Blog Posts - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - Get Undepressed (Mar. 2003)

3/11/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

-This is a quick tossed off commercial parody that's a bit depressing. Medicine commercial parodies have been around forever. I even did one for Cracked magazine. Frankly, I was probably in the dumps when I wrote this. I'm shocked I actually bothered to put a fake med at the end and didn't just leave it as a lecture about how lousy your life is and of course you're depressed. It didn't get used and no one else picked it up. Again, the premise is a clam and the joke delivery system is a trope as well, so I can't say I was much surprised by its rejection. Fortunately, I had Happitol to get me through it.

Get Undepressed

Gi60 1-Minute Play Festival- "Countdown to Love"

3/10/2022

I'm finally getting around to posting the video of the production of my 1-minute version of "Countdown to Love" aka "Countdown to Valentines" aka "The CPHCCVDMF." This is from October, 2021.

I really liked the original version of the script that I had written for "TMI: Hollywood" years earlier. It didn't get used there. I turned it into a monologue for my friend's annual Valentine's Day night of monologues for the following year and, as luck would have it, that year she didn't do it. Then I reconnected with a group of friends from my "Pen to Stage" days on Facebook. They announced they were accepting short works for their annual night of 1-minute plays. They have been doing it for years, and I was not really aware of it. So, I pulled out the short monologue, re-inserted the cable TV executive and, ta-da, "Countdown to Love."

Because of the pandemic, I didn't attend in person, but I streamed it live at home. It was an eclectic night of material. Towards the end of the show, my piece came up, and it was perfectly cast. Two of my old Pen-to-Stage cohorts, Joan Lunoe and Mickey Ryan were cast in it. When I dropped a note to the director, Rose Bonczek, also from Pen-to-Stage, to thank her and compliment the job she did and the casting, she told me "how could I not cast them!" It was like old times!

Here, for your brief viewing pleasure is "Countdown to Love."

Barely Home Companion - The Adventures of the Code Orange Squad (Feb. 2003)

2/25/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I was disappointed this sketch didn't make it to air. We were coming up to the midterm elections, with the presidential elections after that. The Bush White House then came up with a plan to handle it. Every time there was good news or exceptional polling for the Democrats, the White House would suddenly declare a "Code Orange" to freak everyone out. After 9/11, the administration put together a chart with levels of alert the population should maintain. It ranged from "Go about your business" to "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!" And every time things would calm down, some bad news would come out about the Republicans and suddenly we were on maximum alert to wipe it out of the news cycle. It was insane and infuriating. And so blatant. And it worked every time. I wanted to call them out on it, in my own little way. This is what came of that.

The Adventures of the Code Orange Squad

Barely Home Companion - My Really Big, Fat Greek Wedding (Feb. 2003)

2/18/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Forgot about this one. Apparently, the richest girl in the world got married in 2003 and I combined it with My Big, Fat Greek Wedding. Not too much more to it than that. A pop-culture/news sketch was a risky deal with PHC, but I thought the NPR joke at the end might appeal to GK and the gang. It didn't.

My Really Big, Fat Greek Wedding

A Dog's Life & Death

2/13/2022

This'll be a long post because I can't bring myself to write a short one...

We lost Niko, the canine member of our family. He was 12 and developed a tumor on his liver. Outside of some arthritis, he was acting fine until the last 36 hours of his life. He was a beautiful collie/shepherd mix. I used to tell people he got by on his looks. He was a calm, friendly dog unless you were a delivery guy coming up the front walk, then you would think he was a rabid wolf.

I grew up with dogs in the house, but Niko was my first dog as an adult. My wife was afraid of dogs growing up, then became used to them, from being at my family's house. But never what you would call a “dog person.” She remained reluctant to give in to the kids...

Barely Home Companion - Road to Miami (Feb. 2003)

2/11/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

PHC was doing one of its remote shows, setting up shop in Miami. I had driven from NY to Orlando with kids and that seemed like a perfectly logical premise to build a sketch around. So I took a series of jokes and thoughts I had about the long drive and Florida and assembled them into a bit. I thought it was cute and a cool way to open the show, but what do I know. They didn't use it. I later re-worked it as a prose piece and did get it publish in the Staten Island Advance, but I'll be darned if I can find the old link or a copy of it in my scrapbook. Very unnerving. Yet, there it is, up on my header page above. I'm starting to wonder if my memories really exist at this point...

Road to Miami

Barely Home Companion - Near State Insurance (Jan '03)

1/28/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is just one of those brief bits I wrote, kinda built around a "catch phrase." With insurances companies trying to undersell each other, it seemed ripe for parody. E-insurance companies were becoming a thing that presented themselves as a way to save money since they didn't have the over-head of traditional companies, what with their brick & mortar buildings, phones and desks. They just needed a website and a cubicle full of outsourced operators (they've since been bought up by the brick & mortar companies). Just a silly piece of fun that PHC didn't pick up...

Near State Insurance

Barely Home Companion - New Sound Effects (Jan 2003)

1/21/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

2003 got off to a late start and there were only two January shows. I went with one of my go-to pieces, sound effects, to mark the new year. I referenced a lot of current events under the W. Bush administration in this short piece, some of which I can't recall. I liked playing around with the sound effects, but I wonder if the show thought I was parodying them and not just playing around with the format. They didn't use the sketch and I had no real way of knowing the reason for the rejection (as per usual). And, again, not a sketch that could be repurposed elsewhere. So, straight from the archives comes...

New Sound Effects

R.I.P. John Rawlins.

1/13/2022

I received some sad news recently. John Rawlins, an old college buddy and frequent co-writer, passed away last month. They posted his obituary here.

When I transferred to NYU for my junior year of college, I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do...or rather admit to myself what I wanted to do. I wanted to write. But in my neighborhood writing wasn't considered a valid career. I went to the student advisor, to try to figure out what I needed to do to get to write. He really didn't have much to tell me, but he did pull out a flyer advertising a meeting looking to form a new student organization, a college humor magazine, and said maybe I should check it out. I did. And with that, I had found my college tribe. I've written about the Plague before. It really was a important time for me.

Barely Home Companion - American Plumbing Foundation 2 (Dec. 2002)

12/27/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This one has me baffled. It's a sequel to something, but I thought this was the only plumber association skit I wrote? I scrolled back in the blog and can't find one. I guess this is just what happens at my age, you write sequels to sketches you never wrote. It was something I had kicking around the hard drive and pulled out it out for the holiday season (?). I didn't even bother to mention holiday meals to tie into the season. I totally get why they didn't use this one.

American Plumbing Foundation 2

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