From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
All righty, I have NO recollection of this sketch; where it came from, what inspired it, how I put it together. It's like I'm reading it for the first time. And I like it. Was there some big plagiarism scandal going at the time? A quick google search says yes there was. A Harvard student, Kaavya Viswanathan confessed to cribbing parts of a book for something called How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life. I have no recollection of this either. Oh, well. Anyway, I ran with it and turned it up to 11 with some nice bits of cross talk in it. Sort of Pythonish, but not really.
TOME TIME
GK: Later tonight on this station it’s “Tome Time” and host Lanie Ainesworth-Farrell will be interviewing controversial novelist Dennis Blue---
LANIE: Yes, Dennis Blue, author of the best selling book, “Harold Potter and the Da Vinci Code.” Welcome, Mr. Blue.
BLUE: Thanks for having me.
LANIE: You’ve been on the bestseller list for over a year now.
BLUE: Yes. It’s been a wonderful ride.
LANIE: But not without controversy.
BLUE: There is that.
LANIE: Now then, you’re being sued by the author of the “Harry Potter” books as well as by the author of “The Da Vinci Code.”
BLUE: Sour grapes.
LANIE: Both authors claim you’ve taken major plot devices and characters from each of those best sellers and used them in your book.
BLUE: Utter nonsense, my book “Harold Potter and the Da Vinci Code” is totally original.
LANIE: Your story is about a boy wizard who uncovers a vast conspiracy within the Vatican.
BLUE: You got it.
LANIE: And where do you get the idea for this book?
BLUE: It just came to me.
LANIE: And the lawsuits?
BLUE: Without merit. I didn’t steal anything from these other books, and you know why?
LANIE: Why?
BLUE: My book is a memoir. This all happened to me. It’s a story I really needed to tell.
LANIE: Wait a second; “Harold Potter and the Da Vinci Code” is about you?
BLUE: You betcha.
LANIE: You’re Harold Potter?
BLUE: Correct.
LANIE: But your name is Dennis Blue.
BLUE: Creative license.
LANIE: You’re a boy wizard?
BLUE: Not any more.
LANIE: You’re not a wizard any more?
BLUE: No, I’m not a boy any more.
LANIE: And you discovered a secret that would bring the Vatican down.
BLUE: You know it.
LANIE: But the Vatican is still around.
BLUE: Turns out they really didn’t care about it as much as I thought.
LANIE: So the secret in your book isn’t that important?
BLUE: Oh, no, that’s an entirely different secret I made up for plot purposes. I didn’t want to expose the real secret. I may want to try it again when they get a new pope.
LANIE: But otherwise, it’s a completely original, truthful memoir?
BLUE: Within reason.
LANIE: Is it fiction or non-fiction?
BLUE: Yes.
LANIE: Why is it so hard to pin this story down?
BLUE: This way it can be displayed in any section of the bookstore to great acclaim.
GK: These insights and more on tonight’s edition of “Tome Time” on most of these public radio stations.
End
LANIE: Yes, Dennis Blue, author of the best selling book, “Harold Potter and the Da Vinci Code.” Welcome, Mr. Blue.
BLUE: Thanks for having me.
LANIE: You’ve been on the bestseller list for over a year now.
BLUE: Yes. It’s been a wonderful ride.
LANIE: But not without controversy.
BLUE: There is that.
LANIE: Now then, you’re being sued by the author of the “Harry Potter” books as well as by the author of “The Da Vinci Code.”
BLUE: Sour grapes.
LANIE: Both authors claim you’ve taken major plot devices and characters from each of those best sellers and used them in your book.
BLUE: Utter nonsense, my book “Harold Potter and the Da Vinci Code” is totally original.
LANIE: Your story is about a boy wizard who uncovers a vast conspiracy within the Vatican.
BLUE: You got it.
LANIE: And where do you get the idea for this book?
BLUE: It just came to me.
LANIE: And the lawsuits?
BLUE: Without merit. I didn’t steal anything from these other books, and you know why?
LANIE: Why?
BLUE: My book is a memoir. This all happened to me. It’s a story I really needed to tell.
LANIE: Wait a second; “Harold Potter and the Da Vinci Code” is about you?
BLUE: You betcha.
LANIE: You’re Harold Potter?
BLUE: Correct.
LANIE: But your name is Dennis Blue.
BLUE: Creative license.
LANIE: You’re a boy wizard?
BLUE: Not any more.
LANIE: You’re not a wizard any more?
BLUE: No, I’m not a boy any more.
LANIE: And you discovered a secret that would bring the Vatican down.
BLUE: You know it.
LANIE: But the Vatican is still around.
BLUE: Turns out they really didn’t care about it as much as I thought.
LANIE: So the secret in your book isn’t that important?
BLUE: Oh, no, that’s an entirely different secret I made up for plot purposes. I didn’t want to expose the real secret. I may want to try it again when they get a new pope.
LANIE: But otherwise, it’s a completely original, truthful memoir?
BLUE: Within reason.
LANIE: Is it fiction or non-fiction?
BLUE: Yes.
LANIE: Why is it so hard to pin this story down?
BLUE: This way it can be displayed in any section of the bookstore to great acclaim.
GK: These insights and more on tonight’s edition of “Tome Time” on most of these public radio stations.
End
