(ETA: Naturally, I reread the scripts today [the first time in 40 years] to discover they song I wrote for "The Ax" was a different song to the tune of "My Darling Clementine." Adjustments will be made and those lyrics added below. Now I'm starting to wonder how many of my other GR memories are wrong?)
So, my first assignment as a GR writer was the episode "The Ax (no "e")" So the description tells me that miner finds a buried monster. Now, this being a western, I simply assumed that a "miner" meant "prospector." That seems like a logical assumption, no? So I created a character right of 1849, the old west prospector and named him Ol' Roy. Now, it being an outer space series, I had to make Roy "high tech." That meant giving him a pack animal, a robotic pack animal, Burr0-5000. I gave him a laser pick axe, a digital divining rod, a space shovel, all that stuff. But I also had to give him an old-timey Western-style ballard to sing while he mines. I'm not a song writer, but I have written my fair share of song parodies. I pulled up the tune "My Daring Clementine" and updated the lyrics to the future, which I'm sure Walt Disney would have done in the "GE Carousel of Progress" if he didn't have the Sherman Brothers.
I tried to capture the style of "My Darling Clementine", "Oh, Susanna" and "She'll be Coming 'Round the Mountain When She Comes," which often had silly and jokey lyrics. That's why they were hits. So, I wrote it with a ton of space puns.
When it came time to write "Boomtown" (which was originally called "Gold Rush") I wanted to repeat the bit with the song, only this time I choose to do "Oh, Susanna." I wrote a couple of stanzas that open up the scenes. After all was said and done, I for some reason wrote more lyrics. I honestly don't remember if I created it all while doing the episode on a lark, or would pocket it for later episodes featuring Old Roy, which was pretty gutsy on my part, since I didn't know if I'd be invited back or there would be future Old Roy episodes. I got lucky, Old Roy became a continuing character in this universe, and even in an episode NOT written by me.
So, my first assignment as a GR writer was the episode "The Ax (no "e")" So the description tells me that miner finds a buried monster. Now, this being a western, I simply assumed that a "miner" meant "prospector." That seems like a logical assumption, no? So I created a character right of 1849, the old west prospector and named him Ol' Roy. Now, it being an outer space series, I had to make Roy "high tech." That meant giving him a pack animal, a robotic pack animal, Burr0-5000. I gave him a laser pick axe, a digital divining rod, a space shovel, all that stuff. But I also had to give him an old-timey Western-style ballard to sing while he mines. I'm not a song writer, but I have written my fair share of song parodies. I pulled up the tune "My Daring Clementine" and updated the lyrics to the future, which I'm sure Walt Disney would have done in the "GE Carousel of Progress" if he didn't have the Sherman Brothers.
I tried to capture the style of "My Darling Clementine", "Oh, Susanna" and "She'll be Coming 'Round the Mountain When She Comes," which often had silly and jokey lyrics. That's why they were hits. So, I wrote it with a ton of space puns.
When it came time to write "Boomtown" (which was originally called "Gold Rush") I wanted to repeat the bit with the song, only this time I choose to do "Oh, Susanna." I wrote a couple of stanzas that open up the scenes. After all was said and done, I for some reason wrote more lyrics. I honestly don't remember if I created it all while doing the episode on a lark, or would pocket it for later episodes featuring Old Roy, which was pretty gutsy on my part, since I didn't know if I'd be invited back or there would be future Old Roy episodes. I got lucky, Old Roy became a continuing character in this universe, and even in an episode NOT written by me.
Anyway, the lyrics have been posted here and there along the internet by fans of the show, which is lucky, because I couldn't find the file. I did, weirdly, find my handwritten version of it, *shrug*.
The Ballad of Ol' Roy
(sung to the tune of “Oh, Susanna)
Entered a space contest and
much to my surprise
won a trip to see the stars,
The constellation prize.
The sun shone bright the day we left
and everything got hot
but that's the way it's always been;
A sun can't change its spots.
Oh Tortuna
Oh don't you cry for us.
We're gonna make our fortune soon,
Utopia or bust.
The Red giants did light our way
and white dwarves made our trail
Tightened up our as'troid belt
Caught a comet by the tail.
The cosmic dust, it made us sneeze,
The Big Bang made us cringe
Got wet in mete-or showers
And dried in solar winds,
(Refrain)
The Milky Way was curdled
and the Big Dipper got bent
Flew into a black hole and
returned before we went.
Gonna travel to the sun
for a historic flight
We'll be okay, we won't burn up,
We're going there at night.
(Refrain)
Ran rings 'round Saturn but
Jumpin' Jupiter took thrust
The planet Mars made us see red
and Uranus made us blush.
We're gonna take a lunar trip
in our big fancy jet
Come along and join us
and be a space cadet.
(Refrain)
much to my surprise
won a trip to see the stars,
The constellation prize.
The sun shone bright the day we left
and everything got hot
but that's the way it's always been;
A sun can't change its spots.
Oh Tortuna
Oh don't you cry for us.
We're gonna make our fortune soon,
Utopia or bust.
The Red giants did light our way
and white dwarves made our trail
Tightened up our as'troid belt
Caught a comet by the tail.
The cosmic dust, it made us sneeze,
The Big Bang made us cringe
Got wet in mete-or showers
And dried in solar winds,
(Refrain)
The Milky Way was curdled
and the Big Dipper got bent
Flew into a black hole and
returned before we went.
Gonna travel to the sun
for a historic flight
We'll be okay, we won't burn up,
We're going there at night.
(Refrain)
Ran rings 'round Saturn but
Jumpin' Jupiter took thrust
The planet Mars made us see red
and Uranus made us blush.
We're gonna take a lunar trip
in our big fancy jet
Come along and join us
and be a space cadet.
(Refrain)
Bonus: Lyrics to "My Darling X2-9"
(sung to the tune of "My Darling Clementine")
(As written for "The Ax."
Oh my darlin',
oh my darlin',
oh my darlin' X2-9,
You went down and purged forever,
Blessed sorrow, X2-9.
In my program, on my hard disc,
Waitin' to come up on line,
Came a blackout, which did knock out,
My darlin' X2-9
(Refrain
It was portable and user friendly,
And its diodes where just fine,
'til a hacker went and whacked'er
Oh, my darlin' X-2
Oh my darlin',
oh my darlin',
oh my darlin' X2-9,
You went down and purged forever,
Blessed sorrow, X2-9.
Oh my darlin',
oh my darlin',
oh my darlin' X2-9,
You went down and purged forever,
Blessed sorrow, X2-9.
In my program, on my hard disc,
Waitin' to come up on line,
Came a blackout, which did knock out,
My darlin' X2-9
(Refrain
It was portable and user friendly,
And its diodes where just fine,
'til a hacker went and whacked'er
Oh, my darlin' X-2
Oh my darlin',
oh my darlin',
oh my darlin' X2-9,
You went down and purged forever,
Blessed sorrow, X2-9.
