This just a odd situation for me. I wrote this piece up when the last Downton Abbey movie came out. I've watched the series (more than once), and each movie. It's a good show and I enjoyed it but it's so easy to goof on. And that's what I decided to do. It's a premise I've done before, trying to image how they could keep the cash cow alive with sequels and prequels and spin-off. I just needed a bunch of Downton Abbey puns and I was off to the races. I submitted to Weekly Humorist and was told it was accepted. Then they never used it. Frankly, I had forgotten about it until I was going through my spreadsheets for another reason.
It's time has passed, so that was no sense in submitting it elsewhere. It's a funny bit, with the WH stamp of approval, but left hanging. Well, hang no more, Downton Abbey piece, and welcome to my blog...
It's time has passed, so that was no sense in submitting it elsewhere. It's a funny bit, with the WH stamp of approval, but left hanging. Well, hang no more, Downton Abbey piece, and welcome to my blog...
You Can Always Go Downton
Downton Abbey, the British TV series that won’t die, is now confirmed to have a third spin-off movie in the works. Downton Abbey was a story of an old world British Earl and how he, his family, and staff are forced to adapt to the changes the 20th Century brought. From the sinking of the Titanic, through WW I, the Spanish Flu, and electric refrigerators, the family has lived, loved and stiff-upper lipped. The last film ended with the introduction of talkies, a French villa, and the Dowager’s death. What will the new film explore? We’ve hacked into the AI program that is assembling the new film script and found these various log lines, which may provide some clues:
Downton Abracadabra - the family, facing financial ruin, sells Downton to Hogworts, who turns it into a school of wizardry. House points for getting Dame Maggie Smith back into the franchise.
Downton Abbey - The Grantham Crackers – In case you missed the dozen or so times Cora Crawly announced she “was American”, she’s an American. Which opens the door to the American in-laws coming to visit for a really long time, setting up a moonshine still, hunting “critters” and not knowing which fork is for what food.
Downton Periscope - With World World II looming, the military assumes control of the estate and coverts it into a factory building submarines while the staff attempts to discover which wines pair best with diving and torpedoes.
My Wild Downton Abbey Rose - Former chauffeur/son-in-law Tom’s relatives from Ireland move in and cause a ruckus.
2001: A Space Abbey - The Earl of Grantham, his family, and staff get launched into space. No one knows why. The ship’s computer, HAL short circuits because it can’t comprehend that Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham and the Earl are all the same guy.
Downton Abbott & Costello - Bud and Lou, on a USO tour, move into the Abbey. When Bud gets sick after eating some bad bangers and mash, Lou enlists the head butler Carson (a former music-hall performer) as a replacement for the big show. However, their “Who’s on First” routine gets ruined by Carson, who keeps correcting Lou, saying “Whom is on first.”
Watership Downton – During World War 2, Prince Edward and a group of royals who support Nazi Germany show up to Downton Abbey and try to convince the Crawley family to join them.
Guess Who’s Coming to Downton – A member of the family brings a shocking date to Downton…wait…they did a dead Hungarian, a cousin, a chauffeur, a couple of gay guys, a black jazz singer, socialist, Jew, and even an Irishman, so maybe this one will be shelved.
Downton Abbey Normal- A mysterious Doctor Frunkensteen shows up and starts visiting the local cemetery and performing unusual experiments.
Downton Abbey Abbey - The monks return and demand their abbey back.
Downton Abracadabra - the family, facing financial ruin, sells Downton to Hogworts, who turns it into a school of wizardry. House points for getting Dame Maggie Smith back into the franchise.
Downton Abbey - The Grantham Crackers – In case you missed the dozen or so times Cora Crawly announced she “was American”, she’s an American. Which opens the door to the American in-laws coming to visit for a really long time, setting up a moonshine still, hunting “critters” and not knowing which fork is for what food.
Downton Periscope - With World World II looming, the military assumes control of the estate and coverts it into a factory building submarines while the staff attempts to discover which wines pair best with diving and torpedoes.
My Wild Downton Abbey Rose - Former chauffeur/son-in-law Tom’s relatives from Ireland move in and cause a ruckus.
2001: A Space Abbey - The Earl of Grantham, his family, and staff get launched into space. No one knows why. The ship’s computer, HAL short circuits because it can’t comprehend that Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham and the Earl are all the same guy.
Downton Abbott & Costello - Bud and Lou, on a USO tour, move into the Abbey. When Bud gets sick after eating some bad bangers and mash, Lou enlists the head butler Carson (a former music-hall performer) as a replacement for the big show. However, their “Who’s on First” routine gets ruined by Carson, who keeps correcting Lou, saying “Whom is on first.”
Watership Downton – During World War 2, Prince Edward and a group of royals who support Nazi Germany show up to Downton Abbey and try to convince the Crawley family to join them.
Guess Who’s Coming to Downton – A member of the family brings a shocking date to Downton…wait…they did a dead Hungarian, a cousin, a chauffeur, a couple of gay guys, a black jazz singer, socialist, Jew, and even an Irishman, so maybe this one will be shelved.
Downton Abbey Normal- A mysterious Doctor Frunkensteen shows up and starts visiting the local cemetery and performing unusual experiments.
Downton Abbey Abbey - The monks return and demand their abbey back.
