This are the jokes that didn't make it through the transom at Newsbusters.org:
The New York Post reported that the number of shootings in New York City have increased 154% since the beginning of the Occupy Wall Street protests because police are pulling their resources out of high priority areas to patrol the protests. In related news, the consumption of soy, quiche and hemp products has increased 1025% since the beginning of Occupy Wall Street---
The New York Post reported that the number of shootings in New York City have increased 154% since the beginning of the Occupy Wall Street protests because police are pulling their resources out of high priority areas to patrol the protests. In related news, the consumption of soy, quiche and hemp products has increased 1025% since the beginning of Occupy Wall Street---
CNN's Howard Kurtz on Sunday mocked Fox News’ decision to hire of sex scandal plagued former governor Mark Sanford. When they could have hired someone really sleazy, like Elliot Spitzer.
Crown Publishers announced that Michelle Obama is writing about her White House produce garden says it will be called “American Grown…”
…as opposed to the usual moans and groans.
…or ”How to raise vegetables when you can’t raise your poll numbers.”
It’s now been revealed that Libyan rebels beat Kaddafi bloody and sodomized him with a stick before shooting him in the head and chest…
…so, that’s one less virgin.
…better luck next time, Mommar.
...and here we thought he was beloved.
Michele Norris, a co-host of the popular NPR program, "All Things Considered" is temporarily stepping down from the show, as her husband has accepted a position with the Obama 2012 campaign…
…well, at least that’s one person off the government’s payroll.
…which means she’ll be back in November of 2012.
The economy remains sluggish after another series of bad news. In fact, the economy is so bad the Treasury Dept. has called in the directors of Netflix to help out.
In an interview for Empire magazine, Steven Spielberg says that he didn’t want aliens in “Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” He said it was George Lucas’s idea. Sure, because alien movies just never work out for Spielberg.
The government of China has ordered China’s 34 satellite TV stations to dramatically cut back on programs that it considers to be vulgar or “overly entertaining…”
…Bad news for the new show “The Real Housewives of Beijing.”
…bad news for the producers of “The Jersey Shore.” But good news for the new Tim Allen show.
…because who wants to be overly entertained?
…tough luck, Simpsons.
Occupy Wall Street protesters in New York are saying that packs of brazen crooks within their ranks have been robbing their fellow demonstrators of pricey cameras, phones and laptops…
…wow. I bet they wish they had been nicer to the cops now.
…well, there’s re-distribution of wealth and then there’s re-distribution of wealth.
Kitchen staffers at Occupy Wall Street are now serving only brown rice instead of the full meals because of the number of homeless people and ex-cons who are masquerading as protestors to get free food…
…yeah, it’s not so fun when the socialism is on the other foot.
…what are they complaining about? It’s just re-distribution of their wealth.
…imagine that, the homeless getting to eat the same food as people who are sitting around in a park.
US marine Sergeant Shamar Thomas says police brutality at the Occupy Wall Street protests in New York is worse than the violence in Iraq; not counting the bombings, the shootings and the jihads.
Iranian workers staged a rally at the Swiss embassy in Tehran to support Occupy Wall Street movement in the US. This is in preparation of their “Occupy Iraq” movement which will begin early in 2012.
Madonna's iconic black bustier from her 1987 “Who's That Girl?” Tour was auctioned off for $72,000…
…and that includes Madonna.
…which is amazing since its condition was nowhere near mint.
A new study from the University of Vermont found that adolescents who drink lots of soda are more apt to be involved in violence. Then how come every time my brother asked me if I wanted a Hawaiian Punch he’d hit me?
A billboard in California paid for by an atheist group features an unflattering quote about Christianity attributed to Thomas Jefferson. But the local paper’s research shows there's no evidence that Jefferson ever said the words. Wow, if atheists can’t belief the Internet, what can they believe in?
At a San Francisco fundraiser President Obama admitted that it’s not as trendy to be an Obama supporter as it was back in 2008 when he was the new thing. Right, because now he actually has a record to be dissatisfied with.
Omar Sharif slapped a woman who she cut in line for a photograph with him at a film festival in Qatar. While the press in the West has been shocked, in Qatar the headline read, “Hometown boy makes good.”
Muslim students at Catholic University are suing the college saying the crosses and religious symbols on campus are offensive and inappropriate. No word yet on what they were expecting to find at a university named “Catholic.”
An Associated Press analysis found President Obama has lost millions of dollars in support from former donors in Democratic strongholds and districts that he won narrowly four years ago. Mainly because most of America has lost millions of dollars.
According to a new poll, only 42% correctly identified Mitt Romney as a Mormon. I’m not surprised. Obama had an insane Christian preacher and everyone thought he was Muslim.
Redbox video announced it was raising rates, but added it would soon be adding streaming video to its services. Of course, you’ll have to stand in front of the 7-11 to watch it.
Crown Publishers announced that Michelle Obama is writing about her White House produce garden says it will be called “American Grown…”
…as opposed to the usual moans and groans.
…or ”How to raise vegetables when you can’t raise your poll numbers.”
It’s now been revealed that Libyan rebels beat Kaddafi bloody and sodomized him with a stick before shooting him in the head and chest…
…so, that’s one less virgin.
…better luck next time, Mommar.
...and here we thought he was beloved.
Michele Norris, a co-host of the popular NPR program, "All Things Considered" is temporarily stepping down from the show, as her husband has accepted a position with the Obama 2012 campaign…
…well, at least that’s one person off the government’s payroll.
…which means she’ll be back in November of 2012.
The economy remains sluggish after another series of bad news. In fact, the economy is so bad the Treasury Dept. has called in the directors of Netflix to help out.
In an interview for Empire magazine, Steven Spielberg says that he didn’t want aliens in “Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” He said it was George Lucas’s idea. Sure, because alien movies just never work out for Spielberg.
The government of China has ordered China’s 34 satellite TV stations to dramatically cut back on programs that it considers to be vulgar or “overly entertaining…”
…Bad news for the new show “The Real Housewives of Beijing.”
…bad news for the producers of “The Jersey Shore.” But good news for the new Tim Allen show.
…because who wants to be overly entertained?
…tough luck, Simpsons.
Occupy Wall Street protesters in New York are saying that packs of brazen crooks within their ranks have been robbing their fellow demonstrators of pricey cameras, phones and laptops…
…wow. I bet they wish they had been nicer to the cops now.
…well, there’s re-distribution of wealth and then there’s re-distribution of wealth.
Kitchen staffers at Occupy Wall Street are now serving only brown rice instead of the full meals because of the number of homeless people and ex-cons who are masquerading as protestors to get free food…
…yeah, it’s not so fun when the socialism is on the other foot.
…what are they complaining about? It’s just re-distribution of their wealth.
…imagine that, the homeless getting to eat the same food as people who are sitting around in a park.
US marine Sergeant Shamar Thomas says police brutality at the Occupy Wall Street protests in New York is worse than the violence in Iraq; not counting the bombings, the shootings and the jihads.
Iranian workers staged a rally at the Swiss embassy in Tehran to support Occupy Wall Street movement in the US. This is in preparation of their “Occupy Iraq” movement which will begin early in 2012.
Madonna's iconic black bustier from her 1987 “Who's That Girl?” Tour was auctioned off for $72,000…
…and that includes Madonna.
…which is amazing since its condition was nowhere near mint.
A new study from the University of Vermont found that adolescents who drink lots of soda are more apt to be involved in violence. Then how come every time my brother asked me if I wanted a Hawaiian Punch he’d hit me?
A billboard in California paid for by an atheist group features an unflattering quote about Christianity attributed to Thomas Jefferson. But the local paper’s research shows there's no evidence that Jefferson ever said the words. Wow, if atheists can’t belief the Internet, what can they believe in?
At a San Francisco fundraiser President Obama admitted that it’s not as trendy to be an Obama supporter as it was back in 2008 when he was the new thing. Right, because now he actually has a record to be dissatisfied with.
Omar Sharif slapped a woman who she cut in line for a photograph with him at a film festival in Qatar. While the press in the West has been shocked, in Qatar the headline read, “Hometown boy makes good.”
Muslim students at Catholic University are suing the college saying the crosses and religious symbols on campus are offensive and inappropriate. No word yet on what they were expecting to find at a university named “Catholic.”
An Associated Press analysis found President Obama has lost millions of dollars in support from former donors in Democratic strongholds and districts that he won narrowly four years ago. Mainly because most of America has lost millions of dollars.
According to a new poll, only 42% correctly identified Mitt Romney as a Mormon. I’m not surprised. Obama had an insane Christian preacher and everyone thought he was Muslim.
Redbox video announced it was raising rates, but added it would soon be adding streaming video to its services. Of course, you’ll have to stand in front of the 7-11 to watch it.
