My scripts presently available:
The Men From S.W.A.K.
The adventures of a pair of cut-rate spies who get assigned to protect an Olympic swimmer with a store sponsorship and end up battling communists out to destroy the world games. It’s a blue-light special version of James Bond.
Retail merchandising is a jungle. Competition is fierce. Industrial espionage is rampant. That is why Thriftmart Department Stores, Inc. established its ultra-secret organization, S.W.A.K. When danger lurks nearby and an economic threat is perceived, they send out their two top agents to handle it. If they're not available, they send out Speed Markup and Flippy Visto.
But things are not as they seem. The head of S*W*A*K has died. His replacement, the new M-1, has been handed a most important case; protecting an Olympic swimmer. The store has signed her to a long-term sponsorship contract. They want to make sure that a certain entrepreneur, who owns casinos, theme parks and water shows, doesn't steal her away, ruining her amateur standing. And for some reason, M-1 puts his two worse agents on the case, Markup and Visto.
They cross paths with the entrepreneur, Brick Sharktoon, in Atlantic City, where they manage to disrupt a serious game of roulette and prevent him from signing the swimmer. While there, they team up with an agent from the upscale Hummingdale's Dept. Store, Blossom St. James. To discover how a former Olympic skier managed to avoid Brick's clutches, they head off to the Alps, after a wild chase on the NJ Turnpike.
Once in the Alps, the usual skiing mayhem ensues, they run into a femme-fatal, Cinnamon Parfait, who attempts to kill Visto & Markup at a fancy costume ball. Oddly, she fails, but not without causing a ruckus. With St. James following a clue, the SWAK agents head off to the games (here, in Athens). The swimmer is kidnapped. The boys locate her in an pie factory owned by Sharktoon. Sharktoon captures the team and straps them into a pie wagon, off to deliver pies to the Olympic village. But there's a bomb onboard. Turns out Sharktoon is working for the communists, and wants to destroy the games and blame the rampant corporate sponsorships. Visto & Markup manage to thwart the plan and blow up the pie factory instead.
The swimmer gets to compete and it seems the day is saved. Until they report back to headquarters and discover that the new M-1 is, in fact, a mole for the bad guys. He's been pulling the strings and attempting to set up the team to fail. This leads to a wild chase through the Thriftmart Store, where every type of merchandise is use to fight off the villains.
"The Men from S.W.A.K." is a wild send-up of the spy genre on a blue-light level. Its bumbling duo stumble and stammer into and out of various predicaments with barely a clue but, fortunately, with some fancy hi-tech gear (flying umbrellas, bio-rhythm detectors, magnetic beam fountain pens, backpack balloons with bow tie propellers and the like) along with a lot of dumb luck.
Retail merchandising is a jungle. Competition is fierce. Industrial espionage is rampant. That is why Thriftmart Department Stores, Inc. established its ultra-secret organization, S.W.A.K. When danger lurks nearby and an economic threat is perceived, they send out their two top agents to handle it. If they're not available, they send out Speed Markup and Flippy Visto.
But things are not as they seem. The head of S*W*A*K has died. His replacement, the new M-1, has been handed a most important case; protecting an Olympic swimmer. The store has signed her to a long-term sponsorship contract. They want to make sure that a certain entrepreneur, who owns casinos, theme parks and water shows, doesn't steal her away, ruining her amateur standing. And for some reason, M-1 puts his two worse agents on the case, Markup and Visto.
They cross paths with the entrepreneur, Brick Sharktoon, in Atlantic City, where they manage to disrupt a serious game of roulette and prevent him from signing the swimmer. While there, they team up with an agent from the upscale Hummingdale's Dept. Store, Blossom St. James. To discover how a former Olympic skier managed to avoid Brick's clutches, they head off to the Alps, after a wild chase on the NJ Turnpike.
Once in the Alps, the usual skiing mayhem ensues, they run into a femme-fatal, Cinnamon Parfait, who attempts to kill Visto & Markup at a fancy costume ball. Oddly, she fails, but not without causing a ruckus. With St. James following a clue, the SWAK agents head off to the games (here, in Athens). The swimmer is kidnapped. The boys locate her in an pie factory owned by Sharktoon. Sharktoon captures the team and straps them into a pie wagon, off to deliver pies to the Olympic village. But there's a bomb onboard. Turns out Sharktoon is working for the communists, and wants to destroy the games and blame the rampant corporate sponsorships. Visto & Markup manage to thwart the plan and blow up the pie factory instead.
The swimmer gets to compete and it seems the day is saved. Until they report back to headquarters and discover that the new M-1 is, in fact, a mole for the bad guys. He's been pulling the strings and attempting to set up the team to fail. This leads to a wild chase through the Thriftmart Store, where every type of merchandise is use to fight off the villains.
"The Men from S.W.A.K." is a wild send-up of the spy genre on a blue-light level. Its bumbling duo stumble and stammer into and out of various predicaments with barely a clue but, fortunately, with some fancy hi-tech gear (flying umbrellas, bio-rhythm detectors, magnetic beam fountain pens, backpack balloons with bow tie propellers and the like) along with a lot of dumb luck.
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