From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
There was a time when we could send presidents to England and not get embarrassed to death. But also, there was a time when we could send George W. Bush to England and hope for the best. He was there in November of 2003 and PHC had a great impression of him on the roster, so it was something I would pull out once in a while. With a weekly show and you have to look to the news for any idea to build a sketch around. It's a quick, goofy bit with the "Brits have different words for stuff" trope thrown in. Nothing too deep here, just playing W has a good-natured knucklehead. Didn't make the cut.
Bush in England
GK: And President Bush is visiting England, spreading the word and seeking inclusion...
GB: That's right, Keill-ster.
GK: Oh, you're with us now, Mr. President.
GB: All the time. All the time.
GK: So, how did you find Great Britain?
GB: I didn't. They just put me in a plane and took me there.
GK: That's an old joke, sir.
GB: It's an old country, Garry.
GK: All right, to re-phrase. What did you think of Great Britain?
GB: It was great. That's why they named it "Great" Britain, isn't it?
GK: Something along those lines. And you met the Queen.
GB: That's right. I nicknamed her "Queenie." I do that. Makes people feel like regular folk.
GK: But she's royalty.
GB: She pulls her pants on one leg at a time like everyone else.
GK: So, you got along well with her?
GB: Sure it. Turns out we have a lot in common.
GK: Like what?
GB: We both got our jobs through family connections.
GK: I see.
GB: And we both aren't understood when we're talking English.
GK: Really?
GB: Yeah. I couldn't understand her half the time, what with that accent. And all those funny words. Like TV. You know they don't call TV "TV" over there. They call it the "telly."
GK: I did know that.
GB: And they call elevators "lifts" and they call the trunk of your car a "boot" and they call Freedom Fries "chips." That's crazy. Then they call chips "crisps." They're nutty over there. It's no wonder we fought the Civil War to get rid of them.
GK: Did the war protests bother you?
GB: What can you do? It's just a bunch of malcontents there who don't like using war to solve our problems. They'll come around.
GK: Well, I appreciate you taking time out from your state visit to chat with us.
GB: Chat. That's another one of those British words.
GK: Quite.
end
GB: That's right, Keill-ster.
GK: Oh, you're with us now, Mr. President.
GB: All the time. All the time.
GK: So, how did you find Great Britain?
GB: I didn't. They just put me in a plane and took me there.
GK: That's an old joke, sir.
GB: It's an old country, Garry.
GK: All right, to re-phrase. What did you think of Great Britain?
GB: It was great. That's why they named it "Great" Britain, isn't it?
GK: Something along those lines. And you met the Queen.
GB: That's right. I nicknamed her "Queenie." I do that. Makes people feel like regular folk.
GK: But she's royalty.
GB: She pulls her pants on one leg at a time like everyone else.
GK: So, you got along well with her?
GB: Sure it. Turns out we have a lot in common.
GK: Like what?
GB: We both got our jobs through family connections.
GK: I see.
GB: And we both aren't understood when we're talking English.
GK: Really?
GB: Yeah. I couldn't understand her half the time, what with that accent. And all those funny words. Like TV. You know they don't call TV "TV" over there. They call it the "telly."
GK: I did know that.
GB: And they call elevators "lifts" and they call the trunk of your car a "boot" and they call Freedom Fries "chips." That's crazy. Then they call chips "crisps." They're nutty over there. It's no wonder we fought the Civil War to get rid of them.
GK: Did the war protests bother you?
GB: What can you do? It's just a bunch of malcontents there who don't like using war to solve our problems. They'll come around.
GK: Well, I appreciate you taking time out from your state visit to chat with us.
GB: Chat. That's another one of those British words.
GK: Quite.
end
