From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
What an epic sketch this was. I hit every character, every callback, every cliche of a show celebrating an anniversary I could. Perhaps I was too much the outsider (EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME) for him to accept the idea of me submitting something like this. Maybe making fun of his bread & butter wasn't the wisest move. Maybe it was too pop-culture-y. Or worse, too dated pop-culture-y (Tiny Tim jokes? Really?) Maybe sending an incomplete sketch was undercutting myself...
Apparently there's a reel missing between PHC in Space and GK's finish. It looks like I was going to write something there, but it just goes from GK line to GK line.
I don't know how I forgot to put in sound effects jokes. The penguin joke is one GK told often on the show. The voice impressions were all regulars. It was a sketch that had to cover a lot of ground and I think it worked, but what do I know?
Apparently there's a reel missing between PHC in Space and GK's finish. It looks like I was going to write something there, but it just goes from GK line to GK line.
I don't know how I forgot to put in sound effects jokes. The penguin joke is one GK told often on the show. The voice impressions were all regulars. It was a sketch that had to cover a lot of ground and I think it worked, but what do I know?
30th Anniversary
(GK, X1: Executive 1, X2: Executive 2, SS, PR: Preacher,
TT: Tiny Tim, TR, JV: Jesse Ventura, CC: Carol Channing,
JC: Julia Child, GW: George W. Bush)
GK: As we approach our 30th anniversary, it's time to pause, reflect and celebrate. It seems like only yesterday it was 1974 and the nation was being torn apart by the fight over nuclear power...or was it disco? It's all a blur. But a rag-tag group of performers got together and pitch an idea for a show to radio executives.
X1: So, what's your take on this show?
GK: It'll be an eclectic array of storytelling, folksy humor, Americana, a broad range of musical talent and a killer penguin joke.
X2: I see. Which penguin joke is that?
GK: The first penguin says, "It looks like we're wearing tuxedos..."
X2: And the second penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?" I love that joke.
GK: And with that, "Garry Keillor's Get Happy Time Show" was on the air. Not that it wasn't rocky at first...
X1: Garrison, we've had some focus groups listening to the show.
GK: Focus groups?
X2: Groups we put together to try to focus our thinking.
GK: I see.
X1: And some comments were made.
GK: Yes?
X2: Have you ever considered mocking liberals?
GK: Heavens, no. I'm a card carrying tax & spend liberal. See, here's my card.
X1: (reading) "Tax and spend."
X2: Well, the focus group feels it's a good time to make fun of liberals. They are often ahead of the Bell Curve on that type of thing.
GK: I really don't see that happening.
X1: Could you make some poopy comments? Or do the show naked?
GK: The focus group asked for that?
X1: No, that's just a personal preference.
GK: I was thinking about sharing my tales about the people in my hometown.
X2: Where's that?
GK: Lake Woebegon.
X1: That sounds made-up.
GK: Well it isn't.
X1: So these hometown stories, that's in addition to the poopy comments?
GK: No, in lieu of.
GK: The show, of course, was re-jiggered a bit and relaunched as GK's Folktale Cafe on the Air, but it did feature stories of Lake Woebegon. Unfortunately, the stories were staged as Kabuki Theater.
(Japanese music, conversation)
GK: Then there were the rating stunts...
(gun shot)
SS: Oh my, who shot GK?
GK: And the wedding episode...
PR: Garrison, do you take Tiny Tim for your husband?
GK: I suppose.
PR: And Tiny Tim, do you....
TT: (singing) "Tip toe thru the tulips..."
GK: When those executives made the move to TV, it gave us the freedom to start shaping the show as we saw fit. And we were able to jettison the dance portion of the show.
SS: I love that song. It's got a really good beat and it's easy to dance to.
GK: And the part of the show where I took calls from listeners so I could hang up on them...
TR: Hi, this is Dave in Whiteberg. I'm a long time listener but a first time caller. And here's why you're completely wrong about the topic. One---
(click, dial tone)
GK: Until it became the broadcasting juggernaut you hear today. And we've gotten so many well wishers here, like Jesse Ventura...
JV: Just wanted to say congratulations on your anniversary and tell you I can still take you one-on-one.
GK: Carol Channing...
CC: Hello, Garrison, you're looking swell, Garrison. It's so nice to have you back where you belong.
GK: And Julia Child...
JC: Oh, many happy returns, people. You certainly have discovered the right recipe for entertaining the public...a lot of ham and cheese.
GK: And the president....
GW: Congratulations, Gar-meister, on the 30th anniversary of your show. I enjoy watching it every week. Even thought I can't get a clear picture, Uncle Dick and Connie both tell me it's a good show.
GK: And we're not resting on our laurels, no sir. We have brave new ideas to carry us into the future, new segments like the Robot Joke Show...
RB: A robot walks into a bar and says "Ouch."
GK: The Clone Talent show and Lake Woebegon in Space.
GK: So we thank you, our audience, for putting up with it all for the last 30 years and that you'll renew our option for the next 30.
end
TT: Tiny Tim, TR, JV: Jesse Ventura, CC: Carol Channing,
JC: Julia Child, GW: George W. Bush)
GK: As we approach our 30th anniversary, it's time to pause, reflect and celebrate. It seems like only yesterday it was 1974 and the nation was being torn apart by the fight over nuclear power...or was it disco? It's all a blur. But a rag-tag group of performers got together and pitch an idea for a show to radio executives.
X1: So, what's your take on this show?
GK: It'll be an eclectic array of storytelling, folksy humor, Americana, a broad range of musical talent and a killer penguin joke.
X2: I see. Which penguin joke is that?
GK: The first penguin says, "It looks like we're wearing tuxedos..."
X2: And the second penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?" I love that joke.
GK: And with that, "Garry Keillor's Get Happy Time Show" was on the air. Not that it wasn't rocky at first...
X1: Garrison, we've had some focus groups listening to the show.
GK: Focus groups?
X2: Groups we put together to try to focus our thinking.
GK: I see.
X1: And some comments were made.
GK: Yes?
X2: Have you ever considered mocking liberals?
GK: Heavens, no. I'm a card carrying tax & spend liberal. See, here's my card.
X1: (reading) "Tax and spend."
X2: Well, the focus group feels it's a good time to make fun of liberals. They are often ahead of the Bell Curve on that type of thing.
GK: I really don't see that happening.
X1: Could you make some poopy comments? Or do the show naked?
GK: The focus group asked for that?
X1: No, that's just a personal preference.
GK: I was thinking about sharing my tales about the people in my hometown.
X2: Where's that?
GK: Lake Woebegon.
X1: That sounds made-up.
GK: Well it isn't.
X1: So these hometown stories, that's in addition to the poopy comments?
GK: No, in lieu of.
GK: The show, of course, was re-jiggered a bit and relaunched as GK's Folktale Cafe on the Air, but it did feature stories of Lake Woebegon. Unfortunately, the stories were staged as Kabuki Theater.
(Japanese music, conversation)
GK: Then there were the rating stunts...
(gun shot)
SS: Oh my, who shot GK?
GK: And the wedding episode...
PR: Garrison, do you take Tiny Tim for your husband?
GK: I suppose.
PR: And Tiny Tim, do you....
TT: (singing) "Tip toe thru the tulips..."
GK: When those executives made the move to TV, it gave us the freedom to start shaping the show as we saw fit. And we were able to jettison the dance portion of the show.
SS: I love that song. It's got a really good beat and it's easy to dance to.
GK: And the part of the show where I took calls from listeners so I could hang up on them...
TR: Hi, this is Dave in Whiteberg. I'm a long time listener but a first time caller. And here's why you're completely wrong about the topic. One---
(click, dial tone)
GK: Until it became the broadcasting juggernaut you hear today. And we've gotten so many well wishers here, like Jesse Ventura...
JV: Just wanted to say congratulations on your anniversary and tell you I can still take you one-on-one.
GK: Carol Channing...
CC: Hello, Garrison, you're looking swell, Garrison. It's so nice to have you back where you belong.
GK: And Julia Child...
JC: Oh, many happy returns, people. You certainly have discovered the right recipe for entertaining the public...a lot of ham and cheese.
GK: And the president....
GW: Congratulations, Gar-meister, on the 30th anniversary of your show. I enjoy watching it every week. Even thought I can't get a clear picture, Uncle Dick and Connie both tell me it's a good show.
GK: And we're not resting on our laurels, no sir. We have brave new ideas to carry us into the future, new segments like the Robot Joke Show...
RB: A robot walks into a bar and says "Ouch."
GK: The Clone Talent show and Lake Woebegon in Space.
GK: So we thank you, our audience, for putting up with it all for the last 30 years and that you'll renew our option for the next 30.
end
