Raining and forgot your umbrella? Simply tie a clear plastic bag over your head!
Go after that dream NOW. The quicker it fails miserably, the quicker you can get it out of your system.
Never judge someone until you've walked in their shoes. Then you can judge them and you have a new pair of shoes.
Laughter is the best medicine, but has a street value of zilch.
If the proof is in the pudding definitely order more pudding.
Fun fact: Many dessert items make perfectly fine breakfast foods.
Remember, in America anyone can become president and there’s nothing you can do about it.
It all starts with the dream but ends with the restraining order.
After the third sneeze polite society allows your response to changed from “God bless you” to “Enough already.”
In the winter, for the proper effect, it’s best to take off your mittens before attempting to flip someone off.
If you want to dream bigger, get a bigger pillow.
Believe in yourself, unless you’re Bigfoot.
You can’t change the past, you can only change the future, unless you’re a time traveler, then all bets are off.
Being wrong never killed anybody, except that guy on the bomb squad.
When life closes a door, a window opens. That’s why you should install a revolving door, who wants to climb through a window?