Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large - Easy as Falling off a Blog

Dan Fiorella

Skit Happens: Bad Stuntman

9/26/2022

Early on when I started posting under the Category "Skit Happens" (aka "From the Slushpile") I was posting stuff that that been submitted somewhere but didn't get chosen. Post-pandemic (if we are, in fact, post-it) I've been writing sketches and have had few, if any, places to submit them. I don't know why I'm still writing them. It's like the idea pops into my head and I get such a rush from the act of creating, I want to get it down on paper, I need to. In the mean time, these things are burning holes in my harddrive and I have to put them out there somewhere and I have a blog. So...

This sketch came to me in bits and pieces over time. I remember getting the idea for a "bad stuntman" using a noose. I emailed myself a note saying just that. And it sat there. Slowly, things came up to fill it out during the pandemic. Just turned into a series of bad ideas, topped off with the original noose gag. There was no rush to complete it for anyone, so I would pull it up, turn the names into a running gag and just make it goofy. Weirdly, SNL did a COVID episode with a pair of bad stuntwomen showing off their meager skills and what they were doing to stay sharp during the lockdown. The two don't really have much in common, but it was just weird seeing a stuntman sketch as I was wrapping mine up. Oh, well. At least they had somewhere to send it...

Bad Stuntman

Barely Home Companion: I've got a Secret Agent (Oct. '03)

9/23/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Ah, yes, political humor during the W. Bush administration. It wrote itself. At this time, there was a big scandal that a member of the administration was leaking the name of a active spy. Here's a bit from Wikipedia:

The Plame affair (also known as the CIA leak scandal and Plamegate) was a political scandal that revolved around journalist Robert Novak's public identification of Valerie Plame as a covert Central Intelligence Agency officer in 2003

An official tried to undermine the Republicans with the truth about Iraq and the weapons of mass destruction they supposedly had lying around. We got into a whole big war about it. The sketch doesn't get into any of that, but I decided to have Bush visit the show (he had before and would again-their guy did a good Bush impression) and just start dropping spy names all over the place. It was the simplest way to take a news story and convert it into a comedy routine. Oh, and the names he drops? Those all all people I knew, part of the comedy troupe Style without Substance that I had worked with back in the late 80s. I thought they'd get a kick out of hearing their names on air. Too bad it never happened. The sketch didn't make the cut that week...

I've got a Secret Agent

Skit Happens: Theme Park Announcements

9/19/2022

Early on when I started posting under the Category "Skit Happens" I was posting stuff that that been submitted somewhere but didn't get chosen. Post-pandemic (if we are, in fact, post-it) I've been writing sketches and have had few, if any, places to submit them to. I don't know why I'm still writing them. It's like the idea pops into my head and I get such a rush from the act of creating, I want to get it down on paper, I need to. In the mean time, these things are burning holes in my hard drive and I have to put them out there somewhere and I have a blog, so...

I kinda forgot where this idea popped up from. SNL has been doing some "Voice work on video games" sketches. There was a lot of news about the new Jurassic Park movie coming out. Then during the pandemic, the news reported how Japanese theme parks were asking their visitors NOT to scream on the rides to prevent spreading droplets. It all just came together as this thing. It's a two-hander, so I'm not sure the comedy troupe would have leapt to do it. And it does depend on a growing absurdity that is tricky to maintain. It's cute, it's goofy and maybe it would have made the cut...

Theme Park Announcements

Barely Home Companion: Faux Paws (Sep. 03)

9/16/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I'm guessing there must have been some genetic engineering news floating around back in September 2003. Along with lots of Harry Potter and fantasy films with their fantastic beasts. And when the title Faux Paws popped into my head, well, a sketch was born. It's a standard commercial parody, and PHC never shied away from those, especially if it had an SFX spin to it, coming up with weird animal noises, but they passed on it. But it has a happy ending, as I was able to sell it elsewhere. I've included the audio at the bottom of the post...

Faux Paws

Binge-worthy: The Orville

9/14/2022

So the third season of The Orville finally came into existence this year, but on streaming. I had watched the first two seasons ages ago when it was on FOX. I remember enjoying it, but was somewhat disappointed by it. I directed my mixed emotions into a sketch parody of it back in 2017, "Orville That Endsville." It was a good-natured poke at the show which did illustrate some of my nitpicking.

The pilot episode was about a lackluster captain getting to helm a new space ship in the 25th century. We meet the crew plus have a plot about villains (the Krill) trying to steal a time machine the good guys (the Union) developed. And they defeated them with a sequoia. It was a witty, off-beat take on the Star Trek universe. A lot of TV critics were expecting "Galaxy Quest" while I had my hopes up that it would be "Quark." The difference was "Galaxy Quest" was about imposters manning a space ship. Orville was going to look more like if the USS Enterprise was crewed by the employees from Dunder Mifflin. After the pilot, the comedy/drama ratio started to shift, leaving me…somewhat disappointed.

The third season finally popped up on HULU, then I learned that all the episodes of The Orville hit Disney Plus and I could see it now. I decided I would re-watch the first 2 seasona since they were so long ago and I hadn’t watched them since they first aired (I missed the era of summer reruns).

Skit Happens: “Do You Know Jack?”

9/12/2022

Early on when I started posting under the Category "Skit Happens" (aka: From the Slushpile) I was posting stuff that that been submitted somewhere but didn't get chosen. Post-pandemic (if we are, in fact, post-it) I've been writing sketches and have had few, if any, places to submit them to. I don't know why I'm still writing them. It's like the idea pops into my head and I get such a rush from the act of creating, I want to get it down on paper, I need to.
In the mean time, these things are burning holes in my hard drive and I have to put them out there somewhere and I have a blog, so...

I'm not saying I was trying to write a sequel to my Homonym game show sketch, but it sure seems that's the way it came out. It's another game show for idiots and it got constructed from the end forward. The idea that all the fairy tales have a character named Jack just kind of hovered around for a long time. Then the phrase (and I believe an early game show) called You don't know Jack" worked it's way in. After that I had to decide what kind of contestants to have and during our COVID downtime, I got to pull the various threads together. And quicker than you can say jack-rabbit, I got...

“Do You Know Jack?”

Barely Home Companion: Merger (Sep. '03)

9/9/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

It was the start of the 2003-2004 season. I would usually try to submit something that would point out some of the changes that had occurred over the summer. And what would be more unlike NPR than having NPR buy out a couple of big companies? Anyway, the sketch is actually based on my Wall Street experience. The company I worked for bought another company, but we took on their name. And for that reason, all these hot-shot Wall Street guys treated us like they took over us. They were a nasty, snobby group and I found it hard to deal with them. So, to vent, I wrote this for PHC. I was probably risking some wrath bad mouthing my employers (as I am now, no doubt) but I had to get this out of my system. Basically, I was mocking 2 particular people who were not adjusting to their new employment situation very well.

I was hoping to get this out, but PHC didn't use it, so it just continued to eat away at me to this day...

Merger

Skit Happens: A Very Good Place to Start

9/5/2022

Early on when I started posting under the Category "Skit Happens" (AKA: From the Slush Pile) I was posting stuff that that been submitted somewhere but didn't get chosen. Post-pandemic (if we are, in fact, post-it) I've been writing sketches and have had few, if any, places to submit them. I don't know why I'm still writing them. It's like the idea pops into my head and I get such a rush from the act of creating, I want to get it down on paper, I need to. These things are burning holes in my thumb drive and I have to put them out there somewhere and I have a blog. So...

Continuing with my musical comedy phase, I started this sketch with the gang from TMI: Hollywood in mind. I listed all the characters at the top (which they requested on submissions). It's a sketch where the characters get both too literal and too obtuse as Maria tries to teach them about music. I really let loose with it. It would have been a good sketch for a big cast (even though they never much cared for my song parodies). But, like I've been saying, the group couldn't over come the lockdown. I wound up sending the sketch to the producer because SNL did a parody of the same song this season, with West Side Story star Ariana DeBose screwing up the same song in a different way. They had her being obtuse and not the kids. Sure, mine's better, but they have an actual TV program to put it on.

A Very Good Place to Start

Skit Happens: Favorite Things

8/29/2022

Early on when I started posting under the Category "Skit Happens" (AKA: From the Slush Pile) I was posting stuff that that been submitted somewhere but didn't get chosen. Post-pandemic (if we are, in fact, post-it) I've been writing sketches and have had few, if any, places to submit them. I don't know why I'm still writing them. It's like the idea pops into my head and I get such a rush from the act of creating, I want to get it down on paper, I need to. These things are burning holes in my hard drive and I have to put them out there somewhere and I have a blog. So...

As I posted else where, thanks to cable and streaming, topical pop-culture is no longer limited to recent entertainment. SNL has gotten deep into the habit of doing parodies of classic movies. In fact, they've done a number of "Sound of Music" bits in the last few years (I think it kicked off with NBC doing Sound of Music: Live). Add to that the fact that while working at home, I have on a music station (which I can't play at the office). One of the channels is for stage and screen songs. A lot of Sound of Music numbers get played, and that certainly triggered the idea for this sketch. What if the song "My Favorite Things" was, as one of the kids says, a bit on the nose?

Favorite Things

Acting Out

8/24/2022

I woke up the other morning flashing back to my younger days, to my “performing career.” Not sure what triggered it.

You ought to know that my family is full of hams and attention seekers. I realized now that the idea of performing always tugged at me. I would watch the comedians on TV and the classic old movies and they called to me in some manner. But I was stranded on the island of Staten, long before it became the comedy powerhouse it is today. Back then I had no mentors, no guide posts, no teammates. There were things I would attempt, things that were shots in the dark.

I remember when I was 6 or so, my young uncles, only a few years older than me, putting on their version of “The Soupy Sales Show” for the family and some neighborhood kids. They cribbed the jokes, gags, puppets, props and puns from the show and acted it all out in the family room. I remember this very well. So, obviously, things could be done...

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