Hurricane Watch
(THROBBING ELECTRONIC NEWS THEME)
LINDA: This is Linda Wertheimer from NPR Weather Central. Hurricane Zelda will reach landfall at any moment directly on the city of Springfield. So let's go to our reporter, John Knotwright, live in Springfield.
(Wind, thunder, crashing)
JOHN: Yes, Linda, it’s quite a storm brewing here, as you can hear. It’s raining and the wind is windy. A good indication that a storm is coming.
LINDA: Zelda has reached an unprecedented level 6 category, the most powerful hurricane ever recorded, John. Have you noticed that?
JOHN: Level six? I didn’t know that. But I guess it is really windy now that you mention it.
LINDA: The storm is pushing in tidal waves measuring 20 feet. Floodwaters are expected to strike the town any minute.
JOHN: Really? No one mentioned that to me. Though, frankly, there aren’t a lot of people out here.
LINDA: That could be because the Mayor has stated that Springfield will be a wasteland as this terrible natural catastrophe strikes and has ordered everyone to evacuate the city.
JOHN: That would explain the lack of other people here.
LINDA: We're also receiving reports of tornados that are approaching the city from the north.
JOHN: Say what?
LINDA: And we just have word that seismographs are picking up earthquake tremors in the area. The National Guard has pulled out and the governor has order the complete and utter evacuation of the entire state before an earthquake hits.
JOHN: Where are you getting this from? How come nobody told me any of this? Why am I here if you’re getting all this information back there at the studio?
LINDA: I’m just getting word…a large flock of rabid chickens have been spotted on the outskirts of town and are now heading toward the business district.
JOHN: I’m in the business district.
LINDA: This is remarkable. I don’t think we have seen a disaster of these proportions before. Thankfully, everyone is out of harm’s way, aren’t they, John?
JOHN: The news van just blew away!
LINDA: Anything to add, John?
JOHN: Get me outta here!!!
LINDA: That was John Knotwright in Springfield, which is about to be wiped off the map. We now return to our regular broadcast, all ready in progress.
end