From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Okay, this is one of those sketches I forgot I wrote 20 years ago. It was a goof on the slew of celebrity game shows that were then popping up on TV, especially as the summer approached. Very straight forward, attempting to use the cast's abilities to mimic celebrity voices, and very inspired by the Celebrity Jeopardy sketches on SNL. Maybe that's why there are only 3 spellers. I'm looking at it and it seems short, like I could have tossed in a few more people in there to do impressions of. So, 2007. I go to google a picture to include on the blog and what to I stumble upon? Actual shows called Celebrity Spelling Bee. See, GK? This could have been you! You could have done it FIRST!!! But did you? Nooooooo. Man, I even have a Trump reference and portray him in 2007 as a jerk. Maybe, GK, if you had done this sketch, we could have shamed him from the public spotlight and saved ourselves a LOT of grief. That's on you GK. I blame you.
Celebrity Spelling Bee
GK: It's been the subject of documentaries, movies and Broadway musicals! And now it's about to become part of your listening schedule, for a spell.
HOST: Mr. Trump, your word is "received."
TRUMP: Received. R-e-c-I-e-v-e-d. Received.
(buzzer sounds)
HOST: That's incorrect.
TRUMP: How much for it to be right?
ANNOUNCER: It's "Celebrity Spelling Bee"!
HOST: Your word is "there," Woody.
WOODY ALLEN: Do you mean "they're" or "their"?
HOST: "There."
WOODY: This is crazy! A sentence! Can you use it in a sentence?
HOST: There is no way they're getting their reward.
WOODY: What? Which?
ANNOUNCER: Watch your favorite stars spell your favorite words!
HOST: Miss Spears your world is "Beagle."
BRITNEY SPEARS: Beagle. B-e-a-g-e-l. Beagle, y'all.
(Buzzer sounds)
BRITNEY: Son of a spelling bee!
HOST: Thanks for playing. And here's the home version of "Celebrity Spelling Bee."
BRITNEY: It's a dictionary, y'all.
HOST: Exactly.
GK: It's all the excitement of the National Spelling Bee only with celebrities! Get it? You will, tonight on most of these public radio stations.
The end
HOST: Mr. Trump, your word is "received."
TRUMP: Received. R-e-c-I-e-v-e-d. Received.
(buzzer sounds)
HOST: That's incorrect.
TRUMP: How much for it to be right?
ANNOUNCER: It's "Celebrity Spelling Bee"!
HOST: Your word is "there," Woody.
WOODY ALLEN: Do you mean "they're" or "their"?
HOST: "There."
WOODY: This is crazy! A sentence! Can you use it in a sentence?
HOST: There is no way they're getting their reward.
WOODY: What? Which?
ANNOUNCER: Watch your favorite stars spell your favorite words!
HOST: Miss Spears your world is "Beagle."
BRITNEY SPEARS: Beagle. B-e-a-g-e-l. Beagle, y'all.
(Buzzer sounds)
BRITNEY: Son of a spelling bee!
HOST: Thanks for playing. And here's the home version of "Celebrity Spelling Bee."
BRITNEY: It's a dictionary, y'all.
HOST: Exactly.
GK: It's all the excitement of the National Spelling Bee only with celebrities! Get it? You will, tonight on most of these public radio stations.
The end
