Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large - Easy as Falling off a Blog

Dan Fiorella

Steamed! The World Premiere! Oct. 31, 2019!

10/14/2019

We are celebrating the debut screening of Beverly Bonner's short Horror/Comedy film
"STEAMED!" Which I co-wrote.

It's a Halloween night fundraiser!

Broadway Comedy Club
318 West 53rd (8th & 9th) NYC
Downstairs Theater
October 31, 2019, 6:30pm - 8:00pm
$35 donation/2 Drink Minimum

Along with the film screening there with be variety entertainment, and Q&A with Cast and Crew! So, I'm assuming I will be there. Leading the entertainment is our star, Beverly "Basket Case" Bonner! She'll be joined by Mark Loughney, Constance Cooper, Rocco George, and more. There's no better way to celebrate Halloween without candy!

Look, there are production costs to pay off and festival fees to pay, so Donation Tickets can be bought at:

https://beverly-bonner.ticketleap.com/debut-screening-of-horrorcomedy-short-film-steamed/

Also, you can just donate. But, I hope to see you there!

Barely Home Companion: Office Politics 10/00

10/4/2019

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

The year 2000 was a crazy political year and everyone was getting their licks in. There weren't too many political surprises on a show headed by Garrison "Tax & Spend Liberal" Keillor broadcast on NPR, but still, you just didn't want to hit the low-hanging fruit. You wanted to find a new, unique take on the issues of the day. I don't remember how I came to juxtaposition the idea of office politics with real politics--the debates, the ads, the negative campaigning--but here's how it came out. I broke it into a series of bits leading up to a main sketch. I'm not sure that PHC had ever played around with running gags through a show before and now was not the time for them to start. My journal doesn't say much about the Fall of '00, just mentioning that I submitted items and they didn't get used. Anyway, here's...

Office Politics

Barely Home Companion: Radio Olympics (10/00)

10/4/2019

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

CI always had to pay attention to the PHC website to see when the show would resume production (not like anyone was going to call me to update me). As the 2000-2001 season approached, I was feeling good about it. They had done a couple of my bits. The checks had cleared. Sure, they passed on most of my submissions, but it was a legitimate credit. And it was good to have a focus again, an actual writing target to hit.

I was forever attempting to work within their templates. The summer's big story had been the Olympics. Lord knows I've written enough Olympic parodies over the years (actually, I would keep re-writing the same old idea and re-submit it every four years) but never for radio. So, naturally, it came out as one of PHC's SFX sketches.

I pulled out my journals from this time and found an entry for this:

"Christina @ PHC loved Radio Olympics...now we see if Keillor goes for it."

He didn't. So, we present here, on my blog, audio humor:

Radio Olympics

A Writer's Journal Journey: The Prairie Home Companion Years; 10/99-11/00

9/20/2019

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I've been pulling up these old PHC bits over the last few months and the decided I wanted to look up how I felt about things at the time. I pulled out my old journals from the PHC years and some of what I remember is off a bit. On 9/1/99, I wrote:

"Got a tip on PAGE for someone looking for comedy sketches. Turns out to be Garrison Keillor's NPR show.
I emailed them Othello, Barney and Peace o' Mind. The producer wrote back saying she really liked them. They're off the air 'til October but she'll be getting back to me."

Oh, yeah, PAGE. That was (is?) a writers BBS that was created originally as a space for Writers Guild Members to interact on the internet. I had forgotten that's where I got the lead from. It had been a really nice online presence that made me feel like I was part of the writing community. I lot of advice and help was shared there. Today, things have moved to Writers Action BBS.

On 10/6/99, I wrote:

"Prairie Home Companion used a version of Abbott & Othello Saturday on their show! It's now archived on the web. They liked the other 2 things as well. They'll be paying me for the sketch. Then she called today (Christina Tschida, producer) to get to know me better--the next batch of stuff floored her, it was very good and right up their alley. She'll be sending me some scripts and tapes to get a better feel of the show."

You can see why I was so stoked by this new gig. And why I was so bummed as I seem to lose their attention. I got phone calls, I got CDs, I got checks! By 10/20/99 I was already worried that they hadn't used anything else, or acknowledged the submissions. On 11/19, I note I submitted specific material for their Rapid City road show and had gotten no reaction. On 11/22, I wrote they had used my "Mt. Rushmore" sketch and then lamented that it veered into an anti-Republican rant and got away from the apolitical piece of whimsy that I wrote. Plus, nobody told me it was going up. But I had a check coming (which was very important in 1999). I was getting ready to set the next batch of material for their first New York City show of 1999. And I was going to ask if I could attend a performance.

On 12/8 I wrote:

"PHC didn't give me an on-air credit but the bit is posted with the standard "Idea by" credit. And a check is headed my way. No response to my request to attend the show. And none of my stuff has been used thus far in NYC. Very frustrating getting ignored in my hometown."

By 1/7/00 I note that PHC finally posted my credit online for the Christmas material they used. on 2/19 I learn the producer feels my material was missing the mark. I'm told to avoid pop culture, Keillor is clueless. Don't meander, maintain the through-lines. They were headed on the road to Great Britain, but used none of my submitted material there. So I began compiling material for their return, in NY, in March. Which I then managed to lose by somehow wiping clean my special PHC floppy disc. I had to recreate them. I was pulling out the stops at this point, new material, resurrecting and reworking old bits. I scanned the hard copy of an old thing I had rewritten for a revue, Dial M for Marriage, which was a very audio-based bit. I was grabbing stuff from college, typing up material that was all pre-digital, re-working it into radio format. I never would get an invite to attend the show.

Still to do: Groucho song "Medicine and "Style" audition--black out sketches as a Broadway tale--all must be typed.
Tschida kinda likes our Armageddon Married sketch (updated to "Who wants to Marry a Rich Guy) <ed. note: It was a skit about a mass marriage, inspired by a Rev. Moon stunt>. She's worried it's too TV. It's not and I told her that.
Also, she's desperate for jokes for the Joke Show <ed. note: That was out of my wheelhouse>

I'm shocked to see on 4/10/00, that my entry says PHC was interested in my NYC medley piece and asked for a rewrite on the ending. That's been my constant complaint here that I never heard back on them. And he's is evidence I did. They never used it, however. I even wrote that my erstwhile writing partner was working on his own solo piece, after I hooked him up with the show (he was my co-writer on the mass marriage bit). Again, had totally forgotten about that.

Anyway, they didn't use the skit. And I wrote that I was ticked off because they did a Staten Island ferry sketch. I'm from Staten Island! I should have done that sketch!

By June 2000, I'm just recording that I'm still "submitting a piece a week to be rejected by PHC." In July, I must have asked the PHC producer about other radio sites because I say there was no reply. All was quiet for the summer, radio-wise. As they geared up for the 2000-2001 season, I got word the producer loved Radio Olympics. But not enough to use it, as it turned out. I was starting to realize that the producer at PHC was important but labored under the whims of GK. That turns out to be another story, long after I was done...

Well, this brings my journal into synch with what I've been posting, so back to the sketches!

Barely Home Companion - 9/11/01 Guys Patriotic Shoes

9/11/2019

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

After the horrific terror attacks of 9/11/01, the entertainment industry kinda shut down. There was too much to process and too many to mourn to allow ourselves to simply slip back into day-to-day life. But, even in the darkest tragedies, people get antsy for something more. Our basic needs still exist, to eat, to drink, to be among others. And social interaction leads to other things; the need to enjoy. The need to laugh.

In so many ways, all eyes were on New York City. Not just for what had happened, but for what we were. NYC is one of the broadcast centers of the nation. And, slowly, the media began to shake off the darkness. We all know how Letterman, John Steward, SNL and even Howard Stern started up their shows-both trying to acknowledge the change while conceding that some things, like the need to laugh, never change.

I had a small part in all this. Half way across the country, PHC had been on its hiatus with reruns for the summer. Their season opener was set for 10/6/01. Not for nothing, but by that time, my day job had been back up and running in Lower Manhattan for weeks. We were pressing forward, step by step, with the ashes and smoke still drifting out of Ground Zero. Work pushed us forward. But, try writing comedy.

The one thing the show had going for it was that over the summer Keillor had undergone heart surgery. He opened with that (which also was written by me). Then he went into one of his Wobegon monologues (which was usually done toward the end). He was going to get back into their routine as quickly as possible.

Anyway, it was time to write something to submit. The heart surgery was a quick bit I had done weeks earlier after I first read the news. But something new? That was proving tricky. One thing that was kind of annoying to me at this time was the sudden rush of patriotic commercials that were hitting the air. Everyone was trying to acknowledge the tragedy while still selling their wares. And some of the connections were really weak. So, that's how I decided to handle it...

Acme Floor Covering

Memories of MAD 1

8/26/2019

I certainly have made no secret about writing for Cracked magazine over the years. But with the announcement that Mad magazine is shutting down after a 70 year run, I figured I would mention my experiences with that magazine.

First off, Mad published one of my gags. It was drawn by Don Martin. It was the first thing I ever submitted to them. Things went quickly downhill from there.

One Fine Morning at State Prison

Blog Update

8/5/2019

Well, it seems Weebly adjusted their algorithms and it turns out that where I thought I was getting hundreds of views a day and week, I'm getting 14. So, I guess, officially, my blog is actually my secret diary. Oh, well. Enjoy.

Skit Happens: North Korean Edition 2

8/5/2019

Who would possibly write TWO North Korean song parodies? Me! Back in March 2013, things were ever dicey with the Axis of Evil, so North Korea was in the news a lot. Man, pundits were going nuts that we weren't just going in and invading them. I had a joke somewhere about doing it so we could make a sequel to M*A*S*H. Now we go around trying to woo them. How times have changed.

Anyway, here's a ditty I wrote up for the radio producers. It didn't make the cut.

Korea!

Skit Happens: North Korean Edition 1

8/2/2019

Well, here's an old bit I thought would never be topical again. Back in March 2012, North Korea was in the news for firing missiles, with an attempt to increase range. People couldn't decide whether to ignore him or battle him. I sent this song parody to the radio people I was dealing with. One pass. the second gave me a soft pass. He kinda liked it but didn't think the story had legs. He was afraid by the time it got produced, the story would fade away. I resubmitted it the next time North Korea started sending up missiles again. Nothing then either. Now it's 2019, and here we are again! So, I'm cutting out the middle man and posting this bit to the blog.

Launch a Missile, Korea

DOA:Hollywood - Hollywood Director (4/2019)

7/31/2019

TMI: Hollwood produces a live TOPICAL show each week, every Sunday. And by "every" we mean "many." Not everything submitted gets in. And not everything that gets rejected has a shelf life.

Sometimes my material isn't so much topical as locational. A couple ideas occurred to me while walking the dog; they were both Hollywood-related ideas. I think I had just seen a promo on TCM for a Jackie Cooper movie and it made me think of that old story of how they got Cooper to cry in movies; by saying his dog was dead. I just extrapolated from there to come up with this little ditty. TMI: Hollywood took a pass, but if TCM ever does a sketch show, I'm submitted this!

Hollywood Director

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