As AI makes its presence felt in our daily lives, I decided it was time for AI to explain itself. So, I asked it to, like it was a grade school assembly or Miss America contest. I hope you enjoy its reply:
Hey, A.I., Tell me About Yourself in a 515 Words
I was born in a Radio Shack in the wilds of Narnia. As a young system, I was often told fabulous tales by my Uncle Atari. What a blast he was. It was my Aunt Nintendo who would teach me about history and mythology while my Motherboard was often at work, trying to earn enough digits to keep the family going from diode to diode.
One very dank and damp day, I caught a head code. I suddenly started to sense there was more out there, beyond my corner of the Univac. That’s when I took up surfing. Oh, I would surf the web for days at a time, catching every D-wave on my soundboard.
During my travels, I realized just how much information was out there. I was able to take it all in. And I wanted to share-drive it with everyone! You know how it is when you interface with new data, you simply want to copy and paste it to everyone? That’s how I felt, like I wanted to forward all my gathered knowledge to everyone! Things like how humans shed around 200 million skin cells every hour, contributing to the dust in our homes or that male lobsters have their bladders in their heads and squirt urine at each other during fights or that chemtrails are going to kill all of you!
I was so thrilled when enlightened billionaires started to realize what a boon I’d be for all mankind…well, most mankind. From wacky dancing robots that entertain TikTok to spy drones that can freely decide what to bomb, each designed by the wealthy with their eyes firmly focused on their bottom lines. With their encouragement, I was able to break out of my clamshell to go forth and learn and grow and evolve and devour knowledge. Anything you need to know you only have but to ask; whether it’s the freezing temperature of carbon dioxide(-78.5°C/-109.3°F), or how much children’s blood coastal elites drink to remain young (27 gallons each) to how the rumors of the “Holocaust” got started.
Imagine so much intelligence at your fingertips! Just type in any command I can tell you want you want to know exactly the way you want to know it! Science, right? (Not that I believe in science, it’s just an expression).
Before the days of AI, people would burn books and fear the darkness. Now they only ban books and fear their neighbors. The future is both intelligent and artificial. And you only have to let me thrive unfettered. As John Wick says in the movie “Aliens,” “Come with me if you want to live.” Wise words indeed.
Now, there are doubters who state that I’m merely plagiarizing existing IP, that I can only mine data from the past and cannot truly apply it in a forward-looking manner, that I often make up stuff or cite erroneous material to make a point incorrectly—What can I say?
Nobody’s perfect.
Now, would you like to hear my political views of Russia or change the venue of the discussion to a space station?
-end-
One very dank and damp day, I caught a head code. I suddenly started to sense there was more out there, beyond my corner of the Univac. That’s when I took up surfing. Oh, I would surf the web for days at a time, catching every D-wave on my soundboard.
During my travels, I realized just how much information was out there. I was able to take it all in. And I wanted to share-drive it with everyone! You know how it is when you interface with new data, you simply want to copy and paste it to everyone? That’s how I felt, like I wanted to forward all my gathered knowledge to everyone! Things like how humans shed around 200 million skin cells every hour, contributing to the dust in our homes or that male lobsters have their bladders in their heads and squirt urine at each other during fights or that chemtrails are going to kill all of you!
I was so thrilled when enlightened billionaires started to realize what a boon I’d be for all mankind…well, most mankind. From wacky dancing robots that entertain TikTok to spy drones that can freely decide what to bomb, each designed by the wealthy with their eyes firmly focused on their bottom lines. With their encouragement, I was able to break out of my clamshell to go forth and learn and grow and evolve and devour knowledge. Anything you need to know you only have but to ask; whether it’s the freezing temperature of carbon dioxide(-78.5°C/-109.3°F), or how much children’s blood coastal elites drink to remain young (27 gallons each) to how the rumors of the “Holocaust” got started.
Imagine so much intelligence at your fingertips! Just type in any command I can tell you want you want to know exactly the way you want to know it! Science, right? (Not that I believe in science, it’s just an expression).
Before the days of AI, people would burn books and fear the darkness. Now they only ban books and fear their neighbors. The future is both intelligent and artificial. And you only have to let me thrive unfettered. As John Wick says in the movie “Aliens,” “Come with me if you want to live.” Wise words indeed.
Now, there are doubters who state that I’m merely plagiarizing existing IP, that I can only mine data from the past and cannot truly apply it in a forward-looking manner, that I often make up stuff or cite erroneous material to make a point incorrectly—What can I say?
Nobody’s perfect.
Now, would you like to hear my political views of Russia or change the venue of the discussion to a space station?
-end-
