While updating the blog, I stumbled across this lost bit. I wrote it but 3 years ago, as the talk of the Olympics was comingling with the talk of the pandemic. I submitted it to a number of sites, but it didn't make the cut, so it it is. Just project yourself back to July 2021 when everyone was getting sick, but they still wanted to jump and run and stuff.
 From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Here's one of those sketches that didn't leave much of an impression, on them or me. I don't remember creating this. It's basically a episodic bit, where I assembled a series of odd observations and lines and some family jokes that got repeated each year about the game thant I had been sitting on for a while. It's so like, no wonder I don't remember it. And it would have been too late to submit elsewhere. Super Bowl
From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
If memory serves, this is the last bit PHC bought from me. It's massively re-written as GK inserts his "tax & spend" liberal ideals into the bit to garder "clapter" (that's getting claps instead of laughter for something said. It's not a joke, just a declaration that everyone agrees with). It's just odd how I attempt to write a tight sketch, it gets unraveled into a meandering routine.
It's back on the old PHC website (they had shrubbed it after GK had his #MeToo Moment a few years ago), but I'm posting my audio file below, so you may compare and contrast. Post-State of the Union The Florida Radio Project produced the radio adaptation of "Space Case recently and I took audio clips from the show to create this new promo for the book. Through the wonders of the internet I was able to find free stock footage and sci-fi music to fold in. I think it gives a good feel to the book, and even though it has a spoiler or two (if the title didn't already give it away) I'm happy with it. 
From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
This is one of those bits I knew wouldn't get far. It was way too pop-culture for Keillor's tastes. But I thought it was a funny bit. The reality shows were taking over so, why not combine Survivor and American Idol, right? I'm sure all the mis-spellings in the draft I sent them didn't help either.
Audition Island From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Once again, I dabble in the world of Shakespeare, for what is literally a black-out sketch for radio. It's a very short piece. Hey, it was the holidays, I must have been distracted. The entire bit turns on changing "Shakespeare in the Park" to "Shakespeare in the Dark." And it's quick turn. I feel like this is one of those times I just needed to send something in to show I was still around. And it's weird, since I had just gotten a piece in (sort of) in the previous show that I wouldn't have tried harder with a follow up. It didn't get picked, but I think we can all agree to as why it wasn't. Shakespeare in the Dark The movie was completed 2 years ago. The director and co-writer passed away, but our little movie "Steamed" keeps chugging along! We just learned that "STEAMED!" was highly appreciated and received a Special Jury Award from the Taiga International Film Festival team, a festival that featured over 500 films from 61 countries was submitted. It's both exciting and sad that the film is still out there getting attention. But I'm glad Beverly Bonner's work is being appreciated (and my work, too. Just sayin')  
From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Here's one of those submissions with a happy-ist ending. As I've mention before, I was always looking to write one of PHC's signature bits, not the big ones like the cowboys or the english major, but I tried his Guy Noir character (and got a line or two picked up for one sketch), I submitted for duct tape and ketchup to some success. But a many of my sketches had to pass through the GK-rewrite process.
One of my pet peeves is how we're inundated with Christmas music from Thanksgiving on and then somewhere around noon on Christmas Day, the radio station all go back to their standard playlists. I used the ketchup sketch to whine about that. But the folks latched onto the idea that music today sucks and people seem overly attached to 1950s pop music. It's weird how that's the premise they focused on. A version of my sketch was produced and there's a couple of my lines in their version. I got a check and an online credit. And enough confidence to continue submitting to the show for a couple of more years. I'm posting my version of the sketch, followed by the audio of the PHC Dec. 27, 2003 production (which they have in their archives, here Ketchup Advisory Board: Post-Holiday Blues From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... I've done a ton of "It's a Wonderful Life" parody. I love the movie, but, face it, after multiple viewings, you start to see the plot holes and odd bits of business. We have to recall that movies weren't really meant to be see a hundred times. You saw them in a theater when they were released, maybe again if they did a re-release. Once TV came onto the scene, suddenly movies were being seen a lot more frequently. And home video, DVDs to VOD and streaming, well you can catch every mistake old movies made. There are entire websites devoted to this. But, again, we do it out of love. And face it, Wonderful Life covers a lot of territory and makes a lot of sly points. And as our history moves on, it's fun to take new events and work them into the frame work of a classic film. It's a solid, established foundation that can let you build upon with any goofy idea. Back then, some of George Bailey's behavior in the movie struck me as...unbalanced. How would he deal with some of his burdens in modern times? There's a pill for that. So, here's yet another updating of IAWL, written for PHC that got passed over. Merry Christmas you broken down old radio show! It's a Wonderful Pharmacy From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... I'm not sure how I never saw a "It's a Wonderful Life" and a "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" mash-up before. I mean, it's right there; they're both about Christmas and have the word "wonderful" right there in the title! I really like writing song parodies. There's something about the structure that makes working jokes into a medley that much more rewarding. And that's to the internet and online rhyming dictionaries, wow, has it gotten easier. The first time I really tackled a song parody was doing a version of "Lydia the Tattooed Lady" about Medicare for a MASH parody. I mean, I was showing it to friends like I cracked a code or something. It was a rush for me (Less so for them). Anyway, I put this together to get it to PHC in time for the holidays and they passed on it. Humbug. It's a Most Wonderful Life |
Dan FiorellaFreelance writer, still hacking away. 
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