From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... I feel like I wrote and sent this to PHC on a dare. There was no way in Noel that Keillor would allow a parody of Ted and Ted's Excellent Adventure on air. Talk about out of his wheelhouse. But I had the title kicking around for quite some time (I even used it here). But now a sketch was written and had to be sent somewhere...
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From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Before Trump got "elected," it was pretty much agreed that Bush 2 was the worse president (the fact that Trump hates George W. makes us pretty sure Trump knows this, too). George was an easy target and PHC had "him" on multiple times over the years. In fact, my last produced sketch was a Bush bit earlier in 2004). So, with Christmas coming and the Great Recession in full swing, it was time to combine the two for this sketch. Didn't make it, even though it would have killed in NYC. George XmasFrom 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... PHC's annual holiday stay in the city of New York was always bittersweet to me. I knew I could right hometown-centric pieces but I also knew there would be no acknowledgment that the show was in my hometown. No invite to see the show. No free passes. No chance to meet the cast I had written material for. My opportunities were dwindling here and even if I had a sudden burst of creative energy, there was little chance it would make a difference. Communication was a one-way street. I submitted things by emailing them into a void. No responses ever. Not even to direct questions. Going into (what would be my final Christmas season with the show) reminds me of an incident that happed a few years earlier. I had a small publisher once interested in my manuscript Lost Claus. Spoke to him on the phone. He liked the book. But he liked the idea that I worked on PHC. Would GK have me on the show to talk about the book. And silly mean gave him an honest answer, "No." I mention how little interaction I had with the staff at PHC. I mean, I once asked him about hosting or presenting at the Writers Guild Award show and got no response. I was blunt with the publisher about my experience with PHC. And I never heard from that publisher again. Granted the only reason he contacted me was to try and use me to get on PHC, so when that wasn't an option, I was useless to him. Anyway, the holidays were here. The show was here, so I went with a silly joke about the Christmas tree and the Ronco Clapper. It's a fine little black-out bit, even if it was trying to do a sight gag on the radio. They passed. Rockefeller CenterFrom 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Another brief commercials parody. My writing style was getting tighter and briefer. It was a pun off a song title and that's about it. I was losing the ability to flesh out anything much. It wouldn't be until I started writing for TMI:Hollywood years later that I'd really stretch my sketch chops to get back to 5-minute or more skits. PHC passed on it, as did my other outlets. I'm not even sure I'd be able to create a sketch like this, mocking spinsters or engineered cats. Oh, well. We'll see if anyone notices it here. ALLE-CATFrom 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... A quick little commercial pun, from back in the day when Big Pharma was pushing patches for everything as a drug delivery system to work to fight smoking, pain, addiction, hunger. It didn't get picked and it's really not long enough to fuss over, so we'll just strand it here now, matey... Pirate PatchFrom 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... This is for November, but it sure was inspired by Halloween and watching horror movies. What if you could harass the power of the angry mob for good instead of mobbery? That's what I thought I would explore in this sketch. It didn't pass muster. Or Munsters, for that matter. Rent a Mob
From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Bob Dylan releases a book. Audio books are becoming a thing. One of the cast of PHC does Dylan and has done him several times. What more natural than a sketch about Dylan reading his own book? I'm sure others came up with it, maybe. I mean, PHC didn't use it. But I took it and submitted to All Star Network. They produced it. I mean, that's what keeps me going; sometimes the no you get isn't the only opinion out there. The next guy could be a yes.
Dylan Reads DylanFrom 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... So, for Halloween, I did a copy and paste; a bunch of quick ideas that were kicking around or used for prose, I pulled together for this series of brief commercials featuring lessor known horror movies. I worked them into other things, and heck, I may again, because these could be really spooky tales! They passed, so here it is: Halloween HorrorsFrom 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Come the end of October, I was bouncing between political stuff and Halloween stuff. In one of those rare moments this late in the game, I came up with 2 sketches for the last show in October. This is the political one. What kind of commercial would you put out there if you were running for Dogcatcher in that time of going negative in ads, with a slight hint of 9/11 patriotism. Although it wasn't selected, I thought it would go something like this: Dogcatcher (GK, TK, HB: Harold Baker) GK: We'll return after this paid political message. TK: There are dogs in the woods. David Markem says he can catch them. But based on his record, how do we know he can? This town needs a dogcatcher it can trust. Can we go back to the old pre-9/11 ways of catching dogs? Some of those dogs could be rabid. Some of the dogs could even be dingos. But with David Markem as dogcatcher, how will we ever know? We need dogs caught. And when we catch them, we need to put them down. We need Harold Baker. Vote for Harold Baker for dogcatcher. Don't vote for David Markem. I repeat, do not, under any circumstances, vote for David Markem. HB: I'm Harold Baker and I approved this message. end From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Another cute, quick piece, combining food and politics. The election was getting over bearing and any way to mock it was welcomed relief. And we'd need a lot of relief back then. But this sketch wound up in the "leftovers" pile for another day. Political Diet |
Dan FiorellaFreelance writer, still hacking away. Archives
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