From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Another brief commercials parody. My writing style was getting tighter and briefer. It was a pun off a song title and that's about it. I was losing the ability to flesh out anything much. It wouldn't be until I started writing for TMI:Hollywood years later that I'd really stretch my sketch chops to get back to 5-minute or more skits. PHC passed on it, as did my other outlets. I'm not even sure I'd be able to create a sketch like this, mocking spinsters or engineered cats. Oh, well. We'll see if anyone notices it here.
ALLE-CAT
(SS, AN: ANNOUNCER, GK)
SS: (sneeze) I made a decision a long time ago that I was going to be my own woman. I didn't need a husband to make me complete. I concluded that having children only handicapped me in this man's world. So, now in my twilight years, as I yearn for affection, I find I'm allergic to cats! (sneeze) What do I do now?
AN: Adopt yourself an Alle-cat!
(Music: "Alley cat")
AN: It's the latest in genetically engineered pets. The Alle-cat has specialized fur that doesn't cause allergic reactions and skin that remains dandruff-free.
SS: (deep breath) Thank you, Alle-cat!
GK: Alle-cat, the specially bred, hypo-allergenic cat to help take the sneezing, congestion, runny nose and itchy eyes out of your spinster-hood. Now available at better pharmacies and pet shops everywhere.
End
SS: (sneeze) I made a decision a long time ago that I was going to be my own woman. I didn't need a husband to make me complete. I concluded that having children only handicapped me in this man's world. So, now in my twilight years, as I yearn for affection, I find I'm allergic to cats! (sneeze) What do I do now?
AN: Adopt yourself an Alle-cat!
(Music: "Alley cat")
AN: It's the latest in genetically engineered pets. The Alle-cat has specialized fur that doesn't cause allergic reactions and skin that remains dandruff-free.
SS: (deep breath) Thank you, Alle-cat!
GK: Alle-cat, the specially bred, hypo-allergenic cat to help take the sneezing, congestion, runny nose and itchy eyes out of your spinster-hood. Now available at better pharmacies and pet shops everywhere.
End
