From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
I don't remember this sketch at all. And with good reason. Sure, sure, the Dan Brown books were out and doing well. But he was getting a lot of backlash. A couple of authors sued him for taking their research as his plot. A bunch of people were taking the book as fact (and this is before Tom Hanks got involved). Meanwhile, another author was being lambasted for his fictional memoir. So naturally I had to write a sketch that included Amos and Andy references and a song parody. Oh, and seal-clubbing. Upon re-reading, I can see why it wasn't selected. I mean, I didn't even begin it right. I just interrupt a movie trailer with a producer without telling anyone he's the producer? Or that you're changing the trailer randomly for a supposed movie that's already in the can? I can only imagine I wrote the song first, then came up with a sketch as an intro. But it's such a weak intro to the point of the song. But the song is pretty solid
The Michelangelo Code
(Dramatic movie trailer music)
ANNOUNCER: Yes, “The Michelangelo Code” was the most controversial best seller in years…
PRODUCER: Yeah, about this “controversial” stuff…I mean, sure, it sounds controversial, but I wanna ratchet it up some more. Really get the public worked up.
ANNOUNCER: Sure, we can do that. “The Michelangelo Code,” is now a movie that rocks Christianity to its every foundation---
PRODUCER: Right, foundation rocking, that’s pretty good. But I really would like to get people to really notice this movie. Lots of controversial movies come out, but we have to be really controversial..
ANNOUNCER: Not satisfied that “The Michelangelo Code” was controversial enough, we’ve upped the ante by releasing “The Michelangelo Code” starring Amos and Andy---
AMOS: I say, Andy, I got me the Code!
ANDY: Well, Amos, why don’t you take some aspirin?
PRODUCER: Okay, we’re getting warmer.
ANNOUNCER: Yes, Megalomania Pictures was set to release the most controversial movie ever made, “The Michelangelo Code, starring Amos & Andy” when they came up with an even more controversial idea for this summer blockbuster hit!
AMOS: Andy! I had the code but now that baby seal took it away!
ANDY: Well, Amos, you just hold it still while I club it to death!
ANNOUNCER: Yes, coming out this week, it’s “The Michelangelo Code,” starring Amos & Andy clubbing baby seals.”
PRODUCER: Ka-ching!
ANNOUNCER: “Controversial” says the Los Angeles Post! The New York Daily Post says “Man, I thought ‘The Michelangelo Code’ was controversial before, but now it’s really controversial!” and the Boston Post says, “Where do I sign up to join the picket line?”
PRODUCER: I smell Oscar!
ANNOUNCER: So see go see the most controversial movie ever made, “The Michelangelo Code starring Amos & Andy clubbing Baby Seals” in smell-o-vision! Coming this summer to a nuclear powered theater near you!
PRODUCER: We need a theme song!
Danny Brown
(to the tune of "Charlie Brown" by the Coasters)
Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
I smell a fishy author and his tome
Danny Brown, Danny Brown
DaVinci Code and Danny Brown
Stirring up the pot
Dressed as history
(Why's everybody always pickin' on me)
Sequel in the works
Cashing his big checks
Movie from his book
In the multiplex
Danny Brown, Danny Brown
Slanderin' Danny Brown
Wrote a book of fiction
People all believe
(Why's everybody always pickin' on me)
Who's cribbing research for a plot?
Who's doing Indy Jones a lot?
Who's coming off as a crackpot?
Guess who (who, me) yeah, you!
Who tops bestsellers without fail?
Got a MacGuffin called the Holy Grail!
Danny Brown, Danny Brown
He's profound, that Danny Brown
At least it's not a memoir
That you can't believe
(Why's everybody always pickin' on me)
End
ANNOUNCER: Yes, “The Michelangelo Code” was the most controversial best seller in years…
PRODUCER: Yeah, about this “controversial” stuff…I mean, sure, it sounds controversial, but I wanna ratchet it up some more. Really get the public worked up.
ANNOUNCER: Sure, we can do that. “The Michelangelo Code,” is now a movie that rocks Christianity to its every foundation---
PRODUCER: Right, foundation rocking, that’s pretty good. But I really would like to get people to really notice this movie. Lots of controversial movies come out, but we have to be really controversial..
ANNOUNCER: Not satisfied that “The Michelangelo Code” was controversial enough, we’ve upped the ante by releasing “The Michelangelo Code” starring Amos and Andy---
AMOS: I say, Andy, I got me the Code!
ANDY: Well, Amos, why don’t you take some aspirin?
PRODUCER: Okay, we’re getting warmer.
ANNOUNCER: Yes, Megalomania Pictures was set to release the most controversial movie ever made, “The Michelangelo Code, starring Amos & Andy” when they came up with an even more controversial idea for this summer blockbuster hit!
AMOS: Andy! I had the code but now that baby seal took it away!
ANDY: Well, Amos, you just hold it still while I club it to death!
ANNOUNCER: Yes, coming out this week, it’s “The Michelangelo Code,” starring Amos & Andy clubbing baby seals.”
PRODUCER: Ka-ching!
ANNOUNCER: “Controversial” says the Los Angeles Post! The New York Daily Post says “Man, I thought ‘The Michelangelo Code’ was controversial before, but now it’s really controversial!” and the Boston Post says, “Where do I sign up to join the picket line?”
PRODUCER: I smell Oscar!
ANNOUNCER: So see go see the most controversial movie ever made, “The Michelangelo Code starring Amos & Andy clubbing Baby Seals” in smell-o-vision! Coming this summer to a nuclear powered theater near you!
PRODUCER: We need a theme song!
Danny Brown
(to the tune of "Charlie Brown" by the Coasters)
Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
I smell a fishy author and his tome
Danny Brown, Danny Brown
DaVinci Code and Danny Brown
Stirring up the pot
Dressed as history
(Why's everybody always pickin' on me)
Sequel in the works
Cashing his big checks
Movie from his book
In the multiplex
Danny Brown, Danny Brown
Slanderin' Danny Brown
Wrote a book of fiction
People all believe
(Why's everybody always pickin' on me)
Who's cribbing research for a plot?
Who's doing Indy Jones a lot?
Who's coming off as a crackpot?
Guess who (who, me) yeah, you!
Who tops bestsellers without fail?
Got a MacGuffin called the Holy Grail!
Danny Brown, Danny Brown
He's profound, that Danny Brown
At least it's not a memoir
That you can't believe
(Why's everybody always pickin' on me)
End
