By Dan Fiorella & John Rawlins
GK: The program tonight is brought to you by Pseudo-photos.
SS: ...and here's a picture of Jimmy's first sleigh ride.
TR: Have you seen these pictures I took at Uncle Fred's wake?
TK : Oh, how nice! Here's a flash picture of my Annie developing her first roll of film.
(Ooooos and Aaaahs abound)
SS: Gee, Quincy, what's got you down?
TR: Gosh, Mabel, I don't have any family or friends, so when I see other people taking out their wallets and showing their snapshots to each other, I feel so left out I just want to move into a cave and stay there forever!
SS: I know what you mean, Quince. I used to feel that way myself until I discovered Pseudo-photos.
SS: That's right, Pseudo-photos from Ersatz Incorporated. They're a complete set of bogus family photos. Here, let me take out my wallet and show you a few.
TR: Gee, this one looks exactly like someone's bar-mitzvah! And this looks like a high school graduation!
SS: And let's not forget the office Christmas party.
TR: But Mabel, you're unemployed!
SS: How's anyone to know, thanks to these nifty Pseudo-photos? By using the latest in digital computer technology, whenever someone inundates me with their family snapshots, I simply strike back with my patented Pseudo-photos by Ersatz.
TR: Gee, I'm going to buy some Pseudo-photos as soon as I get home!
GK: And at the next party---
SS: Hey there handsome, want to see some pictures?
TR: Sure. I have some too! Boy, I'm glad I got my Pseudo-photos.
SS: Here's a picture of my Uncle Ben catching a foul ball at the soccer game.
TK: Hey, here's a picture of my Uncle Ben catching a foul ball at the soccer game.
TR: Uh, I don't suppose either of you want to see a picture of my Uncle Ben catching a foul ball at the soccer game?
I guess that means we're all related.
GK: Pseudo-photos by Ersatz. More people are using them than you think. Pick up your starter set today! Sets start at $57.95 for average family with 2.3 children.