Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site. I'll be honest, I had a rough week. We had multiple root canals (the same tooth, done multiple times) and other at-home duties, so I didn't get into the game until late, and managed to get a couple posted, but only a couple made the cut. Plus, the WH site has me on some sort of restricted access to the article, so I didn't get to see the whole list. I hope you can! Enjoy:
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From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Vladimir Putin, what ever happened to him? Back in 2005, he was the leader of Russia and its young democracy. It was a tough time for Russia, so Putin came up with a novel idea; stay president for life by holding bogus elections. Sure, he paid lip service to the concept helping spread freedom, but his heart wasn't in it. I decided to write up something, then this title popped into my head. It became a song parody, which is a risky thing to submit. Sure, I got "The 12 Days of Christmas" up, but nothing else. They did the song parodies occasionally, so it wasn't an unheard of concept, but in my waning days, I was throwing everything I had, whenever an idea presented itself, at PHC. This one didn't stick either. Putin's on the FritzSo we stumbled across an entertaining show on streaming, The Artful Dodger. I had heard nothing about this series from 2023. Not a peep. It was very good. But it triggered a memory from 1987. It was one of the first times I got involved with a aspiring producer who was looking to break into the business. I forget how I came upon him, probably an ad in one of the trade papers or the Village Voice. He had people coming up for interviews to a rehearsal hall. He said he had been working on Broadway and touring shows. One of the shows was Oliver! It was during this time he thought of the idea of a sequel. It would be about Fagin and his life after the events of Oliver Twist. And it would be a television series. I wasn't knocked out by the idea, but I was always looking for my big break, so I said I would have a crack at it. I wouldn't get a handle on it until I did a "cold open" kinda mocking the entire idea of the show...which was this: Fagin is arrested for his crimes. He's about to be sentenced when a lawyer enters representing Mr. Brownlow, the guardian of Oliver Twist. Oliver has gotten Brownlow to promise to help the less fortunate, show he's establishing a home for wayward boys. And the plan is to get Fagin to oversee the home. The Artful Dodger comes along as well. Re-reading the script for this blog, outside of my opening scene (and only a few lines of that), I remember none of it. I had forgotten the premise, the characters, everything. As for that opening part, there are two minor characters in court, awaiting the judge's arrival. They bemoan the bowdlerized production of “MacBeth” they saw recently. They lament that people shouldn't mess about with "the classics." This was my entry into the script. When the aspiring producer pitched the idea to me, internally I was rolling my eyes. A TV series as a spin-off to Oliver Twist seemed like a dodgy idea (pun intended). This opening dialogue was me hanging a hat on the issue. There were people always messing about with the classics and here’s me doing it, too. Frankly, it freed me up to turn out a 45 page script. Rereading it, I can’t tell if it’s bad or not. I kinda recognize my voice here and there. But I don’t have any notes or break-downs of characters or plots. The whole thing is out of my wheelhouse yet it is mine. I have no recollection of who gave me the plot, or synopsis. Was I following an outline? Cast of characters? A bible of any kind? Don't know. This is the pilot, and there are nods to Oliver Twist, his uncle Mr. Brownlow. Mr. & Mrs. Bumble are introduced as foils for Fagin. Bett from the bar is there. And, in a cliff hanger episode closing scene, Hank “Blood” Sikes (Bill’s evil twin, as I called him) appears. Again, I have no notes on this. What was going to happen next? Beats me. In two different scenes during the first half, Fagin breaks into lyrics. Was I writing songs for this? Was it expected? Was it going to be a musical? Did I have a tune to scan for them? ‘tis a mystery. This was all done on my first word processor, AtariWriter, which is all packed away. With the script, I found a letter from the High Step’n Talent Agency confirming the receipt of the script and copies of release forms. I haven’t come across my signed copy. I vaguely remember communication with them over time, but can’t remember when it all fell through. In those days, maybe it didn’t fall through, it probably just faded away from lack of interest. That’s one of my big faults, is letting things slide away. If no one is contacting me about my work, I rarely have the nerve to contact them. And if they don’t contact me, they tend to fade from my memory. Now here’s the thing…I don’t know if I’m combining memories here, but I think the same producer wanted to try something else as well, a “update” of Bye, Bye, Birdie. Which, needless to say, I did as well. But that's a story for another day. Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site. Almost missed the boat on this one. I got very tied up with some things and before you knew it, it was 2 hours into the hashtag game. I had to hustle to get up a dozen or so. I tried looking up a list of common drugs, then I just pulled up a list of famous robots. It was kinda easier to go in from that direction. Despite my late start, I got some good ones in. Although I don't know if my computer screen keeps resetting or if they posted a couple of duped entries. I mean, all medicines sound alike, so I guess that was unavoidable...
From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Here I'm stealing from myself. I had written a script about a less-than-stellar trip we to Wisconsin. It was a natural for a script; a bunch of native New Yorkers go to Wisconsin for a wedding. A real fish-out-of-water story. Most of the script was based on actual events, including a trip to the cheese shop. We had time to kill, the hotel was connected, physically connected, to the mall, so we decided to check it out. And there we came upon a cheese shop. There was a culture gap between that way we in New York talk about cheese and the rest of the world. New Yorkers use Italian words that Italy doesn't even use. It was a brief stop, but enough occurred that it inspired this scene in my screenplay. As I often did, when I was low on ideas, I'd pull something out of the files and dust it off and make it pretty. It remains a short bit, but with my habit of writing odd store sketches, it seemed to be a natural. And like the many shop sketches before, it was rejected. Hedda's Cheese ShoppeRemember back in December 2019 when the biggest news was Trump's campaign posting (on purpose) a video where Trump was photoshopped onto the body of Thanos from Avengers: Endgame destroying everyone. Me, neither, until I turned up this bit I wrote and submitted around. Wow, the idea of Trump being responsible for the deaths of a lot a people was just a far-off dream for him back then. And this was on the heels of him submitting a "Build the Wall"-Game of Thrones meme, which neglected to mention the wall there was useless, too. So, for 2024, the gang got together and posted on May 4th, 2024, a meme of Trump holding a red lightsaber. Apparently no one told the gang the Sith, the bad guys, use the red ones. I updated my old bit and submitted it to Weekly Humorist and they published it on their site! Check it out: How did I not call this the Trump Meme Team?
The Florida Radio Project just posted their production of my script "The Nick Files: Author in the First." They did a great book with this adaption of my book (which you can buy here).
What happens when a mystery writer blows into town and the bodies start piling up? Nick Flebber has to throw the book at the killer! Check it out! From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... You all remember George W. Bush, right? He was the former holder of the title "Worst President" until present circumstances happened. I mean, he didn't seem like a bad guy, but he never struck anyone as the sharpest crayon in the box. He always looked like he was in over his head, and the fact that his vice president, the self-appointed Dick Cheney, seemed to be running the show didn't help that impression. Also, he supported terrible policies, but had sense enough to not to push too hard. He allowed a terrorist attack but then signed a big corporate tax cut and that seemed to even things out. He had a folksy charm and was in the habit of handing out nicknames to members of the press. This is a short sketch, practically a black out, where I just took that sole idea and ran with it. PHC did to political humor and W was one of his running targets. Cast member Tim Russell did a good impression of W and he often popped up in bits. I occasionally submitted Bush skits, so I kind of figured this might give me a leg up on getting picked. It did not. Bush Press ConferenceWeekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site. I find the bluest I work is doing these hashtag games. I am not a car guy, either. But I manage to submit enough double entendres to get 6 into the finals here. I had to pull up a list of car makers and models, but a bunch came out of thin air, so I was productive. Well, as productive as a hashtag game can be. Check it out:
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Dan FiorellaFreelance writer, still hacking away. Archives
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