Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large - Easy as Falling off a Blog

Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - It's the Most Wonderful Life (Nov. '05)

11/29/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I think this is one of those deal where I wrote the song parody for ACN and it was passed on. Now, it's was kind of a risky submission; PHC wasn't exactly known for its song parodies. So I wrote up a little intro to it which came out pretty good, upon re-reading it now. It's a little early in the season, but I couldn't be too precious about my material to PHC and sit on stuff, any stuff, I thought up.

I really like the way the song came out. Tight, scans well and makes all the right movie references with a couple twists here and there.

It didn't get picked but you can hum along now with:

It's the Most Wonderful Life

All the News Fit to Fake- WWN: Dear Dottie 11/26/02

11/27/2024

Back in the aughts, Cracked magazine was owned by the same company as the Weekly World News. During the rocky final years of Cracked, our editor, in an attempt to give the writers a pay check, had us contribute articles to WWN ("the humor magazine that nobody knows is a humor magazine.") It took me a while to get the hang of the paper but first the editor suggested I do the "Letter and Answer" format for their Dear Abby-style advice column, except that their "expert," Dottie, was a bitch. I struggled with the format, kinda of recycling various jokes and bits I had over the years into a letter format with a snotty answer.

Kind of a lackluster week. None of these letters evoke any memories, really. There's a "Welcome Back, Kotter"-based letter, a pre-pandemic lament about commuting to the office. I like the letter where Dreamer got his advice columnist mixed up. WWN ran a second column with psychic sisters to predict things. The Confidentials came out okay with some court humor. I did have trouble with the format so sometimes my letters pushed the limits, but often in the wrong direction.

Hashtag, You're It! - #Pissed-Off Pastries

11/25/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

This was one of those weeks where it started off slow, but then I hit a stride. I wound up positing 20 items. I would do a couple, then back away, then suddenly a couple more ideas occurred to me, so I'd jump back in. It's another week where most of the "featured" items were generated by WH. I'm trying to be a little more generous and retweet posts I like and there were a few, but not ones that make the website. I got 8 in this week, but oddly not the one that got the most likes online, so that's weird. There were a lot of duplicate posts and you can tell people don't look at what's already posted before they jump in (not that it's a guarantee that you won't post something that's already been posted).

So, check out the WK page, or mosey on over to Twitter and check out the hashtag there...

#PissedOffPastries

Barely Home Companion - Debbie’s Free-Range Accidentally Killed Turkey Farm (Nov. '05)

11/22/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

There was quite a break from Halloween to Thanksgiving. I've tried to get this sketch on it's feet so many times I can't remember whether I pulled it out of the file for this or if I wrote it for here and tried to resubmit afterward. I even re-worked it a bit to be a Christmas holiday sketch and even slipped it into a rom-com I wrote. It's basically a silly bit, but also kind of dark. It seems like it belongs with one of my Gravy Hut or Anchor Store skits, but it plays very different.

It got a pass on multiple fronts, so we'll just present it here:

Debbie’s Free-Range Accidentally Killed Turkey Farm

All the News Fit to Fake- WWN: Dear Dottie 11/19/02

11/20/2024

Back in the aughts, Cracked magazine was owned by the same company as the Weekly World News. During the rocky final years of Cracked, our editor, in an attempt to give the writers a pay check, had us contribute articles to WWN ("the humor magazine that nobody knows is a humor magazine.") It took me a while to get the hang of the paper but first the editor suggested I do the "Letter and Answer" format for their Dear Abby-style advice column, except that their "expert," Dottie, was a bitch. I struggled with the format, kinda of recycling various jokes and bits I had over the years into a letter format with a snotty answer.

This week's material reads more like mine. A stinky co-worker, fighting kids for the car radio, and a nod to the TV show "Bewitched," all mine. In fact, the worker who want to collect disability was based on a true story. A co-worker's kid, who hadn't worked in years because he was on disability for a workplace injury and had settled for a lot of money was busted. Instead of considering a job, he decided to hire a lawyer and get him to re-open his case and try to collect more money from the accident. I knew him slightly because at one point he worked in our mail room and was fired for multiple reasons. So definitely worth a letter.

Hashtag, You're It! - #Mean Medicines

11/18/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

Only 2 this week. I wasn't initially thrilled by the topic, Mean Medicines, but I thought up one good one to get started, looked up a CVS ad and went from there. I'm disappointed, my first one, Marquise de Sedative, didn't get selected. Two out of 17 seems pretty slim, but I saw one account posting endless tweets and they were awful. They were unrecognizable as jokes or medicines. I was curious about who would post so many (for hours, BTW) so I clicked on the account link to discover I Was Blocked! I have no idea who this account is or why I was block, but there you have it. Hashtag games are not for the weak. Even if they are...weekly. Sorry.

All the News Fit to Fake- WWN: Dear Dottie 11/12/02

11/13/2024

Back in the aughts, Cracked magazine was owned by the same company as the Weekly World News. During the rocky final years of Cracked, our editor, in an attempt to give the writers a pay check, had us contribute articles to WWN ("the humor magazine that nobody knows is a humor magazine.") It took me a while to get the hang of the paper but first the editor suggested I do the "Letter and Answer" format for their Dear Abby-style advice column, except that their "expert," Dottie, was a bitch. I struggled with the format, kinda of recycling various jokes and bits I had over the years into a letter format with a snotty answer.

To be honest, this is the first time I'm reading these things since 2005, and some not even after I submitted them. And as I'm reading these, I'm thinking, "I didn't write that." As I mentioned, I never really felt I got a handle on the column and the editor was reworking my responses. The letters seem like something I would write, but some of the answers not so much. The tattoo one sounds like the set-up to my "get a tattoo, it'll make it easier to identify the body" joke I used in a screenplay but instead it's some sensible reply here. There's one of me lashing out about my real-life co-workers that did not end in a way I would write. I see a Dennis the Menace reference and a shout-out to Abbott & Costello. The Confidentials read like all mine. Those were fun and the format allowed me to get a little more absurd and pithy. It feels like they filled in the "double feature" with larger font and graphics which makes me thing some letters I wrote didn't even get used.

Hashtag, You're It! - #New America Slogans

11/11/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

Well, we moved from one scary season to the next, post-Election Day. WH decided that after the election, the country needs a new slogan. I'll admit, I was slow to get up to speed on this one. Even reading some of the early posts didn't inspire me toward anything. After a bit, thinking about regular American quotes pulling up my sarcasm pants and I was able to come with more than a dozen or so. And I got 5 or so included on the WH website. Why am I not sure? They somehow duped the page halfway down and some of mine are in both halves and the page scrolls so weirdly, it's hard to count mine. Oh, well, see for yourself:

#NewAmericaSlogans

All the News Fit to Fake- WWN: Dear Dottie 11/05/02

11/6/2024

Back in the aughts, Cracked magazine was owned by the same company as the Weekly World News. During the rocky final years of Cracked, our editor, in an attempt to give the writers a pay check, had us contribute articles to WWN ("the humor magazine that nobody knows is a humor magazine.") It took me a while to get the hang of the paper but first the editor suggested I do the "Letter and Answer" format for their Dear Abby-style advice column, except that their "expert," Dottie, was a bitch. I struggled with the format, kinda of recycling various jokes and bits I had over the years into a letter format with a snotty answer.

Still churning them out. Let's see, I have a reference to the sit-com "Taxi." Wow, I even stole a joke from Colin Quinn in Confidentials. And that towel-heads doesn't sound like mine. It very much sounds like the editor, Dick Kulpa, who went on to become a major MAGA-head. That farting letter doesn't seem like mine, either. It's a pretty weak edition and I get why the editor jumped in to "punch it up" with fart jokes and right-wing propaganda. Also, the added in photo/story seems bigger, to fill in the spaces where my material should be.

Hashtag, You're It! -#Crude Costumes

11/5/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

Weekly Humorist wound up the Halloween season with some punny costumes. I didn't realize how many I submitted until I saw what WH re-tweeted. 21! I just pulled up a store page listing their most popular costumes and run from there. Most of the entries were of the gross/crude variety (as were mine) and I went a little blue here (not sure why). I got 10 in, so I'm happy. Check them all out:

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