TK: The National Rifle Association? What do they know about food?
GK: Fair question. I suppose they'll hire someone.
TK: You do? Where would one send a resume?
GK: I'm sure I wouldn't know. But you would consider leaving Cafe Bouef after you put in all this work?
TK: True. They are the competition now. I have developed my own theme restaurant here that will put them to shame.
GK: The NRA has no shame, Maurice.
TK: Welcome to Cafe Bouef & Sports Lodge. I shall bury this heavily armed upstart.
GK: The Cafe Bouef & Sports Lodge?
TK: Yes, a restaurant dedicated to the joys of well-regulated militia-style dining.
GK: I see. Sets my mouth to watering just thinking about it. So, what kind of food are you offering?
TK: We have this sizzling game meat.
GK: That smells pretty good. What is that?
TK: Bambi's mother.
GK: Oh. And that?
TK: A side order of "Old Yeller."
TK: We thought we had fresh rabbit, but that wascally wabbit got away again.
GK: Id-jit rabbit.
TK: Oui! And do not get me started on that daffy duck!
GK: I had no intention of going there.
TK: You'll notice the busboy's all wear side arms.
GK: I did, in fact, notice that.
TK: No more cleaning the dishes. See that plate in front of you?
GK: This one here? Yes.
TK: Throw it into the air.
GK: Like this?
(GUN SHOT,PLATE SMASH)
GK: Good shot.
TK: He's one of our best.
GK: And what's the reaction been?
TK: The customers are not too happy about it.
TK: No. But the waiters love it.
GK: Do they now?
TK: Can you imagine how much their tips have increased since we've armed them?
GK: There's a silver lining. What's that meal?
TK: Chicken. I shot him myself.
GK: Chicken isn't a game bird.
TK: I had to shoot him, he pulled a knife on me. Excuse me, a moment, I have to speak to one of my busboys. Claude! How many times do I have to tell you, the handgun goes on the right! The right!
GK: So each table has it's on weaponry?
TK: It allows our patrons to shoot at targets while they await their food. Makes the time pass faster.
GK: Well, actually I'm in the mood for fish. A nice fillet, perhaps.
TK: Very good. Here is your shotgun.
GK: Shotgun? What do I need a shotgun for?
TK: We take you right over here to our Fish Barrel and allow you to shoot your own trout.
GK: Seems easy enough. Maybe I'll just have a cheese sandwich---
TK: Henri! Release the cheese wheel! Lock and load, monsieur!
GK: Thank you, Maurice the Maitre'd, and thank you Cafe Bouef. Food of a higher caliber.