From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
I had forgotten that I was still steadily submitting to PHC in 2005. Checking the files, yup, I was submitting something every week for the whole season. Not that it did me any good at this point. We're back to that original feeling; I was submitting in a void. No feedback, no notes, suggestions or advice. Send it in, listen to the show to see if they used anything, repeat the following week. I know there were lulls when I can tell I was "phoning it in" with minor, very short, or recycled bits, I seem to be attempting to get back up to speed other weeks. I mean, I don't recall much about this piece, but reading it, I think it's very clever and cute and very much in the PHC voice. It is two brief ideas tied together by theme, but I often felt that you could get away with that in radio; the sentence itself is your scene change. I did misspell "there" and still think my sloppy proofreading skills may have handicapped me in some way. Little side note; Whenever I have to mention trees, I usually work in "larch" as a nod to Monty Python.
Foliaged Again
GK: This is the first weekend of autumn. The weather will turn. As will the leaves. For those parts of the country which still have trees, they have slowly begun their annual blush from green to, well, autumnal colors. The hues darken and turn, creating a vast palette of tints. It’s an exciting time for many as the foliage changes.
WOMAN: Look, Bill, it’s a maple.
MAN: Very nice dear.
WOMAN: That’s one for the scrape book.
GK: Scrape book?
WOMAN: Oh, yes. I’ve got my scrape book of autumn leaves. Here, I have one of the volumes with me.
GK: One of them?
MAN: Don’t ask.
WOMAN: See, here’s an oak, vintage 1998. That was a very good year.
MAN: Yeah, that was the year I finally got the leaf blower.
GK: That’s lovely the way you have them each pressed in there and labeled. They must hold some lovely memories.
MAN: Yeah, memories of leaves.
WOMAN: Oh and here’s an elm, 2000. Look at those colors, that texture. It’s almost alive. And this is a birch from the mid-80s. And this is the prize of my collection; a larch from 2003.
GK: Why’s that the prize?
WOMAN: It’s autographed.
MAN: Next she’s going to bring out the scrape books of the pine needles from all her favorite Christmas trees.
WOMAN: Oh, Ted, don’t rush it. It’s not even Halloween yet!
GK: Here in the north, the turning of the trees is quite the tourist industry. There are many small hotels and bed and breakfast inns that cater to the leaf watchers.
HAL: Yeah, they’re a big part of our fall clientele. We have special rates and special activities. Single nights in the woods. We really try to make them happy. That’s our slogan: “We won’t spoil-iage the foliage.”
GK: It’s a lovely inn. What’s it called?
HAL: “Hal’s Bed and Lunch.”
GK: “Bed and Lunch?”
HAL: We cater to late risers. But we love this season. That’s why we work so hard to extend it.
GK: How do you extend the leaf watching season?
HAL: I hire a bunch of Mexicans to hot glue the leaves back to the trees as they fall. We got foliage up the whazoo for weeks after the other guys have closed down. You should see the other hotel guys change their colors. They’re green with envy! Ha!
GK: So, enjoy the autumn. A season of change. A season of reflection. A season watching trees get naked.
End
WOMAN: Look, Bill, it’s a maple.
MAN: Very nice dear.
WOMAN: That’s one for the scrape book.
GK: Scrape book?
WOMAN: Oh, yes. I’ve got my scrape book of autumn leaves. Here, I have one of the volumes with me.
GK: One of them?
MAN: Don’t ask.
WOMAN: See, here’s an oak, vintage 1998. That was a very good year.
MAN: Yeah, that was the year I finally got the leaf blower.
GK: That’s lovely the way you have them each pressed in there and labeled. They must hold some lovely memories.
MAN: Yeah, memories of leaves.
WOMAN: Oh and here’s an elm, 2000. Look at those colors, that texture. It’s almost alive. And this is a birch from the mid-80s. And this is the prize of my collection; a larch from 2003.
GK: Why’s that the prize?
WOMAN: It’s autographed.
MAN: Next she’s going to bring out the scrape books of the pine needles from all her favorite Christmas trees.
WOMAN: Oh, Ted, don’t rush it. It’s not even Halloween yet!
GK: Here in the north, the turning of the trees is quite the tourist industry. There are many small hotels and bed and breakfast inns that cater to the leaf watchers.
HAL: Yeah, they’re a big part of our fall clientele. We have special rates and special activities. Single nights in the woods. We really try to make them happy. That’s our slogan: “We won’t spoil-iage the foliage.”
GK: It’s a lovely inn. What’s it called?
HAL: “Hal’s Bed and Lunch.”
GK: “Bed and Lunch?”
HAL: We cater to late risers. But we love this season. That’s why we work so hard to extend it.
GK: How do you extend the leaf watching season?
HAL: I hire a bunch of Mexicans to hot glue the leaves back to the trees as they fall. We got foliage up the whazoo for weeks after the other guys have closed down. You should see the other hotel guys change their colors. They’re green with envy! Ha!
GK: So, enjoy the autumn. A season of change. A season of reflection. A season watching trees get naked.
End
