From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
The show was advertising that they were on a Minneapolis micro-tour doing this show at the Orpheum Theater (a famous vaudeville house). Knowing that, I worked it into my sketch about those new fangled digital cameras. There was a time portable phones only made phone calls! Can you believe that? I worked in a comment someone made to me about the shutter button when I first tried to use a digital camera. And, of course cutting off heads. I mean, we always cut off heads in photos, but we wouldn't find out about it for weeks.
The characters aren't exactly Minnesota nice, more like those east-coast tourists. Again, a quick bit, in and out. I liked with GK was dealing with odd ball characters, it was very Bob Newhart-y, and I often wrote him that way.
The characters aren't exactly Minnesota nice, more like those east-coast tourists. Again, a quick bit, in and out. I liked with GK was dealing with odd ball characters, it was very Bob Newhart-y, and I often wrote him that way.
Say Cheese
GK: We are enjoying our micro-Minni tour, seeing all the tourist sites like this historic theater---
MAN: Excuse us; we were just wondering if you could take our picture.
GK: Oh, yes, sure.
WOMAN: Oh, thanks. Just us together in front of the…
GK: Sure, no problem. This is one of those digital cameras?
MAN: Yes. Just look here and the shutter is up there.
GK: Here?
MAN: Right, the button on the top there. Just where George Eastman put it 100 years ago.
GK: Okay, okay. Get together. Okay, hold it. Say cheese.
MAN & WOMAN: Cheese.
GK: There you are.
MAN: Let me just check it.
GK: Check it?
WOMAN: Oh, yes, with the digital cameras you can look at the picture instantly.
GK: Oh, just like a Polaroid.
MAN: No. Nothing like that.
GK: Sorry.
MAN: You cut off our heads.
GK: Come again?
MAN: Look at that. You cut off our heads. And you can’t even see the marquee.
GK: Sorry. That video screen threw me off.
MAN: Try it again.
GK: Okay, fine.
MAN: Are you looking at the view screen?
GK: Yes.
MAN: Are we both in it?
GK: Sure.
WOMAN: And the marquee? Is that in it, too?
GK: Right up there. See, it’s right there---
MAN: No, don’t touch that button!
(Bink)
GK: What happened?
MAN: You deleted us.
GK: Deleted you?
WOMAN: Deleted us.
GK: Well, this one’s still here.
MAN: Without our heads.
GK: I could just take another---
WOMAN: No, no thank you. We’ll just stare at it for a while and remember it. Thank you.
MAN: No wonder you’re in radio. You can’t handle visuals at all.
End
MAN: Excuse us; we were just wondering if you could take our picture.
GK: Oh, yes, sure.
WOMAN: Oh, thanks. Just us together in front of the…
GK: Sure, no problem. This is one of those digital cameras?
MAN: Yes. Just look here and the shutter is up there.
GK: Here?
MAN: Right, the button on the top there. Just where George Eastman put it 100 years ago.
GK: Okay, okay. Get together. Okay, hold it. Say cheese.
MAN & WOMAN: Cheese.
GK: There you are.
MAN: Let me just check it.
GK: Check it?
WOMAN: Oh, yes, with the digital cameras you can look at the picture instantly.
GK: Oh, just like a Polaroid.
MAN: No. Nothing like that.
GK: Sorry.
MAN: You cut off our heads.
GK: Come again?
MAN: Look at that. You cut off our heads. And you can’t even see the marquee.
GK: Sorry. That video screen threw me off.
MAN: Try it again.
GK: Okay, fine.
MAN: Are you looking at the view screen?
GK: Yes.
MAN: Are we both in it?
GK: Sure.
WOMAN: And the marquee? Is that in it, too?
GK: Right up there. See, it’s right there---
MAN: No, don’t touch that button!
(Bink)
GK: What happened?
MAN: You deleted us.
GK: Deleted you?
WOMAN: Deleted us.
GK: Well, this one’s still here.
MAN: Without our heads.
GK: I could just take another---
WOMAN: No, no thank you. We’ll just stare at it for a while and remember it. Thank you.
MAN: No wonder you’re in radio. You can’t handle visuals at all.
End
