|Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large
From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
I had the Barney sketch waiting. I had written the season opener sketch and that was prepped. Then there was breaking news and I needed to write a quick sketch about it! A sketch torn from the headlines. Reporter Dan Rather got into a ton of trouble when he attempted to prove the George W. Bush dodged the draft during the Vietnam War. It had been rumored for years. Rather's group discovered a letter which seemed to prove that he got special treatment to join the state militia, which would keep him in the states. He presented it to the public. Then it turned out the letter was a fake. Someone sold Rather a bill of goods and he grabbed it. An on-air apology was deemed necessary. So, I took the idea that while he's apologizing for that, maybe there would be a couple of other things he needed to get off his chest. Thus begat this (rejected) sketch:
Dan Rather: This is the CBS News With Dan Rather. Before we begin, I have a couple of other things I needed to apologize for: First, 60 minutes is only 54 minutes. Why we continue to insist it's 60 minutes long, I don't know. I was misled. On behalf of CBS News, I apologize. Also, Andy Rooney died back in '96. We've been using CGI effects to keep the segment going. We probably should have mentioned that. Sorry. Oh, yes, and remember Meredith Vieira and Diane Sawyer when they were on 60 Minutes? Yeah, we fired them because we couldn't handle strong, independent women. Mike Wallace got really ticked off by them. Oh, and CBS News apologizes for letting Walter Cronkite go. That was major. I mean, really, none of us expected him to be still knocking around. So, we apologize for that, too. We'll be back with more news and apologies after this...
Freelance writer, still hacking away.