From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
The show was off on one of its road trips in December 2001, and, as usual, they liked to put together material for the host city. This week it was Buffalo and, well, I probably didn't feel like doing much, so I wrote a bit about Buffalo wings. It's one of my patented "lesser known" bits where I look at the earlier or later versions of something that would be more humorous than the actual item. Plus, I copied and pasted in the chicken wing stuff from Wikipedia, maybe. The show didn't go for it. I feel like I may have attempted to re-work it into another radio bit when I found out there was a "Nation Buffalo Wings" day. Here's the version that was submitted to PHC:
Buffalo Wings
GK: Of course, being in Buffalo means Buffalo wings. Anywhere else when you serve Buffalo wings, someone inevitably says:
TR: Buffalo wings? Buffalos don't have wings!
GK; No, they don't. These are chicken wings. Spicy chicken wings.
TR: Why are they called Buffalo wings?
GK: They were created in the city of Buffalo. Long ago, every part of the chicken was used to make a meal, with the chicken wings, back, and neck used to flavor soups and stocks. But in more modern times consumers began choosing their favorite parts -- usually breast, thigh, and leg portions -- with the rest of the parts going to soup factories. But then in 1964 at the Anchor Bar here in Buffalo that would change. For on a fateful Friday night, October 30, 1964, the owner of the Anchor Bar, Teressa Bellissimo, was faced with feeding her son and his friends a late snack. Have you ever had to feed a boy and his friends late at night? No easy task. She did use chicken wings for soup and stocks. She had an excess of wings on hand so she fried them up, dipped them in a buttered spicy chile sauce, and served them with celery and blue cheese dressing as a dipping sauce to cut the heat. The wings were an instant hit. It certainly sounds like a spontaneous creation, but like any great invention, they didn't just spring into existence all at once, there were many years of trials, misfires and failure until the right ingredients all converged. For instance, one day after working many hours in the kitchen, Teressa approached her son:
SS: Honey, try this, would you please?
TR: What is it, mom?
SS: A new dish I've been working on.
TR: Okay...Ewwww!
GK: And so went the Buffalo waffles. But she knew she was on the verge of a momentous creation and plowed onward.
SS: Hey, sweetie, try this. It's this great new snack I made.
TR: Snack? Okay....ewww
(spitting sounds)
GK: The Buffalo tollhouse cookies were not meant to be.
SS: Honey, want to try a scoop of my Buffalo ice cream?
TR: Get real, mom.
GK: There was the Buffalo bologna sandwich, Buffalo tofu, Buffalo spam and buffalo chips.
SS: Oh, you had to bring up the Buffalo chips.
GK: Sorry, just trying to be thorough. Finally it all came together. And so successful was that creation the city of Buffalo has designated July 29 as "Chicken Wing Day," Today, the Anchor Bar serves up more than 70 thousand pounds of chicken per month! Buffalo Wings; hot, spicy and exciting, just like the city itself.
SS: Wanna try this? Is something new I'm working on.
GK: What is it?
SS: Buffalo fudge.
GK: Thanks, no.
end
TR: Buffalo wings? Buffalos don't have wings!
GK; No, they don't. These are chicken wings. Spicy chicken wings.
TR: Why are they called Buffalo wings?
GK: They were created in the city of Buffalo. Long ago, every part of the chicken was used to make a meal, with the chicken wings, back, and neck used to flavor soups and stocks. But in more modern times consumers began choosing their favorite parts -- usually breast, thigh, and leg portions -- with the rest of the parts going to soup factories. But then in 1964 at the Anchor Bar here in Buffalo that would change. For on a fateful Friday night, October 30, 1964, the owner of the Anchor Bar, Teressa Bellissimo, was faced with feeding her son and his friends a late snack. Have you ever had to feed a boy and his friends late at night? No easy task. She did use chicken wings for soup and stocks. She had an excess of wings on hand so she fried them up, dipped them in a buttered spicy chile sauce, and served them with celery and blue cheese dressing as a dipping sauce to cut the heat. The wings were an instant hit. It certainly sounds like a spontaneous creation, but like any great invention, they didn't just spring into existence all at once, there were many years of trials, misfires and failure until the right ingredients all converged. For instance, one day after working many hours in the kitchen, Teressa approached her son:
SS: Honey, try this, would you please?
TR: What is it, mom?
SS: A new dish I've been working on.
TR: Okay...Ewwww!
GK: And so went the Buffalo waffles. But she knew she was on the verge of a momentous creation and plowed onward.
SS: Hey, sweetie, try this. It's this great new snack I made.
TR: Snack? Okay....ewww
(spitting sounds)
GK: The Buffalo tollhouse cookies were not meant to be.
SS: Honey, want to try a scoop of my Buffalo ice cream?
TR: Get real, mom.
GK: There was the Buffalo bologna sandwich, Buffalo tofu, Buffalo spam and buffalo chips.
SS: Oh, you had to bring up the Buffalo chips.
GK: Sorry, just trying to be thorough. Finally it all came together. And so successful was that creation the city of Buffalo has designated July 29 as "Chicken Wing Day," Today, the Anchor Bar serves up more than 70 thousand pounds of chicken per month! Buffalo Wings; hot, spicy and exciting, just like the city itself.
SS: Wanna try this? Is something new I'm working on.
GK: What is it?
SS: Buffalo fudge.
GK: Thanks, no.
end
