From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Again, not much I remember about this bit. PHC would usually start their season with a street fair. Once in a while they would do a show from a state fair. This is just a silly little trifle that ends with one of my long-time questions, which has popped in and out of other work of mine.
On the Midway
GK: State Fairs, the big show for the carney crowd. Carrying on the great tradition of the midway.
BARKER: Step right up, I’ll guess your birthday within 6 months. If I’m wrong you win a prize! Only 1 buck.
GK: What kind of prize?
BARKER: It’s plush doll.
GK: I could buy one of those for 75 cents.
BARKER: Get away, son, you bother me.
BARKER 2: Guess your weight? Only a dollar! One greenback. A single smackeroo!
BARKER 3: Step right up and let me guess your creed. One clam and I will guess your creed within one denomination. How about you, sir, you looking might Protestant today?
BARKER 4: Conundrums! Let me guess your conundrum for only one dollar! Step right up, sir. Guess your conundrum?
GK: Well, okay.
BARKER 4: Let’s see. Thoughtful man. Deep. Quite deep. Yes, you’re an animal rights activist and you want to donate coats to the homeless, but they’re fur coats.
GK: No.
BARKER 4: You are asking yourself, “Can God make a boulder so heavy even He can’t lift it?”
GK: Sorry. Haven’t even given it a thought.
BARKER 4: Okay, how about that chicken or the egg thing?
GK: ‘Fraid not.
BARKER 4: Okay, then, what is it?
GK: I can’t figure out why doesn’t Kansas rhyme with Arkansas.
BARKER 4: Here’s your plush doll. Now get away boy, you bother me.
end
BARKER: Step right up, I’ll guess your birthday within 6 months. If I’m wrong you win a prize! Only 1 buck.
GK: What kind of prize?
BARKER: It’s plush doll.
GK: I could buy one of those for 75 cents.
BARKER: Get away, son, you bother me.
BARKER 2: Guess your weight? Only a dollar! One greenback. A single smackeroo!
BARKER 3: Step right up and let me guess your creed. One clam and I will guess your creed within one denomination. How about you, sir, you looking might Protestant today?
BARKER 4: Conundrums! Let me guess your conundrum for only one dollar! Step right up, sir. Guess your conundrum?
GK: Well, okay.
BARKER 4: Let’s see. Thoughtful man. Deep. Quite deep. Yes, you’re an animal rights activist and you want to donate coats to the homeless, but they’re fur coats.
GK: No.
BARKER 4: You are asking yourself, “Can God make a boulder so heavy even He can’t lift it?”
GK: Sorry. Haven’t even given it a thought.
BARKER 4: Okay, how about that chicken or the egg thing?
GK: ‘Fraid not.
BARKER 4: Okay, then, what is it?
GK: I can’t figure out why doesn’t Kansas rhyme with Arkansas.
BARKER 4: Here’s your plush doll. Now get away boy, you bother me.
end
