From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
I guess I'm doing this to remind myself about all the material I've written over the years. I have no memory of this sketch. It's a quick commercial parody for a dumb product, which I must have backed into with the name of the product. I'm reading it and it definitely reads like a PHC sketch, with the couple at odds over the whole concept. I should check to see if I peddled it to the other radio outlets I was dealing with at the time. It really would fit in most places. Maybe I need to mind the files for internet content. If only I had production abilities or connections.
They didn't use the bit. And the show was taking a few weeks off before doing a series of shows on the road, some within Minnesota.
They didn't use the bit. And the show was taking a few weeks off before doing a series of shows on the road, some within Minnesota.
Cos-pet-tics
MAN: Honey, I'm taking the dog out for a walk!
WOMAN: Like that?
MAN: Like what?
WOMAN: She's just so plain looking. I wish there was a way to make our dog more glamorous.
ANNOUNCER: Well, now there is with Cos-pet-tics, cosmetics for pets.
WOMAN: Cos-pet-tics? Tell me more!
ANNOUNCER: Cos-pet-tics the safe and easy way to give your pet the look that will get tails to wagging.
MAN: Cosmetics for pets? Isn't that, like, stupid?
WOMAN: Don't mind Jim, he really doesn't get it.
ANNOUNCER: With a full line of eye make-up, fur tints and butt shadows, your dog can become one hot little bitch.
WOMAN: How do I know it's safe?
ANNOUNCER: It's the latest product from Pet-mart, so you know it's safe. Every product is human tested. As soon as those convicted felons stop screaming and the rashes clear up, we know it's safe enough for your pet. So, run out now and get the full assortment of Cos-pet-tics.
WOMAN: I'll take the dog out, honey. Right out to Pet-mart to get make-up for our dog!
MAN: I don't know you.
ANNOUNCER: Cos-pet-tics, from the makers of Fish Moisturizer and Turtle wax.
end
WOMAN: Like that?
MAN: Like what?
WOMAN: She's just so plain looking. I wish there was a way to make our dog more glamorous.
ANNOUNCER: Well, now there is with Cos-pet-tics, cosmetics for pets.
WOMAN: Cos-pet-tics? Tell me more!
ANNOUNCER: Cos-pet-tics the safe and easy way to give your pet the look that will get tails to wagging.
MAN: Cosmetics for pets? Isn't that, like, stupid?
WOMAN: Don't mind Jim, he really doesn't get it.
ANNOUNCER: With a full line of eye make-up, fur tints and butt shadows, your dog can become one hot little bitch.
WOMAN: How do I know it's safe?
ANNOUNCER: It's the latest product from Pet-mart, so you know it's safe. Every product is human tested. As soon as those convicted felons stop screaming and the rashes clear up, we know it's safe enough for your pet. So, run out now and get the full assortment of Cos-pet-tics.
WOMAN: I'll take the dog out, honey. Right out to Pet-mart to get make-up for our dog!
MAN: I don't know you.
ANNOUNCER: Cos-pet-tics, from the makers of Fish Moisturizer and Turtle wax.
end
