From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
The show always came into NYC every December. Without telling me. Anyway, so it was always a push to do holiday stuff and New York material. I like to think I did a decent balance of both, finally hitting the sweet spot with my "Yikes, Virginia" sketch. One of the sketches that didn't fly was Brooklyn Airlines (pun intended). Too embedded with stereotypes? Built solely on the use of the work "freakin"? Yes, yes it was. But what it lacks in subtlety is more than makes up for in brevity. But I would have killed to hear Garrison Keillor say that tag line.
Brooklyn Airlines
(GK, JD: Jimmy Delucca, AD: Angie Delucca)
GK: Tonight's program is brought to you by Brooklyn Airlines. And with us tonight is the president of Brooklyn Air, Jimmy Delucca. Mr. Delucca?
JD: Yo, this is Jimmy Delucca, here for Brooklyn Airlines announcing our new Freakin' Flyers Program. Here's how it freakin' works: You get on one of our freakin' planes and go any freakin' place you want. And we give you a freakin' certificate, And you can use it to get another freakin' flight that is abso-freakin'-lutely free! A free flight! Where to? What the freak do I care? But any-freakin'-where!
AD: Jimmy! What the freak you doin'?
JD: This is my little sister, Angie. She's my vice president.
AD: You givin' the freakin' store away!
JD: Shut the freak up! I'm trying to get some freakin' business here!
AD: I'm tellin' mom!
JD: Aw, geez, Angie, gimme a freakin' break here, I'm on the freakin' radio!
GK: Brooklyn Airlines, Are we the best? Freakin'-a.
the end
GK: Tonight's program is brought to you by Brooklyn Airlines. And with us tonight is the president of Brooklyn Air, Jimmy Delucca. Mr. Delucca?
JD: Yo, this is Jimmy Delucca, here for Brooklyn Airlines announcing our new Freakin' Flyers Program. Here's how it freakin' works: You get on one of our freakin' planes and go any freakin' place you want. And we give you a freakin' certificate, And you can use it to get another freakin' flight that is abso-freakin'-lutely free! A free flight! Where to? What the freak do I care? But any-freakin'-where!
AD: Jimmy! What the freak you doin'?
JD: This is my little sister, Angie. She's my vice president.
AD: You givin' the freakin' store away!
JD: Shut the freak up! I'm trying to get some freakin' business here!
AD: I'm tellin' mom!
JD: Aw, geez, Angie, gimme a freakin' break here, I'm on the freakin' radio!
GK: Brooklyn Airlines, Are we the best? Freakin'-a.
the end
